The ongoing silence from the police filled her with as much uneasiness as it did relief. It was a week now since Eddie’s murder, a week since she had gone to the Mansfield estate and asked him to sign the divorce papers. Why hadn’t they arrested anyone yet? For as long as the killer remained on the loose, her name would not be cleared and a cloud of suspicion would continue to hang over her.
Sadie felt a pang of guilt at even thinking of herself at a time like this. Eddie was dead, gone for ever, and she was fretting over her own situation. The truth would come out eventually, wouldn’t it? But sometimes the truth wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Every time the phone rang, she jumped, wondering if it was the cops or another call from Mona. She wasn’t sure which would be worse.
In her head, she continued to replay the two conversations she’d had with Mona Farrell, going over and over everything that had been said on the train, everything that had been said on Thursday evening. She still couldn’t believe that the girl was crazy enough to have killed. And yet… well, it wasn’t impossible.
‘Oh, Eddie,’ she sighed. ‘You may have been trouble but you didn’t deserve this.’
The wind caught her voice and snapped it away. She gazed out towards the horizon where the sea merged into the sky in a fine line of grey. A few drops of rain were starting to fall. She wished she could talk things over with Joel, that she had been more honest with him since returning from London. Why hadn’t she mentioned the strange meeting with Mona? But she knew why not. Because she hadn’t wanted to dwell on what had happened in London, not on any part of it. She had wanted to brush it all under the carpet.
Glancing down at her watch, Sadie saw that it was past eleven. The church service would be over by now. It was time to go home and tell the truth. The burden of lies was getting too much for her. She would come clean and tell Joel everything. She shivered a little at the thought of everything. Well, perhaps there wasn’t any need to tell him about Nathan Stone. What if he thought that something iffy had gone on between them? What if he started having doubts about her fidelity?
‘Damn it,’ she said, closing her eyes for a moment. Already she was backtracking, trying to think up reasons for being economical with the truth. Perhaps, like her mother, a part of her feared that Joel would suddenly wake up, see the real Sadie Wise and decide that he didn’t much like her.
And whose fault would that be?
‘My own stupid fault,’ she murmured.
Sadie took a deep breath, tasting the salt in the back of her throat. She gave the wild grey waves a final look before turning away, bowing her head against the wind and heading for home. While she walked she rehearsed what she would say in her mind, searching for the words, for an adequate explanation as to why she hadn’t been completely honest in the first place.
It wouldn’t be easy but as long as Joel trusted her, really trusted her, it would be okay. When she reached Buckingham Road, she suddenly got a song in her head, ‘I Got You Babe’, the version by UB40 and Chrissie Hynde. She sang along to the lyrics under her breath, drawing strength from the sentiments, starting to believe – finally – that she was on the right path.
By the time she reached home, Sadie was as eager to divulge her secrets as a sinner queuing at the confessional. She hated hiding things from Joel; it made her feel deceitful and lonely. She took the stairs two at a time, eager to get it all out in the open, to get it over and done with. But as she opened the door to the second-floor flat she heard the murmur of voices coming from the living room. Immediately, her heart sank. Joel must have brought some friends home from church. She had wanted to talk to him in private but now it would have to wait.
Sadie hung up her coat on the peg in the hall, painted on a smile and went on through. Joel was in one of the easy chairs and a girl was perched on the edge of the sofa with a mug in her hand. They both turned their heads to look at her.
‘Look who’s here,’ Joel said.
‘Hi, Sadie. How are you?’
It took a few seconds for the girl’s face to properly register, for Sadie to realise who it actually was. She stopped dead in her tracks, paralysed by shock and horror. The intake of her breath must have been clearly audible. It wasn’t. It couldn’t be. But no amount of denial could change the fact that Mona Farrell, bold as brass, was sitting right in front of her. ‘W-what are you doing here?’ she stammered.
‘I hope you don’t mind,’ Mona said. ‘I probably should have called, but I was in the area and thought I’d just pop in and see how you’re doing.’
Sadie stared at her, her thoughts beginning to spin as the adrenalin kicked in. Fight or flight? What she wanted to do was turn on her heel and make a run for it. Her heart was banging in her chest, her pulse racing. She could feel the dryness of her lips as she forced a few words out. ‘I didn’t realise you knew anyone round here.’
‘Yes, I’ve got an aunt in Liverpool.’
‘Really?’ asked Sadie brusquely. ‘You never mentioned it.’
‘Didn’t I? Well, she hasn’t been living there for long.’
During this brief exchange, Sadie became aware that Joel was looking puzzled, probably wondering why she was being so abrupt. But she couldn’t help herself. How could she be polite to this woman? How could she welcome her into her home? But she couldn’t throw her out either, not without looking like a prize cow. She inwardly cursed the fact that she hadn’t got back earlier, that she hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to Joel before Mona turned up.
‘Anne’s been telling me how you met,’ he said.
Sadie felt her blood run cold. ‘What?’ If she was going to speak out, she had to do it now before the chance slipped away for ever. She had to say: This girl isn’t called Anne, she’s called Mona Farrell and I only met her ten days ago. This girl’s crazy and I think she might have murdered Eddie. But even as the words sprang on to her tongue, she quickly swallowed them down. The only person who would end up looking crazy was herself.
Mona smiled at her. ‘In that pub, remember? The one on the South Bank.’
Sadie’s gaze flew between the two of them. Mona, she noticed, appeared different to when they’d met on the train. Her spiky black hair had been smoothed down and the bright red lipstick replaced by a more subtle shade of pink. Instead of wearing black, she was dressed in a demure navy blue dress with a cream cardigan. ‘Was it?’
‘Yes, you were with Eddie and the two of you —’
But before Mona could embellish her imaginary tale, Sadie lurched forward on unsteady legs and made a dash for the kitchen. She felt like she was going to be sick. Leaning over the sink, she closed her eyes and clung tightly to the cool metal edge. Her throat contracted but only a thin dry retching sound came out.
Joel hurried in after her and placed an arm protectively around her shoulder. ‘What’s wrong? What’s the matter? Are you ill?’
Sadie’s lips parted and she tried to speak but couldn’t.
‘You look as white as a sheet,’ he said.
She felt hot and feverish. Quickly she ran the tap and splashed some cold water on her face. The nausea passed leaving in its wake a dull, ugly dread. She knew she had to pull herself together, try and stop herself from falling to pieces. ‘It’s nothing,’ she said. ‘I just… It must have been something I ate. I’m okay now. I’m fine.’
Joel passed her a tea towel. ‘You don’t look fine.’
Sadie dried off her face, glanced towards the living room and lowered her voice. ‘How… how long has she been here for?’
‘Not long. Only twenty minutes or so. She was at the front door when I got back.’ He paused and then added, ‘We’ve been having a chat. She seems nice.’
Sadie flinched at the word. Nice? He had no idea what he was talking about. And he had no idea either that her sudden desire to vomit had been a reaction to finding Mona Farrell in her living room. ‘I don’t understand what she’s doing here.’ And then, because that came out sounding petulant, she quickly continued, ‘I mean, I don’t know her that well. It’s not as though we’re best friends or anything. Why would she turn up out of the blue?’