“What’s in it for me?” Navie asked, crossing her arms over her chest, drawing attention to the way her arms shoved her tits up. Sweet Lord in Heaven, thank God she hadn’t zipped up that hoodie of hers. Why did it feel like I discovered something new about Navie every day that made my dick stand up and take notice? The woman had one of the best racks in New York. I was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong with me. I hadn’t been lying when I told her I hadn’t slept with the woman in my kitchen. Truth was I hadn’t slept with anyone since that very first day she caught Bethany leaving my apartment. I was in the middle of the longest dry spell I’d had since freshman year of high school. I couldn’t explain why. Maybe I was getting sick or something. That had to be it. That was the only reasonable explanation as to why I was allowing Navie’s opinion of me to put a damper on my sex life.

“For fuck’s sake, Navie,” I hissed. “You’re already getting double-time—okay, okay, okay!” I nearly shouted when she started for the door again. “You can have anything you want. Just get rid of her.”

She eyed me skeptically. “Anything?”

“Jesus! Yes!”

Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her phone, tapped on the screen a few times and held it in the space between us. “Repeat after me,” she said in a no-nonsense tone.

“You’re recording this?” I asked in exasperation.

“Hell yeah, I am. I need proof to hold over your head if you ever try and renege on our deal. Now, quit bitching and repeat after me. I, Rowan Locklaine, asshole extraordinaire…”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I grumbled, earning myself a narrow-eyed glare. “Fine. I Rowan Locklaine, asshole extraordinaire…”

“Do solemnly swear from this point forward to never, ever be a flaming douchebag to my lovely personal assistant, Navie Collins.”

With a huff and a roll of my eyes, I repeated everything she’d just said and waited for her to continue

“And I hereby give her unfettered access to my cable television…”

“What?”

“Just say it!”

“Why do you need access to my cable?”

“Because I don’t have cable at my apartment and I need to take full advantage of your DVR so I can record all of the shows I’ve been missing.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a migraine coming on strong. “For the love of God.”

“Hey, if you won’t agree to my demands, I can just leave.” She shrugged casually, like it was no concern to her one way or another.

“All right,” I ground out through clenched teeth. “You can use my DVR.”

“Deal,” she chirped, shutting off her phone and stuffing it back into her purse. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“What are you doing?” I asked as she shrugged off her sweatshirt and handed it to me, leaning back just slightly and sticking her stomach out so a small bump formed on her otherwise flat belly.

“Getting into character,” she said simply, tugging on the hem of her t-shirt. It wasn’t until that point that I noticed what her shirt said.

“‘That’s what she said’? Seriously?”

“Hey, don’t hate on my shirt. The Office was the best show in the history of television.”

Son of a bitch. The girl was just too adorable for her own damn good. I couldn’t help myself; I felt the smile begin to tug at my lips as I spoke. “Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.”

When Navie laughed at that, her entire face lit up. There was no missing the fact that she went from adorable to downright stunning whenever she laughed. My body’s reaction to the intoxicating sound was instantaneous, and I shifted awkwardly. Trying to hide a semi in a pair of basketball shorts was damn near impossible.

Once her laughter finally died down, she looked at me with those shimmery blue eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay. Showtime. You go in first, and I’ll be right behind you.”

I looked over my shoulder at her in bemusement as I reluctantly headed back into the kitchen where some god-awful bubblegum pop song was being butchered within an inch of its life. The moment I cleared the threshold, the tall, statuesque brunette at the sink spun around with a squeal.

“Baby, there you are!” She skipped around the island and threw her arms over my shoulders. “I was starting to get worried. You were in the bathroom for a really long time.”

“Oh, I… uh,” I stuttered, instantly regretting the good ole ‘I have to use the bathroom’ excuse. That excuse should never, ever be used on anything that takes longer than five minutes to accomplish. Luckily, I was saved from having to defend myself against possible Irritable Bowel Syndrome when Navie came busting into the kitchen like a miniature blonde tornado.

“How could you?!” Her screech was so high-pitched I cringed at the sound of it. All I could do was stand in shock as Navie’s eyes filled with tears while her hands caressed her inflated stomach. “I can’t believe you, Rowan! You swore to me there would be no more women when I told you about the baby!”

It was as though a record scraped to a sudden halt in my head. Baby? What. The. Hell! All of a sudden, those big, crocodile tears that had been welling up in her eyes fell free. I had to hand it to the girl—when she put her mind to something, she clearly went all out.

“Rowan? What is she talking about?” the woman with the anaconda arms coiled around my neck asked.

“Uh… um… look, Mindy—”

“My name’s Mandy.”

“Oh! That’s just great!” Navie shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m carrying your child, trying my best to deal with the stresses of a high-risk pregnancy, and you’re cheating with some girl whose name you don’t even know!? This is unbelievable.” She tacked a loud, gut-wrenching sob to the end of her tantrum for good measure.

“Oh, my God!” Mindy… Mandy… whatever it was, exclaimed with a shove at my chest. “You’re such a pig!”

“Uh…” I mumbled, dumbfounded. “I don’t know what’s happening right now.”

“Oh, no,” Navie breathed as she collapsed into one of the barstools at the island. “Oh, goodness,” she said dramatically with a hand to her chest.

“Are you okay?” Mandy/Mindy darted around to Navie and placed a hand on her back.

“I-I’m fine.” She sighed. “I think it’s just all the stress. I’ve had blood pressure problems. My doctor’s concerned that staying in this relationship isn’t healthy for the baby,” she lamented, big tears running down her cheeks. “I just… I just love him so much.” She sniffled. “I thought this baby would change him, you know… that he’d want to be there for me and his son? But I guess I was wrong.”

Mandy/Mindy pulled Navie into her arms as more of those fake sobs wracked her body, all the while shooting daggers my way.

“I’m so sorry,” Mandy/Mindy soothed. “I had no idea. I never would have—”

Navie sat up straight, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Oh, it’s not your fault. Trust me, you aren’t the first woman he’s fooled.”

“Is there anything I can do? Can I call you a cab or something? Do you have somewhere else you can stay?”

I had to turn my back on the two women to keep them from seeing me roll my eyes.

“I’ll be fine.” Navie sniffled again. “I have to pack my things, but I have a friend I can stay with. Please, don’t worry about me.”

I made the mistake of turning around when I heard the shuffling of feet. The slap Mandy/Mindy laid on my cheek stung so violently it almost brought tears to my eyes.

“You’re unbelievable! You have this beautiful, loving woman and you’re too much of a bastard to keep it in your pants! Shame on you.”

And with that, she stormed from the kitchen, leaving Navie and I listening as the front door opened seconds later, quickly followed by a loud, wall-rattling slam.

“Oh, wow.” Navie giggled. “That was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.”

Shooting her a scowl over my shoulder, I pulled open the freezer door and grabbed a bag of peas, pressing the cold plastic to my face to ease the burn. That only made her laugh even harder.