YOU SEE THIS, PAL?

IT’S MY EYE AND IT’S WATCHING YOU.

EVER SINCE WE MADE YOU A FULL-FLEDGED MEMBER OF NERDS, I’VE NOTICED SOME TROUBLING BEHAVIOR FROM YOU AND I’VE COME TO A CONCLUSION …

… YOU’RE LOSING YOUR MARBLES!

I THINK THE STRESS OF BEING A SECRET AGENT AND A KID IS GETTING TO YOU. YOU LOOK TIRED AND DISTRACTED. IT’S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF—BEING A MEMBER OF THE NATIONAL ESPIONAGE, RESCUE, AND DEFENSE SOCIETY CAN BE DIFFICULT. WHEN I WAS A MEMBER OF THE TEAM, I WAS STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE CAN LET THE MENTALLY UNBALANCED STAY ON THE TEAM.

WHO AM I?

HMMM … YOU’RE HAVING SOME MEMORY PROBLEMS. THAT’S NOT A GOOD SIGN. MY NAME IS MICHAEL BUCKLEY. I’M A FORMER MEMBER OF NERDS. MY CODE NAME WAS BEANPOLE, AND I WAS THE GREATEST AGENT NERDS EVER SAW.

YES, REALLY!!!!!

ANYWAY, WHEN I RETIRED, I TOOK ON A NEW JOB: DOCUMENTING THE CURRENT TEAM’S CASES AND KEEPING MY GREAT BIG EYE ON NEW RECRUITS. I’VE TALKED TO THE BOSSES ABOUT YOU. WE’RE CONCERNED, SO WE’RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A TEST TO SEE IF YOU ARE MENTALLY FIT TO BE A SECRET AGENT.

WHOA! SLOW DOWN WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS. THE TEST WILL TELL US HOW YOU REACT IN HIGH-PRESSURE SITUATIONS. THE BIG SHOTS WANT TO MAKE SURE BEFORE WE TOSS YOU OFF THE TEAM.

THE TEST IS PRETTY SIMPLE: A SERIES OF MULTIPLE-CHOICE QUESTIONS SIMILAR TO THE TESTS THEY GIVE POLICE OFFICERS, FBI AND CIA AGENTS, AND MEMBERS OF THE MILITARY.

HERE’S A SAMPLE QUESTION. ANSWER IT HONESTLY:

______________

1. ARE YOU CRAZY?

a. YES! ABSOLUTELY, YES!

b. KINDA

c. PROBABLY

d. I’M FINE, BUT THE VOICES IN MY HEAD DISAGREE

OK, I’M A LITTLE TROUBLED BY YOUR ANSWER. ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING? HEY, WHAT’S WITH ALL THE FIDGETING? YOU LOOK NERVOUS. WORSE, YOU LOOK GUILTY! WELL, YOU CAN LIE TO ME, BUT YOU CAN’T LIE TO THE TEST. SO IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE AN AX MURDERER OR A PYROMANIAC, YOU MIGHT AS WELL FESS UP NOW.

HMMM … DENIAL. FINE. READ THROUGH THIS CASE FILE AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS. WHEN YOU’RE FINISHED, WE’LL TOTAL YOUR SCORE TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH.

UNTIL THEN, THIS IS MY EYE …

… WATCHING YOU.

Alexander Brand, Nathan Hale Elementary’s janitor, limped down the school hallway using his mop wheelie bucket as a makeshift cane. His bad leg was bothering him. Ever since the accident, it ached when a storm was coming. If he could just get off it for an hour or so, it would be as good as new, but he couldn’t take a break. His boss wanted to speak with him.

He turned a corner and saw the school’s librarian, Ms. Holiday, waiting for him by the supply closet door. She was blonde, with the kind of glasses that made her look both smart and feline. When he saw her, he couldn’t help but smile, but he forced it from his face. It wasn’t professional. But it was difficult to stay professional when she smiled back.

“If he wants to see us, it must be serious,” she said.

Brand nodded. “It’s always serious.”

He took a set of keys from his coveralls and unlocked the closet door. Once inside, Ms. Holiday turned her attention to a shelf stacked with jugs of bleach and rolls of paper towels. Moving them aside, she placed her hand on the brick wall behind them, and suddenly a pinpoint of green light traced the outline of her fingers.

“Identity scanned and approved. Good morning, Agent Holiday,” an electronic voice said.

“Good morning,” she replied as Brand unzipped the front of his gray uniform, revealing a surprising sight—an elegant black tuxedo, complete with crisp white shirt and a shiny black tie. He checked his silver cuff links, brushed some lint off his shoulder, and snatched a white cane from the corner.

“How do I look, Ms. Holiday?” he said.

“Dreamy. You know, you can call me Lisa when we’re alone, Alexander. After all, we’ve been dating for almost a month—”

“And we agreed that we were going to keep that a secret. I am your boss.”

She put her finger to his lips. “Our secret is safe with me, Agent Brand.”

Brand tried to put weight on his cane and stumbled backward. He scowled. He could disarm a nuclear bomb with one arm tied behind his back, but when Holiday was around he became a bumbling idiot.

“Good morning, Director Brand,” the electronic voice said.

Brand righted himself. “We’re going to the Playground.”

“At once,” the voice replied. “Delivering in three, two, one.”

The floor beneath Brand and Holiday suddenly sank, and the two were sent plummeting deep into the earth aboard a tiny platform. They passed plumbing systems, electric cables, even the remains of an ancient graveyard long lost to history. Soon their platform zoomed into the bowels of a massive cave. Shadows tiptoed along the walls. Water dripped down from above and the air felt cold and thin.

“I can’t wait for my secret entrance in the library to be finished. I hate taking this route,” Ms. Holiday said as she slipped her hand into Brand’s. “It’s creepy.”

Brand, however, was not frightened. On the contrary, he was fascinated! The cave reminded him of the abandoned mine he and his brother, Tom, had explored as children growing up in Colorado. Their grandfather, who raised them, had warned Tom and Alexander to steer clear of its tunnels, but the boys couldn’t help themselves. By the time Tom left home to join the air force, the two brothers knew every twist and turn. Tom would have loved this cave.

“Alexander?”

Brand pulled himself out of his memory. “Yes, Ms.… Lisa.”

“We’re here.”

Brand glanced around. He hadn’t noticed that the platform had sunk into a room so wide and cavernous it could have doubled as a football field. Columns held up the arched ceiling, each pillar decorated in tiled mosaics celebrating the different areas of science—geology, chemistry, astronomy, and more. Machines filled the vast room, along with hundreds of worktables littered with computer parts, test tubes, circuits, and tools. Scientists in white lab coats bustled about, their hands filled with bizarre instruments and inventions. In the center of the room, a round platform stood a few feet off the ground. On it were five leather chairs surrounding a strange desk. The desk had a small hole cut into it and circuitry embedded beneath its glass surface.

As Brand and Holiday approached the platform, a glowing sphere shot out of the hole in the desk and zipped toward them, stopping within inches of their faces. The sphere was no bigger than a softball and covered in blue blinking lights.

“Welcome to the new and improved Playground, Mr. Brand, Ms. Holiday.” The voice came from the blinking sphere.

“Nice to see you again, Benjamin,” Ms. Holiday replied.

Unlike the voice in the broom closet, the ball’s voice was dignified, proper, and even a little old-fashioned. Benjamin’s personality was patterned after one of America’s most famous spies, Benjamin Franklin. “What do you think of it?”

“Looks just like the old Playground,” Brand said.

“At first glance, yes, but when you take a closer look you will see everything is beyond state-of-the-art—a hundred workstations, a biofueled power grid, and every square inch of wall space can now be adapted for an unlimited number of uses.”