I break her heart, too. And I’m about to again because the very minute we pull up to her driveway I see the beat-up blue Ford pickup and beside the driver’s door Carl Andrews is slapping the shit out of his kid. I see red and then blinding white.

Somehow, I throw the truck in park. Somehow I get out and get to Carl before he can land another blow to the back of his kid’s head.

They always hit you in the back of the head because marking your face up will get social services called. It’s like they have a special seminar for child abusers.

One minute I’m there, in the moment, and the next thing I know I’m transported back in time to when one of the dealers my mom used to let crash with us used me as a punching bag and Carl’s face transforms into his.

Devlan was his name and I was sure he was the devil himself.

I can hear her screaming from somewhere behind me. Begging me to stop.

I know it’s because of me, but I can’t stop.

I just can’t.

When the police pull me off Carl he isn’t moving.

And I can’t feel my hands.

17 | Dixie

“HE MADE BAIL. I had to call a bondsman,” I tell my brother over the phone. For the first time I’m grateful that Katrina Garrison got arrested during Austin MusicFest and I knew what to do because I’d gone with Gavin to bail her out.

“They’re going to charge him with assault,” Dallas says evenly. “He has an attorney from . . . previous stuff. I just talked to her.”

“Previous stuff?” After seeing the side of Gavin I saw tonight and now this, I feel like maybe I don’t know him at all. Maybe he’s always kept a part of himself hidden from me and I’m starting to understand why.

“Long story. And one he should tell you.”

I sigh. Bro code. Those two have always kept secrets from me for as long as we’ve known each other and, frankly, it’s getting old.

“According to the arresting officer, Carl regained consciousness in the ambulance and said Gavin had assaulted him before. Do you know anything about that?”

Dallas sighs loudly and I know I’m not going to get an answer.

I huff out a breath right back. “Look, I know you have the nursery to finish, and Robyn probably needs you, but I . . . I can deal with getting him out I just . . .”

“I’ll be there in under an hour. Promise.”

“Thanks, Dallas.”

“Hey, Dix?”

“Yeah?”

“Gavin’s hands . . . are they majorly fucked-up?”

It takes me a second to realize why this is even an issue worth discussing at a time like this. Musicians have to be careful with their hands, especially if they use them to make a living. They can be as important as any instrument.

We have only one more week until the battle, but if Gavin’s fingers or knuckles are broken, he won’t be a part of it.

“There was a lot of blood, D,” I whisper, closing my eyes and trying not to remember that terrifying look in his eyes as he pounded on Carl. I was able to get Liam out of the way but just barely. “I don’t know if it was his or Carl’s.”

My voice wavers at the end because the last few hours have been a complete draining nightmare.

Watching Gavin brutally attack another human being like that, watching the cops cuff him and put him in the back of the car, getting Mrs. Lawson to keep Liam while his dad is in the hospital. It hits me all at once when the adrenaline rush wears off and I am emotionally and physically exhausted.

As much as I know in my heart what Gavin did was wrong, I saw Carl hit Liam, saw the way Liam cowered in fear, and honest to God, I wanted to pummel the son of a bitch myself. I was torn between pulling Liam away and cheering Gavin on. Not sure what that says about me.

“Okay. Don’t worry about that right now. I’ll take him to get an X-ray when they release him. See you soon.”

I mumble goodbye to my brother and drop heavily into a metal folding chair. When we disconnect our call I see the time on my phone. It’s nearly one in the morning. I’ve been here for over four hours and I have no idea when they’re going to let him out.

“Here, sleepyhead,” I hear my brother’s voice say from beside me. “Drink this.”

I blink myself out of the nightmare I was having about Gavin being arrested only to find it wasn’t a nightmare at all. I’m still at the county jail but at least Dallas is here now. And he has coffee, good coffee from the all-night donut shop next door and not the crappy weak kind they have here.

He looks as tired as I feel and like he could use a shower and a shave.

“Sorry you had to come all this way,” I tell him. My voice sounds like that of a transvestite phone sex operator. Not that I know what they would sound like but I imagine it would be close to how I sound right now. I make a mental note to add that to the list of backup careers.

“Don’t be. I would’ve been super-pissed if you hadn’t called me.”

I give him a pointed look that he doesn’t seem to understand. “I caught a glimpse of the arresting officer’s computer screen while I was giving my statement. Gavin’s record was pulled up. This isn’t Gavin’s first rodeo and guess whose name is always on the bailed-out-by line?”

Except once. One of the times Gavin’s mom’s name was typed in, which makes me wonder if he owed her last time and that’s why he drove all the way here from Austin. I couldn’t decipher the exact things he’d been arrested for because they were in number codes but considering I never knew he’d gotten arrested, it hurt to see that he was in the system at all, regardless of what each time was for.

“It’s complicated, Dixie Leigh,” Dallas says before taking a long drink from his own coffee cup. “You were in Houston for most of it.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “The two of you are eventually going to tell me exactly what happened while I was gone.”

Dallas averts his gaze from mine.

“Dallas Walker Lark, I am serious. If we are going to do the band thing, for real, like one hundred percent all in, this keeping stuff from me for my own good has got to stop. Period.”

He nods and takes another drink. “So you’re still good with that? Giving it another shot and going all in?”

I nod. “You know I am. But on two conditions.”

Dallas’s eyes lighten a shade. “Name ’em.”

“One, you and Gavin have got to come clean about everything. Everything and anything I missed or that has been kept from me.”

Dallas’s eyes go dim. “Dix, I know you think that would help. Women typically do seem to assume they need every detail of every event ever, but trust me, there are things you are truly better off not knowing. Especially when it comes to Gavin.”

I want to argue, but I can’t unsee what I saw tonight. So maybe he has a point.

“But—”

“No buts. I’m sure he plans to tell you the bulk of it, but some details are just that, pointless details and mistakes that don’t matter. You have to learn to accept what he’s capable of giving and not torturing yourself over things that have nothing to do with you.”

“If it has to do with him, it has to do with me,” I say quietly.

My brother puts his arm around me and gives me a light squeeze. “I know it feels that way sometimes, but believe me, even if that’s true, it would kill him for you to know some of the things he’s done at his lowest points.”

“It’s killing me not knowing.”

My brother takes a deep breath and rests his head on mine. “I know, little sister. I’m sorry.”

The clack of heels rings out like gunfire on the tile floor. I glance around Dallas and see her, the owner of the heels and the purposeful walk.

Gavin’s complicated blonde.

She looks entirely too put together for nearly two in the morning with her white silk shirt and black dress pants. I can’t be sure because I can’t see the bottoms, but I’m almost positive her heels are Louboutins. Robyn has a similar pair.

“What is she doing here?” Maybe it’s exhaustion or sleep deprivation, but seeing her here now confuses me to no end.