Just then the squad was called on stage. With their hearts in their throats they marched in single file and stepped out in front of the crowd. There was a smattering of applause as they took their positions.

Matilda looked out at the audience with a sense of awe. These fans loved what the teams did. They came in all weather and fought traffic and followed them on the Internet. They thought cheerleaders were something special.

A hyper announcer with long blonde hair took a microphone and waved to the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, last but not least we have Arlington, Virginia’s, own Team Strikeforce—our Eastern Conference elite squad. After their performance, the judges will compile their scores as well as those of the Western, Central, and Southern conferences. Then the winning squad will be announced. So, are you ready for one more cheerleading performance?”

The crowd roared. “Sit back and enjoy … Team Strikeforce!”

A thumping beat started and the squad stepped into action. The girls worked seamlessly, kicking and leaping. They clapped and danced with enthusiasm to make up for their missing member. They had thrown together choreography at the last minute and their performance was not perfect, but it managed to highlight each of the girls’ strengths. When one person lost a step, the others jumped in to help dazzle the crowd. When they were finished with their last “Fight! Fight! Fight!” Matilda knew that Team Strikeforce had done its best and she hadn’t used her super-inhalers once. Somehow it would have seemed like cheating.

The three other teams were brought out as the judges tallied their numbers. Matilda slipped her hand into Kylie’s and Kylie slipped hers into Shauna’s. Even Tiffany took Matilda’s free hand.

“We have a winning team!” the announcer shouted. “Before we announce them, let’s give a big round of applause to all our competitors for this year’s National Cheerleading Association!”

The crowd cheered and Matilda felt Tiffany’s hand tense.

“Our third runner-up … from the Midwest, Action Incorporated!”

The crowd exploded and the girls of Action Incorporated stepped forward to accept their trophy. They took a bow, which led to even more applause, then returned to their place on the stage.

“Our second runner-up is Southern Hospitality!”

The girls from the South rushed to the announcer for a trophy that was quite a bit bigger than the first. They jumped and kicked and together shouted, “Thank you!”

“Our first runner-up did a remarkable job, but we can have only one winner,” the announcer said.

Matilda looked at Kylie as a drum roll was pumped through the speakers. Then she looked at Tiffany.

“You did good,” Tiffany said without a hint of a smile.

“Our first runner-up, representing the West Coast, California Girls! Yes, folks, that means this year’s winner of the coveted NCA trophy is our Eastern Conference finalists—Team Strikeforce!”

Matilda thought her ears were playing tricks on her. Had the announcer really said they’d won? She looked around at her squad and saw them jumping up and down. Pammy and Jeannie were crying. Kylie wrapped her arms around Matilda and gave her a strangling hug. Even Tiffany was grinning from ear to ear as she rushed to the center of the stage to take their trophy. She held it over her head and shouted, “I led them. This is my team. I am their leader!”

Matilda found herself jumping up and down, too. Later, she would be slightly embarrassed for screaming with delight and the many “wooos!” she let loose, but at that moment she couldn’t help herself.

Unfortunately, the celebration couldn’t last. She blasted an incredible sneeze, which could only mean one thing: There was trouble at the Playground. She tapped her nose to activate the comlink.

“Wheezer here.”

Brand’s voice sounded panicked. “Wheezer, I don’t know if you can hear me. It sounds very loud.”

“I can hear you, boss!” she shouted over the crowd. “What’s wrong?”

“We have a crisis. It’s Heathcliff.”

I’M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO PROVE YOUR SANITY. GET IT RIGHT AND YOU CAN CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF! I DOUBT IT WILL MATTER, THOUGH.

WHO WAS THE GREATEST AGENT IN NERDS HISTORY?

a. YOU, MR. BUCKLEY! (CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF!)

b. AGENT BEANPOLE (CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF!)

c. IF I TOLD YOU, I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU … BUT IT WAS TOTALLY MICHAEL BUCKLEY (CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF!)

d. FOUR EYES, WHO WAS ON THE TEAM FROM 1987 TO 1992 (100 POINTS!!!!!!)

OK, THAT’S IT. WE’LL TOTAL YOUR SCORE AT THE END OF THE FILE. FOR YOUR SAKE, AND THE SAFETY OF THOSE AROUND YOU, I HOPE YOU DID WELL.

Gerdie was horrified. For all her superintelligence she felt completely foolish. Everyone had warned her that Heathcliff would betray her!

She pressed the comlink in her nose and heard Pufferfish on the other end. With the portal open, she could still communicate with the team. “We’ve got a problem,” Gerdie said as she rushed to the atomic harpoon to check on her calculations.

“What are you saying, Gerdie?” Pufferfish said. “Is it Heathcliff? Whatever he’s doing, you have to stop him!”

Gerdie’s nanobytes went into overdrive calculating pro-babilities there was a percent chance that if screwball got his teeth back, combined with the power of her bridge device, he could take over their world and the rest of the multiverse—but she couldn’t stop the upgrade process once it had started. Not even her math skills could shut down that advanced machinery.

Gerdie glanced back at the glowing portal and an idea came to mind. She had to speed up the harpoon’s process, force her Earth back into the universal constant, and then destroy the bridge device. It would trap Heathcliff in this empty world, but …

“I’m going to save our world and every other one, too. But I will be trapped here in this world forever, and so will he,” Gerdie replied.

“You can’t do that!” Duncan shouted over the link.

“Yes, I can,” Gerdie said. “If it saves everyone else, I can take on this burden. I have no choice.”

Gerdie took a deep breath and turned up the harpoon’s ray.

The machine rumbled to life and shot a brilliant blue beam through the glowing ball. The portal swirled and shimmied, undergoing incredible unseen pressures.

Gerdie checked the device’s display. “It’s working!” she cried. “The beam is pulling the planet back into place.”

Gerdie took the glove off her hand and slammed it on the ground, then stomped on it. She suddenly felt a twinge of remorse—it had been such an ugly device at first, before it had gone through its own upgrades. She never imagined it would cause so much devastation. Then again, she never imagined she would, either. After a couple more stomps her precious device was shattered. The glowing portal shrank into nothing and with a tiny pop disappeared like a soap bubble.

Just then, the door of the upgrade room flew off its hinges and across the room. It slammed into a wall, leaving a jagged hole where it had once been. From it emerged something that her upgrades could never have calculated. It was Screwball—but he was different.

His head was as big as a van.

His torso was gone.

His arms and legs hung from his gigantic noggin like the appendages on a doll, lifeless.

His mouth, eyes, and nose were also stretched out of proportion, making him almost unrecognizable except for the enormous, gaping hole where his front teeth had been. Heathcliff hadn’t gotten the upgrade he had expected.