“Right, but the economy—”

She didn’t let me keep talking. “The fact I’m still selling expensive bridal gowns proves that if people are willing to spend on the low end, three grand on a wedding dress, they’re willing to buy coffee and a pastry for five bucks.”

She was right about that.

“It shouldn’t matter,” I confessed quietly, my eyes focused on her pretty, pink tea cup, “but I really want to prove to my dad, I did the one thing he said I couldn’t. And succeeded.”

She waited for a few seconds, I suppose to see if I was going to burst into tears or something. When I didn’t, she gave me her own brand of Dee wisdom. “You’re an odd woman, Kath.”

“Yeah.” I chuckled, thinking she was making some kind of joke, perhaps setting me up for a pep talk.

She wasn’t.

“I never would have thought you required a man’s approval. Not only that, but a man who has essentially treated you poorly most of your life. Just because your father is some kind of real estate legend doesn’t give him any power in your life unless you let him.”

Since I couldn’t disagree with any of that, I decided to let her have that moment.

“You’re absolutely right. And by the way, that concludes my drama,” I smiled.

“Will you be at Paper Petal later?” she asked.

I planned on it, just to check in with Ruby and see if she needed my help with anything.

“Yeah. I’ll bring coffee and some kind of treats this afternoon. I feel like baking.”

“You use your oven in the summer?” she asked.

“I use my oven year round. You think all the food and baked goods I bring just magically appears without the use of an oven?” I laughed. “But really, heat doesn’t bother me, so if my place gets hot, I just roll with it. But dude, I detest winter.”

“After living in London, I’m not a big fan either. I swear, even in the summer, it was like everything around me from the ancient buildings to the trees…even my winter boots seemed to retain that bitter cold.” She gave me a warm smile and reached her hand over mine. “You flew over it pretty quick, but whatever…‘Mark’…said to you, I know it must’ve hurt, Kath. I’m sorry he was a jerk.”

“Good riddance.” I stood up. “The man was like a soap opera.” I made my way to the door and dug my sunglasses out of my purse. “I want you to know, I didn’t just come to you because Tor isn’t here. You’re in my heart, honey.”

The edges of her mouth moved into a sweet smile. “See ya later, K.”

“See ya, Dee-ya.”

***

From the minute I left Dee’s, I practically ran straight home, images of Holst burned on my brain. First stop, kitchen, where I grabbed a stick of fancy butter from the fridge and tossed it on the counter to soften. Then my hand was in my pants. I’d already broken into a cold sweat on my way to the bedroom. My hand was only a temporary fix until I flung open the drawer next to my bed, whipped my jeans and panties down to my knees and touched the buzzing tip of my vibrator between my legs. What felt like an instant orgasm barely took the edge off, but it would have to do…for now.

If I didn’t find a new fuck buddy…and soon…I was looking at a daily battery-filled-frenzy of substandard orgasmic relief. I spent big money on toys. Devon alone was a hundred and fifty dollar dildo. I was the first to argue that, if your wonderful man didn’t know what he was doing, a good toy could augment your relationship. But Mark had known what he was doing, and my new reality, sans Mark, meant my battery buddy was working overtime. And with the movie in my head on a constant loop the past few hours…a single drop of water falling down the middle of Holst’s chest, down into the tuft of hair above that bronzed cock…holy shit.

I was certain, no toy could touch that.

But later, as I stood in the kitchen placing just-cooled cookies into boxes, I had a kind of epiphany. Maybe this was all part of the big turning point in my life. Six months ago, I probably would’ve gone to the bar and started my vetting process all over again. I definitely would’ve drank to excess. But at some point, I would’ve looked in the mirror and tried to convince myself the needling, ugly emotion I was experiencing wasn’t shame. The fact I was aware of all this proved I was learning from my mistakes. I’d been living in fear for some time—of failure, of heartache—hopeful that one day, the man who took my heart would bring it back.

But it was time to let him, and the fear of taking a risk again, go.

This wasn’t something I wanted to do. But Mark’s words had hit their target as intended. They didn’t fall on resilient ears of the presumed, self-confident Kath I let people see; they sank their teeth into the very bones of me. I was scared of being alone. It didn’t matter now. I was only thirty-three. However, Mark was right about one thing, and I’d already figured that one out all on my own…

I was getting older.

“No more bars,” I told myself.

The days of going to the bars and picking up guys had an expiration date. Don’t get me wrong, age wasn’t going to stop me from having a good time. But the amount of available men in my age group was going to be smaller. If they were looking for a wife, they’d choose a younger woman…if they could get her. And if they were looking to get laid…they’d choose a younger woman for that, too. It didn’t matter how good I looked, and if my mom was anything to go by, I was going to be lucky in the genetics department.

With all of those thoughts swirling around in my head, I left my cookies and got dressed. “Understated,” I told myself. I finished my hair, pulled back into a simple, long ponytail. I threw on capri jeans and my old Keds, a plain tee in olive green. Minimal make-up, a little bronzer, and my plain, gold hoops to finish my look off. With my new armor on, I took the three boxes of chocolate chip cookies and looked out my front door.

There, on the porch, was a huge wind chime, given to Tori by Cam. For some reason, she hadn’t taken it with her. When I asked if she wanted me to bring it to the new house, she replied, “You told me to take it all in…when I wasn’t sure…when I was about to go out and find another distraction. And every time I looked at that wind chime, I was reminded about all of Cam’s small gestures. I think you should keep it here…to remind you to look for the small gestures.” Tori knew me, she loved me, and she wanted me to have what she had.

So far, I’d made two firm decisions. One, I would dress comfortably, for me. Not to get laid, not to impress anyone but myself. Two, I would embrace the fact I was following my dream and ignore everything else surrounding it.

The hot guy business partner, inconsequential.

My parents coming to town to rain on my parade? Who the fuck cared?

And last, but not least, I would come to terms with the fact, my great love was not coming back. He was not going to come and rescue me from a life of spinsterhood…

I was.

And if a man came into my life, so be it.

But before any of that happened, I was going to work.

Holst

Cam’s brother, Drew, was talking to me about beams, weight bearing or something, but I was no longer paying attention. I was watching Katherine slip her gold-rimmed shades onto her head. Her blond hair was slicked back, pulled into a curling ponytail that hung just beyond her shoulders. Everything about her looked understated, natural, and fucking beautiful.

She held out a box of what I thought were cookies. “Hey guys,” she greeted. “Drew, how goes it?”

I took the plastic tub from her hands, opened it without looking, and took a bite: chocolate chip, still warm. I extended the box to Drew, who helped himself to a cookie, but wasn’t quiet at all.