I have never seen them live. Even though I was invited plenty of times, I just couldn’t. I didn’t have the time or money. Now I have the time. I have lots and lots of time.

I know I will have to tell Madison soon. I have avoided it so far, just wanting to enjoy my time with her. So far, it’s been a total disaster.

Madison is smiling. “Do you hear him, Tales?” I nod. “He’s amazing.”

“Not sure if it should be called “Bang, Bang” or “Loners Syndrome”,” we hear Memphis say as he strums his guitar. “The chorus, you all join in at bang, bang. One, two, three. Two, two, three,” he says then starts doing what Memphis does best.

Her dress is devil red and skin tight.

She’s made up her mind; she has plans for the night.

Smoke filled room, the music plays.

Her eyes cut through the sweet smelling haze.

I sit. I wait. I drink a few.

I watch her dance, wait for her cue.

No lines, no promise, no future plan,

Just desire and a need of a woman for a man.

Room key in hand, I follow her.

One touch of hands, and she purrs.

That smell, that taste, that wild plum.

Look in her eyes.

Come on, give me some.

Bang, bang. My heart beats like a drum.

Bang, bang. No choice but to succumb.

Bang, bang. Not sent from above.

Bang, bang. Fits like a glove

Bang, bang. I’m driving it home.

Bang, bang. A loner’s syndrome

Bang, bang. I’m a loaded gun.

Bang, bang. Two seconds to run.

Bang, bang. No room for love.

Bang, bang. Not sent from above.

“Yeah, he sure is.” I force a smile then excuse myself to go to the bathroom.

Once the door is shut behind me, I close my eyes and wrap my arms around myself, feeling sick to my stomach. The marks he wore, the words he sung, it all makes me sick. What made me even more ill is the fact that I know deep down I still want him. I would be lying to myself if I said otherwise.

I walk out as Madison is juggling bags in her arms.

“Let me help.” I go over and grab two as she kicks the door shut behind her.

“Nice save. You know you are always there when I need you.”

We set up the food on the table as they change chords and timing then sing the song again. It will no doubt be a hit, but I think that will be one song by STD that I will not be buying.

“What did you think?” I hear Memphis ask as he sets his guitar down and looks in our direction. His eyes train on me, and then he looks to Madison.

“Effing love it, of course,” she says, beaming.

“Thanks,” he says and doesn’t look at me. “Wrote two others, too.”

“And you’re holding out?” Madison pushes him in jest.

“One, I’ll let you hear after dinner. The other—well, I’m still working on it.”

I look at him out of the corner of my eye and see he is looking at me out of the corner of his eye with his head down.

“What did you think?” he asks.

I give him a forced smile and nod. I say nothing, because if I do, I will say the wrong thing.

After dinner, I help clean up. Mads hands me a glass of wine, and I drink it down. I see the guys all heading back outside, but I don’t think I can take another “tell all” by Memphis Black right now.

I need a break from the intensity that comes with him. The feelings he evokes are like a storm, a disease, an STD, I think, shaking my head and trying to rid the picture I have in it.

“Spill it,” Mads says as she pours me another drink.

“No, it’s nothing.” I laugh uncomfortably, and without thinking, I drink down the glass of wine she just poured.

It’s bitter and doesn’t really feel all that great on my belly, but it makes me kind of numb. I like it.

“Shit.” Madison laughs. “Thirsty much?”

“Yeah. Another please.”

She pours the glass of dry white.

Note to self: if I ever decide to become a lush, dry white is not something I will ever purchase.

Purchase. I laugh at the thought. An indulgence. I can’t afford just getting by; how the hell would I even consider something I might indulge upon?

I look up to find Madison laughing.

“Damn, girl.” She fills the glass again, and I suddenly feel hot. I also feel like I just don’t care anymore. I like that feeling.

“Come on, I have the bottle,” she teases as she holds it in front of me like I’m a dog being lured by a treat. “Let’s go listen to the boys.”

Everyone is sitting around the outdoor fireplace. River is tapping his sticks on the tiled table, Memphis and Finn have their guitars, and Billy is doing something with his laptop.

I sit next to Billy, who smiles, and I lean in to see what he’s doing, feeling the weight of someone’s very blue eyes, but I ignore it.

Madison is on the other side of Billy, doing the same.

Three glasses of wine later, I’m hot and tired. They have played two songs, both ones Finn has been working on, and I am glad not to hear “Bang, Bang” again.

They end the song, and I expect them to discuss it like they did the last, but Memphis speaks.

“You do remember you’re still underage, right, Madison?”

“Are you serious right now?” she snorts.

“Just don’t want you getting all fucked up and throwing up all over the place.”

I look up and see him blatantly staring at me.

“I think he just doesn’t want to see the two of you going inside with Billy boy and banging the fuck out of him,” River begins, and Memphis draws back his fist.

“I will knock your goddamned teeth—”

“Oh, please.” Finn rolls his eyes. “If it wasn’t your sister or the girl who—”

“Watch it, man,” he warns.

“—grew up next door, you’d be the first inside with the both of them.”

“Respect, man. Show some.” Memphis stands up, sets his guitar down, and then storms into the house.

I look around to see everyone is laughing. It’s funny if you know it isn’t you who caused his grim mood.

I finish my drink and stand. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

“I’m not ready yet,” Madison says as she fills her glass and takes a sip. “But I’ll come with if you want me to.”

“To do what? Watch me sleep?” I smile. “Stay, have fun.”

“You feeling okay?” Billy asks as I take a step and nearly trip. “Apparently not. I’ll walk you in.”

“Not necessary,” I say, but he is immediately next to me, holding my elbow.

“It’s not a problem. I need to use the bathroom, anyway.”

We walk in, and I quickly scan the area. No Memphis.

“Thanks, Billy, but I’m okay.”

“Have a glass of water and a Motrin,” he says as he grabs the bottle off the counter, then a glass from the cupboard. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Thanks.”

He walks out of the room as I swallow down the Motrin with the water. I clean the glass and then head to bed.

When I round the corner, Memphis is standing against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes are angry as he stares directly at me.

“You scared me,” I whisper.

“Not my intention,” he says, looking up at the ceiling. “Look, Tales, I don’t know if I’m losing my fucking mind or if this shit I feel when I’m around you is—”

“Memphis, I am clearly making this vacation miserable for you. I—”

“I have been a fucking wreck for a year. Over a year. I finally figured out why.”

I shake my head and swallow hard, waiting for him to tell me how I jinxed him, how I messed up his music mojo.

“I’m sorry,” is all that comes out.

“Don’t be sorry. Help me fix it.”

“By letting you do all those things you say you want to do, Memphis? The things that I’m not sure if you’re joking about or if it’s just you and your … testosterone levels amped up like a damn electric guitar?”