I inhale a satisfied breath into the beaming sunshine as I continue watching the two of them goof around in the clear blue waters. I have to pinch myself to double check that this is my life I’m currently living in … that this is my life because I never knew happiness could be like this … so perfect.
We are on a week’s vacation to Hawaii and yesterday on this very same beach, with my daughter in the arms of Ashton and in front of Caleb and his boyfriend, Landon, I officially became Mrs. Ava Bailey. I wore a long, white flowing beach dress, with my hair falling loosely over my shoulders, and I married the love of my life for the second time. It was simple … yet perfect. I was surrounded with the only people who matter to me and I couldn’t have asked for more.
I continue to lie here on the lounger, my eyes never once straying from the two loves of my life. Being here with my family, drinking ridiculously delicious drinks made from fresh pineapples, and the sun shining down on me, this right here is my heaven … my nirvana. I’m deliriously happy and I wish my life could stay in this picture-perfect setting for the rest of my life. I know life doesn’t work that way, but right now I’m going to enjoy every minute of the good that life can bring.
Smiling, I stand on my bare feet and make my way over to Ashton and Lily. Ashton is the first to see me approach before Lily screeches, “Mommy!” at the top of her lungs. She wades her way through the water until she’s jumping into my arms.
“Hey, baby,” I say as I adjust her in my arms, the water from her body dripping onto my heated skin. “Wow, that water’s cold!” I shriek out animatedly for her benefit, causing her to sweetly giggle.
Ashton steps closer and looks at Lily with a mischievous grin on his face.
“Maybe Mommy needs to get wet, huh?” I smirk and find myself backing up from him and the devilish glint in his eyes. “I would love to get Mommy wet,” he says with a wicked smile, and I smack him lightly against his arm at the hidden innuendo. “Ashton!” I exclaim through laughter.
“What? I meant it in a totally innocent way … I promise.” Hmm, innocent my ass. Lily wriggles from my grasp and the moment her feet are imbedded in the wet sand she shouts, “Let’s wet Mommy!” And seconds later I’m being chased around the shore getting soaked by both Ashton and Lily. I can’t help but smile in this beautiful moment.
After a while of goofing around on the beach we bring an exhausted Lily back to the sun loungers, where she immediately passes out under the shade, gently snoring.
Ashton sits down on the twin lounger and without a moment’s thought I nuzzle myself between his legs, with my back to his chest and my head resting against his shoulder.
“Are you okay?” he asks pressing a gentle kiss against my earlobe. His hands trace the edge of my hips, his fingers playing loosely with the thread of my bikini bottoms.
“I’m perfect …” I sigh, feeling wonderful. I am so content right here, I feel like now is the perfect time to confess the secret I’ve been holding for almost a week. “I do have something to tell you though,” I begin a little hesitantly, my heartbeat beginning to pick up. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I know he’s going to be happy, but it’s just once he knows, it will become real and then my terrified, irrational thoughts will begin to consume my mind. I turn to face him and I can see the confusion in his eyes by the way his brows draw inwards. When I’m still silent and the words I need to say out loud are still on the tip of my tongue, Ashton says, “What is it? You look petrified.”
Here goes nothing …
Taking in a deep breath, I shakily say, “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes grow and his face breaks out in the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen.
“You’re pregnant?” he asks, not in shock but with excitement.
I gently nod as I shift my position so I’m kneeling in between his thighs. “Yeah …”
“Baby, this is amazing!” He slams his lips onto mine and my breath catches at the sudden contact. He quickly pulls away, his green eyes searching my own. When he notices that I’m not smiling, his own smile falters and understanding seems to ignite in his eyes.
“You’re scared,” he says as a statement rather than a question because he knows me and knows that pregnancy is a scary subject for me.
“I’m happy, I really am. I love that it’s your child growing inside me, but I’m petrified that I’m going to lose the baby or go into premature labor again. The thought of losing our baby…”
“Ava …” He brings both of his hands up to my face and gently caresses my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, capturing my stare with his. “I get that you’re scared, but this doesn’t have to be scary. We’ll be more prepared this time. As soon as we get home, we will consult with the best doctors across the country and make sure this pregnancy runs smoothly. You’re in the best hands possible, I promise.” He pauses for a brief moment to place a slow, delicate kiss against my lips. I take great comfort from his words and feel a little calmer than I did less than a minute ago. “When did you find out?”
“A couple of days before we left for Hawaii … I’ve been feeling a little sick lately, so I went to the doctor to get checked out and he confirmed that I was pregnant. He’s not sure how far along I am, but I have an appointment with the OB/GYN on Wednesday, so I’ll find out then.”
“We need to cancel it. I’ll get you in with Dr. Flanagan on Monday. She’s the best neonatal surgeon I know, and she’s a certified OB/GYN. I’ll give her a call later,” he says in a do-not-argue-with-me tone.
“Okay,” I say with a smile. Anybody else and I probably would have argued it, but since Ashton helped save Lily when she was born, his medical opinion is the only opinion I can trust, and if he says Dr. Flanagan is the best then I believe him.
He leans in closer and rests his head against mine. “We can do this, okay? It might not be easy but we can definitely do this.”
My smile grows as my fingers crawl into his wet hair, and I begin to massage his scalp as I focus on the deep green hues of his eyes. “We can do this,” I repeat with a certainty that eases my insecurities, and I’m finally able to feel excited at the prospect of bringing another human being into this world … mine and Ashton’s little human being.
“We’re having a baby,” I laugh excitedly and Ashton laughs along with me, clutching me tight to his body.
“We certainly are …” Ashton says just before he presses his lips back onto mine. We spend a few moments celebrating our news in the midst of a breathtaking kiss. He pulls away and what he does next will be etched in my mind until the day I die. Shifting on his knees, he gently smoothes his hand across my stomach before lowering his head, pressing a soft kiss against the center of my bare skin, inches away from where our tiny baby grows in the warmth of my uterus. “Hey baby, I’m your daddy,” he whispers against my stomach, causing moisture to well up in my eyes and happy tears to fall freely down my cheeks. “I can’t wait to meet you, and if you’re anything like your momma, you will be just as beautiful. Now, I don’t want you doing a Lily on us and coming early. You need to stay in there until you’re healthy and strong … but if you do decide to honor us with your presence earlier than planned, then we will fight along with you, just like we did with Lily. We will look after you. Everything will be okay, I promise.”
He places another tender kiss on my stomach. His loving touch has me sighing in content, my skin tingling from his deep affection for me. He stands tall on his knees and slides his fingers through my hair until both hands are resting at either side of my head.
“You’re amazing. Has anybody ever told you that?” I ask with a smile on my face.
He tilts his head to the side, regarding me with humor, giving me his signature smirk. “Yeah, a few times, but I never get tired of hearing it.”