“Don’t,” she warned. Her eyes wide and wild as they met mine, wet mascara smeared beneath.

“Okay.” I held up my palms and settled onto my knees.

“Avery—”

“I said don’t.”

“I just want to talk.”

“Sounds like you’ve been talking quite a bit already this evening.”

I laughed once, trying to lighten the mood. “Yes, I talked to her. You talk to other guys all day long, but I know you love me. And you are the only woman I have ever—will ever—love.”

“Yeah.” She nodded, swallowing hard before she looked up at me again. “I know you didn’t love any of those women before me either, but that didn’t stop you from sleeping with them. Why would it be any different now?”

“Because I have you.”

Avery’s long hair fell into her face, blocking me from getting a good look at her. “Getting upset isn’t good for the baby.”

A sob racked her body as she banded her arms around her knees, hugging herself tightly.

“Whatever it is, I can explain. Please talk to me, Avery. What did Ashton say? Ginger was there and saw the whole thing. I was drinking at the bar. Hope showed up. We chatted. Ashton came over to stir up trouble, I told her to fuck off, and then I left. The end.”

A knock at the door got my attention for half a second, but I quickly focused back on Avery. “Baby …”

“Avery?” Deb’s voice echoed in the apartment as the front room illuminated.

“Back here,” Avery called out. She glared at me while she yelled, as if she could see betrayal in my eyes.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “Why is Deb here?”

My pregnant wife pushed up to her feet, and panic pushed through my veins.

“Avery?” Deb said, stopping when she saw her friend. “You ready?”

“Okay,” I said, trying to remain calm. “Take some time and think about this. Call Ginger. She can explain.”

“I’m not interested in whatever story you and Ginger concocted. She’s your friend, Josh. Not mine.”

I heaved, her words knocking the breath out of me. “I should have known. It ruins everything.”

Avery narrowed her eyes, her fury building. “It?”

“I’m fucking cursed, Avery,” I blurted out. “I should have told you, but I’d hoped if I did right by you, if I changed … It destroys everything I touch.”

“Cursed? Do you think this is funny?”

“My sister, my parents, Brooke, the baby … I’m being punished for what I did to Kayla.”

“You’re not being punished, Josh,” Avery spat. “You were a kid.”

“I thought if I did this right, if I didn’t fuck around, that just maybe we …” I shook my head, unable to finish.

“Bad luck is an excuse used by cowards who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.”

“You don’t understand, Avery,” I said, reaching out for her. “It sounds crazy, but I’ve lived it. Bad things happen to people I care about. I’d stopped trying until I met you.”

“Bad things happen, Josh. You can’t just give up on making the right choice.”

Avery awkwardly bent over to pick up a bag I hadn’t noticed sitting by the bedroom door.

An overwhelming sinking feeling came over me. “Don’t leave,” I begged. “I can fix this, Avery. Just … don’t leave me.”

Avery covered her mouth, and with a sob, turned for the door.

Deb seemed sad, curling her arm around Avery’s shoulders and walking her outside.

I slid down against the wall, knotting my fingers in my hair. “I can fix this,” I whispered to myself. “I’m gonna fix this.”

The living room light reflected off a silver chain on the coffee table. Avery’s penny necklace was lying on the glass. My heart began to pound against my rib cage, and I closed my eyes tight. “I’m gonna … what the fuck do I do?”

I stood and stumbled toward the necklace. Beneath it was a pair of coral lace panties, ones I was sure didn’t belong to Avery. I picked them up, turning them in my hand. “What the fuck?”

After a knock on the door, I ran across the room and yanked it open. Avery wouldn’t be knocking, but at the moment, I didn’t care why. I just wanted my wife to be standing on the other side.

“Hey,” Hope said. She noticed my expression and then poked her head in. “Are you alone?”

“I can’t talk right now, Hope,” I said, turning and closing the door.

It didn’t close. Instead, I heard Hope’s footsteps behind me.

“Um … that’s my, um … in your hand.”

I stopped and turned around, looking at the thin fabric. I tried to keep my voice even. “Why are your panties in my apartment, Hope?”

She shrugged, looking embarrassed, but not surprised. “I must have dropped them on the way out after I finished my laundry.”

I held up the lace in my fist. “My wife found these. She fucking left me, Hope.”

Hope took a step toward me. “I’m so sorry. I can try to call her if you want.” She touched my arm. “She’s been so irrational, Josh, even for a pregnant woman. She’s … I didn’t want to say it before, but she’s so mean to you. I hate to see you beat down over and over again. You’re so good and so loving. Avery doesn’t see it. I’m not sure she ever will. Do you want to come over and talk about it? Toby’s asleep.”

For the first time, I saw the desire and intention in Hope’s eyes.

“I just want to make you feel better,” she said softly. “We can hang out on the couch, or … we can do whatever you want, Josh. Sometimes we just need one night not to have to think about or feel anything.”

I looked down at her.

Her gaze fell to my lips. “I can make you feel better.”

Just as she leaned closer, I shirked my arm from her grasp. “You scheming bitch. You did it on purpose.”

“What?” she said, feigning surprise.

“You told me earlier you knew exactly how many pairs of panties you had.” I threw the lace to her, and she caught it against her chest. “You left them here for Avery to find!”

“Josh,” she said. “You’re upset. You’re being ridiculous.”

I pointed to the door, feeling rage boil in my blood. “Get out. Get out before I throw you out.”

“You’re crazy,” she said, backing away. She stopped in the hallway, indignant. “You and Avery belong together.”

“Yeah, we do,” I said, slamming the door in her face.

My spine ached from sitting so long on the floor, but it felt right to suffer. Avery had been gone for three days, and I’d been drunk for about the same amount of time.

My bloody hands shook as I tipped the fifth of Jack to my lips, closing my eyes as the burn scorched a path from my lips down to my stomach.

The amber liquid was barely a trickle now that I’d sucked the bottle dry. Tossing the glass to the side, it clattered and banged along the floor, coming to a rest against the kitchen island.

I looked down at my hands, flexing them and feeling the bloodied skin of my knuckles pulling open. A few hours before, after I’d left Avery yet another voicemail, I’d taken Dax out for a walk and decided to punch the tree in the back courtyard.

It took me two tries to push myself to my feet, stumbling to my right while struggling to keep my balance. The world around me blurred and spun as I blinked back tears.

I’d gotten everything I’d wanted. I had Avery, the woman I never deserved, and a child on the way. Somehow I’d managed to destroy everything.

I pulled keys out of my pocket belonging to a black Dodge Durango and choked out a laugh. I had a family vehicle and no family.

I’d managed to sell my Barracuda for a profit, but after the down payment for the Durango and the cost of preparing for the baby, we didn’t have enough to buy a house like I’d hoped.

I’d picked up extra shifts to build up our savings. Instead of having more time together, we saw each other less. Even when the choice was made to make our future better, it ended up being wrong. I’d fucked up everything, no matter how hard I’d tried to hold it all together.