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“But jeez, you’re tall,” Parker comments, confirming my very thoughts.

“Don’t be a dick.” Kashton looks at me, his lips turned down as though he’s embarrassed as well.

“It’s nice to meet you guys. Do you know where Mercedes is?” I ask in an attempt to skirt the discomfort.

“Yeah, I think she’s in her room, but do you mind if we chat real quick?” My eyes stretch and my pulse quickens as I look to Kashton, and it isn’t because my boss resembles a male supermodel.

I’m going to get fired.

Sweat quickly coats my palms, making me feel even more uneasy and self-conscious.

“You guys mind meeting me out in the shop? I’ll be out there in a few,” Kashton says, turning to acknowledge both Summer and Parker.

“Yeah, take your time. It was nice meeting you, Lauren,” Parker says, pushing off from the counter.

“Nice meeting you too.” Weaving my fingers together in front of me, I try to meet their eyes as they pass, and then hastily wipe them across my thighs as the front door shuts.

“I just want to touch base and see how things are going. Kenzie assured me that you’re responsible and great with kids, so I know Mercedes is in good hands. I’m just used to hearing a few things by this point.”

I try to hide my surprise by forcing a smile. I don’t know what has me more off kilter, the fact that I don’t think he’s trying to fire me, or that Kenzie said nice things about me. “That’s okay. I totally understand that you’re busy, hence my being here.” I scratch my eyebrow, wondering what kinds of things previous nannies have shared. “Things are well, though. We’re … working on getting acquainted.”

Kashton presses his lips together and edges them up ever so slightly as if he’s trying to smile but can’t. That twinge of unease in my belly seems to burn brighter. “I hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but whatever you see or hear in this house, or outside in the shop, is confidential. It doesn’t leave.”

My eyebrows draw downward, knitting with confusion as my mind races, wondering what in the hell he’s referring to. Could he be a drug dealer? A money launderer? What’s in his shop? “Don’t you work on bikes?”

Kashton’s eyes grow wide and his lips part for a second and then lift into a genuine smile that makes his brown eyes relax. “She was right. You have no idea.”

I turn my head to glance in the direction of the front door. The action is instinctual, as though I need to measure the space to know how fast I need to run.

“I sound like a fucking crazy person. I’m sorry. That’s what happens eventually, I guess.” Kashton raises a hand and runs it over his short hair, then clasps the back of his neck for a moment before straightening. “I’m not crazy or dangerous, and neither are those guys. We’re BMX racers.”

“Like BMX bikes?”

Kashton nods, looking slightly sheepish. “Yeah. You’ll see other racers around too, and the team. They’re all harmless, but we take our privacy seriously, and here at the house, we’re not on. We don’t worry about the shit we say or what we’re doing. We just like to work hard and have a good time.”

“That’s cool.” I swallow, trying to understand what that means exactly when I know absolutely nothing about BMX racing or what that world entails. “And you don’t have to worry, I won’t say anything.”

He smiles, and while it doesn’t look like he’s reassured yet, it still helps me relax. “Okay, so now that I have one awkward thing out of the way, let’s move on to the next.” Rubbing his palms together, he settles his gaze on the counter behind me. “Everyone who’s ever watched Mercedes has been from an agency. You’re the first person that I’ve ever hired from a reference. Yesterday I realized I don’t know much about you. I don’t need to run a background check on you, I guess, but I just feel like I should know more. I mean I’m leaving you with my daughter.”

It relieves me to hear that Kashton is realizing how informal and fast our relationship has progressed, but it spotlights how out of character this seems for a parent, which makes me wonder if Mercedes is feeling like he doesn’t care enough about her.

“My brother, King, usually takes care of all of the business stuff. He’s my manager and does all the paperwork and arrangements, but he’s over in Switzerland right now for an ad campaign, so I went with Kenzie on this. Don’t get me wrong…” his hands span in front of him “…I’m really glad she referred you. You’ve been great! I’m just not used to this stuff.”

“I understand.” My words are a lie, but for some ridiculous reason, I suddenly want to protect and comfort Kashton as much as I do Mercedes.

“King will be back soon, and that will help, but yeah … If you don’t mind, just share some things with me. I don’t know,” he says, running a hand across the back of his neck again and wincing just slightly with the movement. “What do they normally ask on a job application?”

My eyes widen, trying to recall the last one I filled out. “Do you want my address?”

“No, I already know where you live.”

My eyebrows knit together and Kashton shakes his head. “I mean, since you live with Kenzie, I know.”

I nod a couple of times though that still seems odd since I’ve never seen him come over. “Do you have my number?”

“Yeah, do you have mine?”

I nod once more. I’ve never used it, but it’s one of the few things Kenzie provided me with.

“What else?” he asks.

“I can give you a list of references, previous jobs, my dad’s address.”

“That’s probably a good idea. Let me grab some paper really fast.”

I lean against the counter as he jogs to the door adjacent from the kitchen, one that I haven’t ventured to open after Mercedes announced it as the office. While he’s gone, I look around the kitchen that has become messier as the weeks have gone by. It was so clean when I got here, leading me to initially believing it wasn’t used, but now, I realize it must have been used by previous nannies.

“Okay, um, I found this old application, and here’s just some paper.” Kashton passes me several sheets that I set on the edge of the counter. “Sorry, I forgot a pen, hang on.”

“That’s okay, I have one.” I dig through my bag, grabbing a handful of long cylinders to see what I’ve managed to catch, and sift through several pieces of charcoal and a couple of pencils. I drop them back in my bag and fish again, grabbing a new handful that has several colored pencils, another piece of charcoal, and a pen. I hold on to the pen, drop the other items inside, and look up to see Kashton watching me.

“Kenzie said you go to PSU for art.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s cool. Do you practice art? Or are you learning about it?”

“Both.” I shift my weight so I can lean against the counter. “I’m studying art history as well as taking several classes with the creation of art and restoration.”

“No shit. Maybe I can see some of your work sometime? I keep wanting to have a mural done out in the shop.”

I smile because I can tell he’s saying this out of obligation, and turn my attention to the papers.

“You don’t have to fill them out now. Just get them back to me when you have the chance.”

“Alright, I’ll get them back to you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, I would appreciate it. Sorry to start your shift with this…”

“Don’t sweat it. I completely understand.”

He smiles and then rubs a hand over the back of his neck once more before he turns to head out the front door.

The Weight of Rain _10.jpg

“WHAT ARE you doing?”

Turning to Charleigh as she comes through the door of my studio apartment, I look over her outfit that is overdressed even for her. “Homework. What are you doing?”

“I thought we were going to that dollar cinema tonight for the three showings?”

I bring a hand to my face with a near silent groan. “Oh, Charleigh, I completely forgot! I’m sorry. Let me change really fast and we can go.”