“And where would I go?”
“What do you mean?” he asks me, frowning. “You’ll go with me.”
“And substitute one man for another?”
“I’m not him! Do you really think my intent is to take the place of your piece-of-filth father?”
God, he’s so angry. “That’s not what I’m saying. But Curran, I have to stand on my own. If I can get through these next few months, I can walk away and finally be free.”
“What if he stops you?”
“He can’t,” I try to insist, despite my shaky voice. “Once I pass the boards, I’ll finally have a way to make my own money.”
“Tess, this is a sick man who has gotten off on hurting you, scaring you, and forcing you to do things against your will. Do you think that’s going to end with your graduation? If you don’t think he has another ace up his sleeve, you have another thing coming.”
His eyes sweep over my body, while his hands travel the length of my arms. “Do you see yourself?” he asks me. “Do you have any idea what you look like right now? He’s killing you, baby. This man is destroying everything you are, and everything I love about you.”
He hauls me to him when I sob into my hands, his words and their truth dismantling me. “I don’t want to be like this,” I admit.
“Then don’t. Let me get you out of here. I make a good living. I have money put away. I can carry us through until you can stand on your own. Will you let me?”
I clutch the front of his shirt, knowing what I have to say, and wishing I didn’t have to. “I can’t.”
Curran’s muscles tense beneath my hold. He doesn’t move or speak, not for a long time. But when he does, his words crush me more than an avalanche of falling stones. “If that’s the case, you’re more broken than I thought, and I can’t fix you.”
He wrenches himself away from me and grabs his jacket, then marches toward the hall. Without another glance back, he throws the door open.
I call to him, but he leaves anyway, slamming the door behind him.
Chapter 24
Curran
I drive around for two hours. The cop in me is gone. The Philly boy raring for a fight? He’s front and center, looking for a way to find fucking Newart. Bastard piece of shit. I swear I could choke him with my bare hands.
He damaged my girl, spent years reducing her to nothing, and I’m not sure there’s a way to get all of her back.
What pisses me off, though, is that Tess is right. Me storming in there, pretending to save the day, won’t save her in the end. She needs to walk away from him. I can’t make her do it. No. I owe her more than that.
I make it back to my apartment after hours of senseless driving, but can’t even put the key in the lock. She’s a mess, and I left her like that. I glare at my door for about ten seconds before I hotfoot down the back stairs and head back to her place.
It’s almost one in the morning when I reach her building. I rush out of my car, pausing only to nod toward her guard sitting in his vehicle. I knock on her door moments later. She opens it slowly, her eyes red and swollen.
Shit. I was hoping I’d wake her. It would mean she’d slept, and not stayed awake crying like she obviously had.
“Hi,” I say like a dumbass.
Tears leak from her eyes. Damn. For as much as I think her father is a supreme dick, being the one to cause those tears, I’m no better. “I’m sorry I left.” She doesn’t answer, choosing instead to wipe her cheeks. “And I’m sorry for what I said. It won’t happen again.”
Her voice shakes. “What won’t?”
“Huh?”
She struggles to speak. “What won’t happen again? What you said?”
I shake my head. “I’m not going to keep quiet about what I think of your father. It’s wrong what he’s doing, and barely on the side of the law. But I was wrong, too. I shouldn’t have left you. Not like you were.”
She presses her lips and backs away into the apartment. “Do you want to come in?”
“I really do,” I answer, meaning it down to my gut.
Aw, hell. That only makes her cry harder.
I shut the door behind me, flipping the deadbolt and pulling her against me. “Baby,” I say, when she falls into my arms. “Don’t cry.” She cries harder. “Okay…I guess you can if you want.”
Her shoulders shake. It takes me a sec to realize she’s laughing even through her misery. “Thank you,” she mumbles.
I lead her to the bedroom and strip down to my shorts. She removes her glasses and slips into bed, cuddling close when I gather her to me. “What do you want to do?” I ask.
“About my father?”
“Yeah.”
“Part of me wants to run out of here with you, but then I worry that it may be for the wrong reasons.” She lifts her head. “I want us to be together because of us. Not because my father drove me into your arms, or because you feel this need to save me.”
“What if I want you with me? Even if this shit had never gone down with your father?”
“But it did. I think you would have asked me to move in with you before tonight if you really wanted me to.”
Maybe. Maybe not. In all honesty, I’ve thought a lot about us, and about being together for the long haul.
When it comes down to it, we haven’t known each other long, not really. The last thing I want is to rush things and screw them up. What I have with Tess is special. I’ve never felt this way about any girl. Not even close. But despite our time together, there’s a lot she’s kept from me. And I don’t like it.
“Did you tell me everything? Or is there stuff you left out?” I groan when she doesn’t answer. “Just tell me.”
“I don’t want you to get angry again.”
“I’m already pissed. But I hate these damn secrets. You’ve been quiet this whole time about shit you should have told me about. Now that I know some of what’s going on, don’t you think you owe me the rest?”
“I never meant to lie to you. But this part of my life is humiliating, and not something I ever meant to share.”
“But you have.”
“Yes. I have.” I give her a moment, and then one after that before she finally speaks. “I didn’t study abroad my senior year of college.”
I frown. “Then where the hell did you go?”
“Away where I wouldn’t cause any trouble.” Her voice grows distant, like she’s remembering. “My father was livid over a low grade I received at the end of junior year. But when he found us together, it pushed him to his breaking point. I embarrassed him. So he gave me a choice: finish my senior year at an all-women’s college two thousand miles away, or watch as he expelled you.”
I jerk to a sitting position, taking her with me. “What?”
She keeps her eyes on me. “Come on, Curran. You were caught in bed with a young woman whose father was the university’s president, in her sorority house, after curfew. Did you ever wonder why nothing happened to you?”
Yeah, about a million times—especially since the skinny bastard threatened to toss me. “You took the fall for me.”
Tears wet her cheeks, but she grins anyway. “I couldn’t let him ruin you, too.”
I think she’s maybe going to say more, but I silence her with a long kiss. Back in college, school, my friends, my frat—they meant everything to me. Good times, plus the opportunity to make something of myself.
“You took the fall for me,” I repeat, realizing everything it must have cost her.
Her soft smile and voice hold me in place. “And I’d do it again.”
Yeah. She would. “So why don’t I return the favor and take care of you now?”