His hands cupped my cheeks as his eyes searched mine. Tears threatened as I wondered if our baby would’ve had those same copper ones.
“Sierra.” His voice was pained. Breathless.
My heart hammered as I awaited his response.
“I will always need you.”
A soft whimper escaped my lips. Relief overwhelmed me as a flood of emotion attacked my senses, tears spilling onto my cheeks. Jeremy wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his chest.
The crying, something I tried not to do often, surprisingly felt…good. No. It wasn’t just good. As Jeremy held me close, it was therapeutic, and I felt safe enough to let it all out. I cried for Ty. I cried for my sister. I cried for my unborn angel—for both Jeremy and myself. The entire time I cried, Jeremy kept me enveloped in his embrace, whispering soothing words of love.
When I was finally all cried out, I sniffled and lifted my head. His eyes were tight with concern as they studied mine.
“I’m so sorry, Jeremy. I’m so sorry,” I chanted. “I’m so sorry for shutting you out when I should’ve been in your arms all along. This didn’t just happen to me. It happened to us, and it wasn’t fair for me to act the way I did.”
He briefly closed his eyes, and when they reopened, he was holding back tears. It was nearly my undoing.
“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered.
I whimpered in protest. He brought a finger to my lips, silencing me, then brought his forehead to mine. Our lips were so close, but I was focused on his eyes. Eyes that, while full of grief, still shone with all the love in the world.
“As much as it hurt, you pulling away, I understood. The thing is, I’m hurting, too, Sierra. Can’t we do it together? Grieve together? We’ll be feeling this loss for the rest of our lives, but we can’t lose ourselves or each other in the process. This has been nearly unbearable, losing the baby then feeling like I’ve lost you, but we’re both still here. Ava is still here. We have to keep on living, as hard as that may feel at times. We’re still a family. We always will be. That doesn’t mean we have to forget. It means we keep going. We live. We love. And, baby, it’s okay if we still laugh.”
The reminder of our vows was the salve I needed to put the pieces of my heart back together. “I love you, Jeremy. And you’re right. There’s a hole in my heart, and it may always be there, but with you and Ava, my heart is still so incredibly full.”
He smiled. The first real smile I’d seen from him since that fateful date our baby had been taken from us. It was beautiful.
“Thank you. For sticking with me.”
“Always, baby. We’re a family. I’m not going anywhere unless you’re with me. Got that?”
“Got it.”
His expression softened, causing my heart to beat wildly. “And, now, we need to be there for Lexi. She’s going to need us.”
My heart threatened to shatter at the reminder of my sister’s loss. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. “God, Jeremy. What do we do?” I asked.
His hand tightened on the back of my neck. “We love, Sierra. We live, we laugh, and we love. We surround her with it but also give her the space she needs. It’s not going to be easy, but she’s one of us. It’s going to take time for all of us to heal. We just have to make sure we do it together.”
When my eyes fluttered open, he was still intently watching me. “I’d be lost without you, Jeremy,” I said.
“Then it’s a good thing we made that spit pact all those years ago,” he responded with a small smile. “Where you go…”
“I go.”
![Fusion _129.jpg](https://litlife.club/books/269548/read/images/_129.jpg)
2012
HELPING LEXI THROUGH HER grief actually allowed me to overcome my own. Still, it was a tough road to navigate. Every day spent with her, whether she was crying or staring numbly at the television, I felt guilty. It was a reminder that, while I still had my husband and my daughter, Lexi had just lost the love of her life. It made me hug them tighter every single night when I got home. Eventually, Lexi went back to work and told me that she needed space, something Jeremy insisted I give her.
Nearly two years later, I was finally healing. I could walk by a baby in the store and not have the sudden urge to cry. I didn’t hold on to Ava’s former favorite teddy bear and sit in the rocking chair, wishing I had a baby in my arms. I was even opening up to the idea of trying for another one. A small part of me would always mourn our loss, but instead of dwelling on the pain, I learned to cherish what I had.
And I wanted Lexi to have it again, too.
That’s why, when I opened the mail, I knew exactly what I had to do.
“Jeremy!” I yelled as soon as I read the words in front of me.
He walked into the kitchen, Ava riding on his shoulders. I reached up, took her, and set her down on the ground. Then I thrust the letter into his hands.
“Babe, look at this!”
“What is it?” he asked.
I grinned and pointed to the Navarre High School letterhead. “Our ten-year reunion. Oh my gosh,” I exclaimed, clutching my chest and holding a hand over my heart. “This. Is. Perfect.”
Taking Ava’s hands, I whirled her around and danced around the kitchen. Her four-year-old smile lit up, and she bounced around right along with me. When we stopped, Jeremy had a hand on his hip and one eyebrow lifted in my direction, unaware of the reason for the impromptu dance party. I was breathless and beaming.
“What’s perfect?” he asked. “What’s with the face? Should I be worried? Why are we getting mail from Navarre High School? Oh, dammit, did they finally find the time capsule I buried at the edge of the football field?” His face brightened, one corner of his mouth lifting into a coy smile. “I would like those panties back.”
I dropped Ava’s hands and walked over to him. Then I slid my hands up to link around his neck. Excitement was coursing through my veins, and I couldn’t help the dreamy smile that crossed my lips when I stared up at my gorgeous husband. His pupils were dilated, probably from the memory of how he’d gotten those panties for the time capsule. God, I loved him. I had half a mind to let him wrestle me out of the ones I was currently wearing, but first things first.
“Jace, Jeremy. Jace and Lexi,” I told him.
His eyes widened. “What?” he asked, clearly not catching on to just how perfect this was.
“Jace and Lexi! Back together again!” I squealed.
His furrowed brow ruined my happy mood. “You’re forgetting one thing, Sierra. Lexi’s here in Ohio. The reunion’s in Florida. Not sure how you’re gonna get them together.”
I gave him a wicked smile. “You leave that to me, babe.” I turned to Ava. “Ava, baby, want to go to the beach?”
“The beach?” she asked, her eyes widening and full of awe. She clapped her hands. “Can I swim with the fishes?!”
“Absolutely,” I said, to which she squealed with delight. When I spun back to Jeremy, he was chuckling and shaking his head. “Looks like we’re going to need a nanny for the reunion. Any ideas?”
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Back to where it all began?
“I know it might be a long shot, but it just feels right. My gut instinct tells me that, if anyone can bring Lexi back out of her shell, it’s Jace. And according to Facebook—”
As one eyebrow row in piqued curiosity, he inclined his head, giving me a knowing look.
“Yes, I stalked. And, apparently, he’s single.”
He laughed. “You know what, baby? I think you’re right. Those two have unresolved issues, and if getting them back in the same place helps push them in the right direction, we’d be doing them a disservice if we didn’t invite Lexi along.”
“I love the way your mind works in complete sync with mine.” I leaned up on my toes, giving him a kiss. “Now, I have some work to do.”