I do. If I could stay cocooned in his arms forever, right here on the floor, I would. I feel safe, untouched by the evil world outside of this house. The moment I walk out of these doors I will become someone I’m not. Someone I will hate.

“Just leave them on the porch,” I hear him say before turning to me.

“That was Priscilla. She has all your stuff.”

His voice is low, unsure even, when he speaks next.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I give a slight shake of my head.

“Not right now.”

My eyes are still closed. I know they’re swollen from all the crying I’ve done. My breathing is delicate and light. My ears keep hearing over and over again the things my loved ones said. There’s an unpleasant taste in my mouth. All of my senses are screaming at me.

“All right then. Will you at least look at me?”

Rough fingertips start to stroke my cheek. A flash runs through my mind of him using these hands that feel so good across my skin to steal, hand over guns to people who use them to kill. I shiver.

“Calla. Look at me.”

It’s more of a demand than a statement. He thinks I’m fragile. In a way I am, but not in the way he thinks, though. My heart has been stomped on and bled dry. But here’s the thing; it’s what terrifies me the most. I am a lot more like my father than any of us can begin to comprehend.

When I do look at Cain, it’s as if these past six years never existed and we were never apart. But we were. How can you feel a pull so strongly towards someone when in reality you never knew them at all? How can you love someone so much after being separated for as long as we have, and at the same time want to gouge their eyes out? It’s a riddle I will never be able to solve. A puzzle that will always be missing the last piece no matter how hard I try to find it.

“We have a lot more things to talk about, you and I. You tell me when. If it’s too much for you to handle and you don’t want to know any more, then we can leave it at that until I find Kryder. The one thing I do want to tell you is, I fucking love you so much it hurts. I’ve hurt every day since you walked out of my life. It’s killing me that you found any of this out and that it’s been shoved in your face all at once. You seem so fragile and yet so strong at the same time. Your dad speaks the truth, you know?”

“I know.”

Cain pushes the hair away from my face. The way he looks at me as if trying to define whether I’m real or not sends an indescribable tingle to the one place that shouldn’t be tingling at all. The place that is still sore from our reconnection. I keep telling myself over and over that I don’t know him anymore, but does it really matter if I do or not? Not to me, it doesn’t. I’ve never been one to give a damn what other people think of me. I’m sure a lot of people around here think I’m crazier than a lady with a hundred cats. I don’t care.

“It’s just a shock, a blow right to the center of my gut knowing he kills people,” I say, picking up our conversation again.

“He loves you, Calla. So does your mom. They never wanted you to know. At least, not this way.”

“Well, I know now, don’t I? What I don’t know is how this Kryder guy fits into all of this. Or Manny. Dad said he didn’t have a choice, either.”

Cain lets a whoosh out of his lungs.

“You sure you want to know?” he asks, speaking as if what he has to say could break me more than what I’ve already heard.

“If it’s the last of the big, gut-punching hits, then yes.”

“Like I told you, Kryder deals drugs. I don’t do drugs. I despise them. The asshole wouldn’t listen, so he’s gone. We kicked him out.”

“And he knows about the weapons and the mob?”

His sexy lips curve up in a smile.

“He does now. He didn’t before.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sweetheart. What I mean is, he put a hit out on my wife. The niece of Salvatore Diamond. The daughter of a man who can silence you without the person sleeping next to you realizing he’s there.”

My spine goes ramrod straight.

“Holy shit. So my dad put a hit on him? That’s why he’s in hiding. He’s scared. He knows he screwed up.”

“Now she’s getting the picture!” he says, lifting his face to the ceiling for a moment. “That’s why we have Manny on you. To keep you safe. We’ve been trying to find him before he finds you.”

“This is like a nightmare. Worse, even. This is a war,” I whisper.

He begins to caress my cheek once again. The effect of his hand stroking my face is relaxing. I could easily fall asleep like this. I just want to slip into my own world and process all that has happened today.

“And Manny?” I ask.

He hesitates for a moment too long.

“Shit.”

The way he said the word shit sends a nauseous sensation to my stomach, without me even knowing why, I can already feel this is going to be another blow to my heart. Another chunk of my chest cut open. I come to my senses and jerk away from him, standing up.

He’s looking at me with pity. I hate pity. It’s the worst emotion ever. Pity is for the weak, and considering everything I have found out and overcome in the past day and a half, the last damn thing I want is pity.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I grit out. “I’m not a charity case. I fell apart once and I refuse to do it again, so tell me, what does Manny have to do with this?”

“Calla... Manny’s your cousin. He’s Salvatore’s son.”

Chapter Thirteen

Cain

I’ve studied her face for the past two hours. Watched it go from happy to sad, to pain and betrayal. There are no words, nothing to try and describe the look on her face right now. I couldn’t muster up a word to save my ass right now. I do the only thing I know. I go to her. Fold her into my arms. Soothing her, my hands smoothing down her messy hair.

“I’m not sure what to do or say here,” I murmur, speaking into her hair.

“I don’t know what to say, either. For my entire life, my parents always put me first. I know they love me, and that they want me safe and happy, but this... this doesn’t make me happy. Nor does it make me feel safe. It makes me feel furious and hateful. It’s like the two people who helped mold me into who I am are not the people I thought they were. They’re strangers, not my parents. And my dad... I just don’t understand how he could do what he does. I don’t know what any of you expect of me now.”

The sound of her voice is flat and dull, and her body quivers in my arms. She needs time. How much time, is up to her. Until then, I will give her the space she needs and try to come up with a plan to get us both away from here to a place where she can relax. Ease her mind. Fuck, I don’t know what the hell to do.

She’s my top priority. Once I know she can handle the things she’s learned, then only time will tell if she’s willing to lead this kind of life, the life on the other side of the tracks she was just referring to. She’s the one who has to step over into unknown territory and give up her dream of being on the right side of the law.

Calla has to choose. Her family or her freedom. Those are her only two options. If she decides she can’t live her life knowing the things we do and learn to accept them, then I have to let her go. I’m going right in this fork in the road. She could go left, and I would never stop loving her, always being there in the background making sure she’s safe. My love for her is unconditional. It will exist forever. The thought of her marrying someone else, building a life with someone else, is unfathomable to me. I’d rather die than lose her.

I lightly brush my lips across her forehead and down her flushed face to the sensitive corners of her eyes. The bridge of her nose. I do all this while holding her delicate face in the palms of my hands. Reaching her lips, I make sure the pressure I apply on them is not demanding, but friendly and understanding. She sighs and kisses me back tenderly.