“Fuck.” I rubbed my palm along my taut jaw … I’m going to beat that prick’s ass.

“We’re lying to each other now?”

“I didn’t lie.”

“You deliberately kept the truth from me. Omission is lying.”

“I definitely didn’t want you to find out today.” I wiped my hand on a dish towel and reached for her. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I dropped off his book and we had a little chat. That’s it. I didn’t realize that the man was such a pussy he’d run and tell you. Especially not on your fucking birthday.”

She folded her arms over her chest, and I braced for the inevitable fight, but nothing happened. She just stared at me with disappointment in her eyes.

“Look …” I pushed from the counter and stepped in front of her. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll talk to him.”

“You’ve already talked to him. You mean you’ll apologize.”

I clenched my jaw, biting back the comments that came to mind. “No.”

“No?” She glared at me, yanking her hands from mine.

“I won’t apologize for fighting for what we have.”

“If you already have it, you don’t have to fight for it!” she seethed. “We’ve already talked about this, Josh. Jesus!”

I wasn’t going to back down for something so ridiculous. I had been protecting what we had by making sure Doc Rose knew I wouldn’t allow him to destroy it. She stomped into the living and I followed.

“Avery, I’m sorry if you were embarrassed. You’re right. I should have told you. But he crossed a line. I probably did him a favor. If he keeps it up, he’s going to lose his family.”

She turned, her eyes glassed over and the corners of her lips tugged down. She sniffed. “Damn you. I defended you, and he was right.”

“What?”

“We’re not kids anymore, Josh. You can’t threaten to beat someone up for eyeing your toy.”

His face twisted in disgust. “You’re not a fucking toy, Avery. I’ve never treated you like that. And he wasn’t just eyeing you, not that it makes any of his bullshit okay. He has a family. You didn’t see him smirking at me every time he was around you. He thought it was a game. You’re not a game to me. You’re my family. He may take his for granted, but I sure as fuck don’t.”

Avery’s bottom lip quivered. “I don’t need this.”

“You don’t need me.” I said the words without emotion, trying to stay calm, but anger surged through me. “What the fuck, Avery? You know what? That’s fine. I need you enough for the both of us.”

“That’s the problem,” she blurted. “You’re being irrational. You don’t think things through. This is still new, you and me, and it’s happening really fast. We need to step back for a second.”

Slipping the penny over her head, she gritted her teeth and then shoved it at me.

I felt broken, like the moment had come when I’d finally lose everything. “For my thoughts?”

“No. I don’t even want to know what you were thinking.” She set the necklace down on the coffee table.

I stared at the necklace like she’d put a poisonous snake on my table. “Avery,” I said, swallowing down the sudden panic. “You can’t … you can’t just tell me you love me and then bail at the first sign of trouble.”

She hesitated, mulling over what I’d said. I relaxed a tiny bit before she shook her head. “You wanted a girl like me, didn’t you?” she said, wiping her cheek with her wrist. “Sensible, selective, and worthy? This is what girls like me do, Josh. We pay attention to the red flags, and you are a giant fucking red flag.” She turned on her heels, slamming the door behind her.

“Fuck,” I growled. I pushed up on the edge of the coffee table, flipping it onto its side before collapsing back onto the couch and burying my face in my hands.

I’d never let anyone in like I had Avery, and now I’d let her down. I knew going to Doc Rose’s had been a dick move, and that was exactly why I hadn’t told her what I’d done. But that didn’t make it okay for her to just walk out on me. That wasn’t what love was about. At least, that’s what I thought.

I picked up the table and her necklace. I decided to try to distract myself with housework, but I kept running across things that reminded me of Avery. One of my pillows smelled like her shampoo, her razor was in the shower, her toothbrush in the holder, even the dish soap, which I changed because she preferred the green kind over the blue. I scrubbed harder and moved faster, but nothing worked. I kept thinking about the hurt in her eyes before she walked out, and guilt consumed me.

My apartment was cleaner than it had ever been, but it had never felt lonelier. Dax was sniffing at my feet, sensing something was wrong. I dug my phone from my pocket as I pushed to my feet and began pacing the floor, careful not to trip over Dax, who was anxious to get my attention. I hovered my finger over the screen, trying to decide who to call. If I called Avery and she didn’t answer, I knew I just may lose my fucking mind.

I dialed Quinn’s number instead. Being alone with my thoughts was never a good idea.

He answered after three rings.

“I fucked up, man.” I ran my hand over my messy hair and continued to pace.

He groaned, and I could tell I’d woken him. “What did ya do now, dumb fuck?” he asked during a drawn-out yawn.

“She left me. Avery fucking left me.”

“What?” he yelled. I could hear a female’s voice grumbling in the background.

“That Deb?”

After a scuffle, Deb’s voice was crystal clear on the other end of the line. “It better be Deb or your friend here would be two apples short of a picnic if you smell what I’m stepping in.”

I closed my eyes, keeping my voice low and even. “Please put Quinn back on the phone.”

With an exasperated sigh, there was some muffled noise before Quinn was back on the line.

“I went to the doc’s house, Quinn.”

Quinn chuckled. “You did what? Because if I heard you right, that was idiotic, brother, even for you.”

“I know,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck, pacing while I spoke. “But he’s married. His fucking wife answered the door.”

“Whoa, Josh. You need to think about this. Doc Rose’s family is none of your business. I love you, man, but you crossed the line.”

“He crossed the fucking line!” I snapped.

“Josh,” Quinn said, keeping his voice calm. “You have to trust Avery to handle it. You can’t control everything.”

“I know,” I said. My lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen, and I sat, struggling to breathe as Dax pawed at my leg.

“It’s going to be okay,” Quinn promised. “She’s mad now, but she’ll forgive you. Deb is nodding her head. She agrees with me. She loves you.”

“Yeah?” I said. I covered my face, unsure whether he was placating me or being sincere.

“Yeah, man. Get some rest. It’ll be better tomorrow.”

We hung up, and I trudged to the bedroom, falling onto the mattress fully dressed. The coils squeaked, and I groaned. Something else to remind me of Avery: her sighs when we were naked about where I was lying now. I stared at the ceiling, praying to fall asleep, and then glanced through the doorway at the hutch in the living room. I promised myself never to drink for any other purpose than entertainment, but getting just drunk enough to sleep was very fucking tempting.

I sat up and looked at the clock. Both hands were on the eleven. I looked at the hutch again and then pulled out my phone, dialing Avery’s number. It rang several times before her voicemail picked up. “Please call me back. I don’t wanna fight, I just want to … I’d like to at least apologize. You can do whatever you want with it.”

I hung up and looked at my watch for the dozenth time since she’d left. She wasn’t at work. There were very few places she could be at that time of night.

I grabbed my wallet and headed down to Corner Hole. She wasn’t going to call me back, and I couldn’t sit around and wait. After she heard what I had to say, I would give her some space, if that’s what she wanted, but I couldn’t walk away from us.