“Madison said she wants to kill yours,” she says with a sad smile.

“She’s not alone.”

“Can I get you anything?”

I smirk, and she laughs, shaking her head.

“Even in pain, I want whatever it is your offering.”

“A kiss?”

“No.”

She looks hurt.

“Tales, I haven’t brushed my teeth in a while. It’s definitely me being a gentleman.”

“A toothbrush?”

“Now you’re talking.”

“I’ll be right back.” She walks towards the door.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“They did untie you.” She smiles a sweet smile.

“That was fucked up, right?” It still pisses me off.

“This is all fucked up.”

“Tales.” I stop her before she leaves. “Tell one of them chicks I am taking this tube out of my dick if they don’t get in here and do it. That shit’s not natural.”

The nurse comes in a few minutes later. “I’m Sandy. I’ll be removing the tubing.”

“Good. Can I brush my teeth first?”

She hands me a toothbrush with paste on it and a pan to spit in. When I’m done, she pulls the sheet away. I am looking down at my dick with a hose coming out of it. So fucking not cool.

“You may feel a slight tug or pull when it comes out, but it won’t hurt.”

“Gotcha.” I brace myself for it, anyway.

“You’ll feel relieved, but you might pass urine when you don’t want to.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I snarl.

She looks at me deadpan, and I realize Nurse Sandy isn’t fucking kidding.

“This is an incontinence pad.” She shows it to me. “Lift your bum.”

“I don’t have a bum; I have an ass.” I try my best not to be pissy, but fuck this shit.

She gives me that look again. “It’ll get better over time.”

“How much time?” I ask as she pulls the tubing out of my dick.

“Not long.”

“Sandy, when my dick is in your hand, I don’t wanna hear ‘not long,’ because it is.” She turns her back to walk out. “Tell me I’m lying?”

“Goodnight, Mr. Black.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me. I’m gonna lie here and piss myself, and she can’t even laugh at that shit. Fucking healthcare.

The good news is, I’m not pissing myself. The bad news is, Tales hasn’t returned.

I sit and wait and wait some more.

When she finally comes back in, she is all wide-eyed, and her face is red.

“You’re back,” I state happily.

“Yep.” She takes my water cup and holds it up. “Drink.”

“Not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“Your throat.”

I look at her, she looks at me, and neither one of us says a word. I see it in her eyes, though; she is questioning something.

I shake my head.

“Memphis …” she says in a warning, squaring her shoulders. “Hydration is necessary, so if you’re worried about”—she glances down at my dick; I swear to fuck she does—“something, just don’t. You’ve been through—”

“Worried about what?”

She glances down again.

I shake my head. “Spill it.”

“I heard the nurses giggling at their station,” she whispers.

“About me?”

She shrug. “Something about an ass and not a bum and then length and—”

“I’m not pissing myself, Tales.”

She holds out the cup. “Take a drink, Memphis Black, or you won’t be pissing at all, and then you’ll get an infection, and you might just end up all sorts of”—she pauses—“fucked up. Your hand, your throat, and your penis, Memphis. Do you want those things most important in your life to remain … injured, or are you more worried about a little leakage?”

“You said fuck, and my dick heard you.” I can’t help messing with her. “And it’s seems to have blood flowing in the right direction, so …”

“You’re a pig.” She smirks as she sits down next to me.

“Careful, sweet cheeks, don’t get too close.”

She laughs, and then her eyes fill up with tears. “You’re going to be okay.”

“Yeah, I’m going to be fine,” I tell her so she doesn’t worry, but fuck if doubt isn’t on stage under the spotlight, center stage in my head. “I brushed my teeth.”

“So did I.”

“You wanna lean down here and kiss me? Make it easier on me?”

“Of course.”

Her lips are gentle on mine, soft and sweet, not like before and maybe not ever again, but right now, nothing has ever felt so good.

***

I wake up to a blood pressure cuff strangling my arm.

“You people are bound and determined to fuck something up on me, aren’t you?” I cringe and open my eyes.

Mom.

“You’re okay?” she chokes out on a sob.

“I’m good, Mom,” I say through gritted teeth. I don’t know for how much longer, though. Shit, I don’t know how people survive in these places.

“The good news is that you can go home today.” She forces a smile. “Also good news, I’ll be staying here until they release you to fly, so I am going to spoil my little boy and help him get well.”

“Mom …” I whisper.

“Don’t, Memphis. I need to do this.”

“Yeah, well, when I heal, I have a thing or two I need to do, as well.”

She shakes her head. “Heal.”

“I will, Mom. So will you.”

“I’m worried about the two of you. You and Madison are my life.”

“He needs to get the fuck out.”

“He has.”

“Good.”

“He’s still your father.”

“He ain’t shit.”

“Memphis, I won’t have you talk about him like that. He provided a good life for us and—”

“He funded a life; you provided it.”

She sits down on the bed as tears spill out of her eyes, and I pull her head down to my chest. As she cries, my heart breaks for her.

***

I walk into the house where the guys are all standing there, looking at me.

“Is someone gonna say something? This isn’t a fucking funeral. I’m walking; my throat is fine.” I pull my mom’s head to my chest and cover the ear that is not crushed against me. “And my dick isn’t leaking and works just fine.” I look around, then let go of my mom. “Where are the girls?”

“Grocery shopping,” Mom says as she shakes her head. “And I heard you.” She starts to walk away while all the guys laugh.

“We have a cook available,” I call out to her.

“I came to take care of you,” she says, walking into the kitchen, “so the cook gets a break. I’m sure it’s well deserved.”

I look back as the Escalade pulls in. Tally is in the driver’s seat, looking smoking hot in that big thing.

Madison gets out of the passenger side and wipes her eyes. She’s been crying. Again.

I look at the guys. “Sorry shit’s messed up. I don’t like the drama. Really don’t like bringing it to you all.” The fucking hospital, the wreck my family has become, and now the fuck pad has been invaded by women no one can fuck.

“This ain’t fucking drama; this is life. Shit drama.” River chuckles as he walks down the hall.

I look at Finn.

“Step the fuck out of your bitch pants, man. Tear off the Depends.” He grins.

“Shit’s not funny. Could be leaking today because of this shit.”

“But you’re not, so tug on your balls, get laid, and look around, motherfucker. Life is good. We’re in Miami, baby, and because of you getting your ass kicked—”

“I didn’t get my fucking ass kicked, you asshole!”

“You may have busted a nose.”

I grin. “I broke his nose?”

“Hell yes, you did, and you were bleeding like a stuck pig when you did it. I’d high-five your ass, but I don’t wanna make you cry.”

I laugh and shake my head. “You think Billy can pull off lead guitar?”

“It’s acoustic; a trained monkey could pull it off. Now, if it was bass, we’d be fucked.”

Speaking of fucked, I smell her as she walks by, and my fully functional, heat-seeking missile is … fully functioning.

“Good afternoon, ladies.”

“Wow, someone’s in a good mood.” Tally smiles over her shoulder.

“I feel like I just got sprung after being in county for twelve months,” I say behind her.

River walks out, chuckling. “Hashtag: white boy problems.”

“Hashtag: suck it.”