He tilted my body, forcing my swollen clit to rub against his firm pelvis. Thrusting onto his cock, I groaned, back arching to the max. My pussy was a mess, and the tattoos beneath me were covered in my juices.

There were flames of ink licking up his hips and belly. I was so wet, if they'd been real, I'd have put them out.

My insides fluttered, wild heat flowing into my cunt. As my clit twitched, the rest of me followed. “Oh, hell,” I breathed out. The mounting pressure grew, my pussy squeezing over and over like a pair of lungs that needed air.

Spikes of delirious pleasure hit me hard. When I finally came, I held my breath, my jaw locking as my eyes closed.

“There you go,” he said, his voice as thick as syrup. “Keep cumming, babe. Keep fucking going.”

He commanded me, and I listened.

Shaking, I slid my hands across his chest, seeking anything to hold me down. I felt so good, I worried I would float through the ceiling any second.

My pussy clenched, hugging his stiff shaft as it pistoned into me. He hadn't slowed down, he was riding through my orgasm. Abell was pushing me further, eager to see what I could take.

Once, I'd told him I liked a bit of pain. I'd just been boasting; I didn't mix pain and sex ever in my life.

He opened my mind, pounding into me with the core-shaking thrusts of a man who could do nothing but fuck. It was perpetual motion, both of us trapped until we burned out.

“I'm so close,” he groaned, slick with sweat. “This pussy is mine, do you hear me?” His palm came around, slapping my ass—I squealed. “Mine. No one else is ever going to have it.”

If I hadn't been so drained, I would have cum again. “Yes,” I drawled. “It's yours. I'm... I'm yours.” What was I saying? I was too far gone to consider any of it.

Abell trembled down to his toes, I felt it in his skin. He bent his spine, his balls contracting against my ass cheeks. “There, there it is, I'm...!” He didn't need to finish his sentence. Warm, fast explosions of liquid flooded into me. His cock jerked to the beat of his rapid heart.

Dizzy, I swayed on top of him. His fingers dug into my thighs, keeping me still, stuffing me with his seed—making me his. Even when he was empty, he kept rolling his hips, that cock still hard. The raw, animal part of me loved that.

Inhaling, he curled his arms around me, bringing me to him. I went eagerly, kissing him even as my vision went blurry.

I had nothing left in me. I was spent.

Abell had conquered my body and mind in a way no one could have. Hell, no one could even come close to. He'd ruined me for anyone else. And I knew it. I fucking knew it.

Without knowing when, I drifted off into darkness

****

Blue tulips filled my dreams. As I sat among them, they tickled my ankles, my eyelids. It was real serenity, a constant, peaceful thumping sound in my ears.

But for some reason, instead of floral, the air smelled like...

Maple and pine.

My lashes fluttered. Around me, plain white walls stretched to the ceiling. Next to me, his heat and heart pulsing away, was Abell. He was naked on top of the blankets, peacefulness making his features gentle.

This was deja vu.

Abell mumbled, shifting beside me. As if woken by my stare, his eyes opened. The room had darkened, his blue centers like sapphires at the bottom of the sea.

Wait. Where had the sun gone? “Did we fall asleep?” I asked, sitting up. “What time is it?”

“Around six.” He pointed at his bedside clock. “Guess we both needed the rest after... well.” Chuckling at how I squirmed, he slid off of the blankets and grabbed his jeans. “Come on. I'll give you a ride home.”

Together we descended the stairs, shuffling into his Ferrari in the garage. He had been right, it was after six and already the sun had set. Buildings glowed around us, the ever present color of the holidays.

We were both quiet, reflecting on what we had done.

Glancing at him, I said, “We never got to talk.”

“We did plenty of talking.”

“No,” I said, fidgeting. “About... us. What we're doing.”

We rolled under an overhang. As we did, Abell was bathed in pure midnight and rich ink, escaping every fragment of light. “We're getting married. I'm making you my wife. What else is there?”

Love.

I didn't have the guts to say it.

Abell pulled up beside my apartment. He didn't cut the engine; I knew he wasn't coming inside. His hands were glued to the wheel, as if he could never let go.

“Well,” I started to say, reaching for my door handle. “I guess I'll see you.”

In such a small space, so close to him, I sensed his energy shift. Abell twisted, reaching out for me so fast that I was stunned. My head hit the window—not painfully, but enough to make a sound.

Abell's kiss was feverish, born from an ache I understood, but wasn't ready to believe in.

Then it was over; he leaned back, breathing heavily. His eyes darted from mine, to my lips, then out the window. “I... have a good night, Nix. See you around.”

See you around? The guy was forcing himself to be disconnected. “Yeah. See you.” Stepping out of the car, I perched in the middle of the sidewalk and looked around. No wind blew, the air was stale and calm.

The city had an empty, quiet feeling to it. Less like the end of the world, and more like I was living in a cocoon.

Did that make me the caterpillar?

And if so...

When this was over with, what would I emerge as?

- Chapter Twelve -

Abell

I watched her vanish into her apartment, just sitting there in my car and... watching.

What is happening to me?

It was insanity, and I knew it. Pure fucking insanity.

I want her.

More than just for a quick fuck, more than just to hear her moan, though that was glorious in its own right.

What I wanted from Nix was deeper. It pulled at me, as if it were a memory coming to the surface. This woman was creating an ache in me that only got worse the longer I let her scratch it.

Slamming my fist against the steering wheel, I gave a hollow laugh. “I'm losing my mind. My entire fucking mind.”

This thing with Nix had shifted from a method to keep my money—and the loose women—into something so much more. I hadn't wanted it to, I hadn't even dreamed it could!

But here I was, sitting outside her apartment, wishing I could find an excuse to go inside and see her again. Just to look at her face, hear her voice.

Was this what love was?

I revved the engine hard, burning rubber as I floored it away. My fingers went to turn the radio on; the missing knob reminded me of how I'd freaked out weeks ago.

Pushing the eject button, I gingerly slid the CD of rock music out. It felt fragile in my hand. The reflective edge bounced the street lights back at me when I twisted it in the air.

If we hadn't met that night... if we hadn't hooked up...

Would any of this be different?

If I'd met Nix for the first time during that meeting, would it have been easier to close off to her? How funny, to think that a simple fling would become the root of my weakness.

Bristling with too many different emotions, I dropped the CD and ripped out my beaten up pack of cigarettes. Lighting one, I pulled into the garage below my apartment. The buzzing of my phone startled me.

Shoving the cigarette to the corner of my lips, I parked the car and clicked the green button on my cell phone. “Hello?”

“Mr. Birch,” a robotic voice crackled. “Do you have a moment?”

Screwing my eyebrows up, I opened the door, stepping into the garage. “That depends, who's calling?”

“Someone with a message.”

Chuckling, I dropped the cigarette, crushing it with my heel. The tobacco just didn't taste as good as it used to. After having Nix, nothing compared. “A message? Is this a prank?”