Leila stood and took his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Probably as much as Austin misses his Oreos.”

“I’ll deal with Austin later,” he grumbled. “Tonight I’m eating nachos and Twizzlers with my friend.”

Leila tried so hard not to let the word friend make her stomach twinge.

Friends were allowed to make your stomach twinge.

Right?

Chapter 18

 

 

HENRIK’S ROAD TRIP

Wednesday night was a typical night on the road. The team flew to a random city, checked into their hotel, had a grueling practice, and then went out for dinner. It was typical, except for all the important things.

Henrik had a new fancy face shield on his helmet.

It was ugly and large. It looked like something Buzz Lightyear would wear. He absolutely hated it, but was told it was non-negotiable at least three times by the medical staff.

He also persuaded Austin to switch up their usual roommate arrangements in the spirit of team unity. So, he decided to bunk with Sam. The team dinner consisted of just that, the team only, and no teammate was excluded. He was finished with the one-track mind stigma everyone was determined to throw in his face. He could be a good captain, a better friend, and more importantly, a man deserving of a woman like Leila, even if that meant their relationship was purely platonic. He was confident that with a little self-awareness he could accomplish that much.

Fully clothed Scrabble could work.

“Okay, I’ve just got one question, and it’s probably going to offend you.”

Henrik rose up from his spot on the bed where he crashed as soon as he entered the room five minutes earlier. He turned to look at Sam, who stood stoically in the middle of the room, still wearing his suit from dinner.

“That’s never stopped you before,” he reminded him.

“Are you rooming with me so you can talk to Austin’s sister without him knowing?”

He rolled his eyes and lay back down on the bed. “Yes, Sam. You are merely a pawn in my grand scheme to get my ass kicked.”

“You’re such an ass.”

He took the pillow behind his head and chucked it at Sam’s grinning face. “Then don’t ask stupid questions. I’m rooming with you because for some ridiculous reason I actually enjoy your presence.”

Sam caught the pillow, and waited for him to actually answer his question.

He groaned. “If I wanted to call Leila, I’d call her. I don’t need a permission letter from Austin.”

Sam walked over and sat on the corner of the bed. “So, are you? You know, going to call her tonight?”

Henrik grinned back at him, glancing at the door that connected their room with Austin and Callen’s next door. “Yeah, as soon as Austin goes to bed.”

Sam laughed, finally taking off his suit jacket. “So, how is the friendship thing working out for you?”

He shot him a knowing look.

“That well, huh?”

“It’s not like I go over to Drew’s thinking today is the day I’m going to make a move on her. I get near her, and shit just happens. I can’t help myself. It’s like embedded in my genetic code or something. I see her, and all my mind can think is ‘touch her, smell her, move just a little closer.’”

“Smell her?” Sam inquired, trying not to laugh.

“She’s like lilac scented heaven, asshole. Get off my back.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” he said and chuckled.

“I accidentally made a move on her the other day,” he admitted, and for the first time he actually felt horrible about it. “I didn’t mean to, and hell, I didn’t even realize I was doing it at the time.”

“I’m going to assume by the sour look on your face that it didn’t go over well.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh as he recalled the incident. “She shut me down. Hard.”

Sam tried not to laugh, but failed. Henrik threw his other pillow at him. “Sorry,” Sam apologized. “But at least now you know how the other half of the world lives.”

“She actually told me to go out tonight,” he confessed.

“Go out?” Sam asked, surprised. “As in ‘find a woman and bring her back to your room’?”

“Yep.”

“Are you?”

He rolled his eyes. “Do I look like an idiot?”

“Just checking.” Sam arranged the pillows beneath his head, and sank back against them. “It sounds like she is just confused about what she wants.”

“She isn’t confused,” he explained. “I think she knows what she wants, it’s just—”

“What?”

“I think she’s scared that I’m like Derek. That if she lets her guard down, I will inevitably hurt her.”

It was the first time he had ever said the thought out loud, though it had been nagging at him for weeks. Leila had no reason to trust his word, and after her experience with Derek, airing on the side of caution would be expected. Except he didn’t want to be placed in the same category as Derek. Sure, he’d done his share of scumbag things, but he’d never been in a committed relationship at the time.

Relationship.

It seemed like his every thought and action kept leading him back to that one original idea, and the more he considered it, the more unattainable and illogical it felt.

He wasn’t allowed to have that kind relationship with Leila. Austin and Drew barely conceded friendship.

“I may be a rookie, but I’m pretty sure the entire universe knows Derek Deroty is a certified douche bag.”

Henrik smiled sadly at his new friend. “Well, I hate to break the bad news to you, Sam. But up until about two months ago, so was I.”

“Henrik, there is a big difference between being a little,” Sam paused, probably trying to decide the best way to insult him, “self-involved, and being an uncaring, inconsiderate bastard.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Either way, she is determined to keep me at arm’s length.”

“Are you okay with that? I mean, are you going to ultimately be satisfied with just being friends with her?”

He covered his face with his hands. “What are you doing to me, Sam?”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yes, you are,” he growled, running his hands through his hair as if he might pull it out. “You’re making me confront my feelings.”

“Feelings? I thought that we weren’t allowed to reference such blasphemy?”

He glared at the rookie, but Sam was too busy enjoying himself. “You can go ahead and tell me I was right if you want. I really don’t mind.”

He clenched his teeth. “I like her, all right? I admit it.”

Sam shook his head disapprovingly. “Come on, I see the way you look at her. You more than like that girl. You admitted, when you get around her, you can’t control yourself.”

“I officially hate you,” he growled. “We’re not friends anymore.”

Sam laughed. “Fine. You don’t have to convince me, but you should call her.”

He immediately shook his head. “It’s too soon.”

“Take some advice from me,” Sam insisted. “It’s never too soon to be honest.”

He thought about it, and for the first time in his life, he was scared. That was when he realized there would be no going back for him. Unknowingly, he’d let Leila under his skin, and he’d have to face the ultimate consequence if he failed. He wasn’t sure what a broken heart felt like, but a frightened one was close enough to make him know he never wanted to find out.

Sam dropped Henrik’s cell phone in his lap. “Call her,” he assured him. “I’ve got a call I need make myself, and I can do it from the comfort of the hotel lobby as easy as I can here. Call her tonight, tomorrow night, and every other night after that. If you’re serious about her, then you’re going to have to prove it to her, and unfortunately for you, that takes time.”

Henrik leaned his head back on the bed, running a tired hand down his face. “Unfortunately for me,” he mumbled.