It’s hard as hell not to let my fingers run over her smooth skin. Trace the outline of those lips I have missed so much. What I wouldn’t do to be able to lean in and kiss her, suck in her oxygen so I could feel like I’m truly breathing for the first time in six years. I love her so much this is killing me. That’s right. I fucking love this woman, and here I sit hurting her, abusing her over and over again.

I look down again in disgust. I’ve never wanted anything in my life, except her. For her to love me. To think about me all day long, counting down the hours until we can be together. For her face to light up the minute I walk through the door. To just be able to be with her, hear her laugh. See her smile. To touch her. Hold her. Hear her say good morning, good night, and I love you, all the things most couples in society take advantage of. Those are my wants, but I’m afraid after all of this is said and done, those wants will become a distant fantasy.

I have a damned mole around here. They’ve most likely already told that pussy ass Kryder she’s here, which means she needs to stay by my side. We can both pretend all we want that we hate each other. Let everyone believe it. But behind these walls, or whenever we are alone, I will prove to her how much she means to me. How much I love her above anyone or anything else.

I’m not dumb enough to believe they will think it, but Calla needs to believe that if the mole thinks I don’t give two shits about her, then Kryder will stay the hell away from her and so will whoever he has working on the inside. It may be the one thing that will save her life.

She needs to stay here and keep acting like she hates me, like this is the last place she wants to be. The trick is, she has to do it my way and listen to me. She should have never come back here, damn it. I should send her away. Call her dad and tell him to come and get her.

Can a person truly loathe themselves, I wonder? Self-hate is a dark hole, known by me best of all. I’m nothing but the man I’ve created for myself. A man left with my own thoughts for years. I’ve dug my own grave by not being the husband Calla deserves. All I’ve done, I’ve done for her, but right now, it’s best that she thinks I’m nothing but a rotten prick.

  The way she pummeled Emerald, though, I can see she’s one strong woman. I stood there and could not move, my eyes not believing how she just flipped her around and punched her repeatedly in the face without a second thought. Yeah, my dick twitched like a happy camper watching her fist connect with Emerald’s jaw. She deserved it, the stupid, trouble-making slut, for spouting off a bunch of lies.

I chuckle to myself. Calla can hold her own, especially after what I saw tonight. She sure doesn’t need to toughen up; she’s got that handled. She actually needs to calm the hell down and hold her shit in when these bitches talk smack to her. Not everyone will go down as easy as Emerald did. I’ve fucked every single one of the women who hang out around here, and left all of them wanting more. All of them knowing they will never get more.

All of them, except Emerald. She already thinks I’m hers. I’ve never been hers; I’ve always belonged to the woman who’s sitting across from me. Who’s in my home.

Even though I know the truth of who he is, it still gutted me to the core seeing Manny getting to comfort her. That man, friend, family, or not, is going to have to keep his hands to himself. No one touches what belongs to me. Never. And she definitely belongs to me. If I ever hear the word ‘divorce’ come out of her mouth again, I’m going to lose my shit. Tell her to eat shit. And to fuck that shit.

Enough of the pep talk. I need to move on and get this done.

“You need to listen to me,” I begin harshly. “If you don’t do exactly what I tell you to do, I’m going to be calling your parents and telling them to plan your damn funeral, because that smart mouth of yours is going to end up getting you killed.”

I lift my face to hers to show her I mean what I say, and nearly come undone at what I see.

I’m tortured watching her eyes well up with tears. Her shirt is ripped, exposing her lacy, nude-toned bra with her plump breasts spilling out over the top. That sexy-as-hell skirt has ripped halfway up her leg. This is goddamned cruel. Even though she’s a mess, she’s still so damn beautiful. Fucking perfect, even with makeup all over her face. There’s even a smudge of dirt on her cheek. I’d give anything to reach up and wipe it clean. To see her smile.

When she simply nods her head, I have never hated myself more than I do right now.

Good. This is how she needs to be; scared and utterly frightened. I’m about to thrust her into a vortex, and I pray like hell that her time in law school has turned her into one hell of a dangerous shark, because she sure as hell needs to be a tough ass bitch to handle this life.

God, I’m a sick fuck for doing this. There is no way in hell she will ever forgive me once this is done. If it wasn’t for the fact that someone has a hit out on her, I would drag this shit out as long as I possibly could just to keep her near me. The minute this is over she’ll be gone, leaving me no choice but to let her divorce me. Hell, she may even kill me herself.

Her lips stop quivering, her gaze going down to her hands resting in her lap. I extend my arm out to her and she flinches. Christ, she thinks I’m going to hit her. And even though her thinking I’m that big of an asshole falls right in with my plans, it makes me feel like shit.

I need to move away from her before I do something stupid like pulling her into my arms. I get up and move to a chair on the opposite side of the room, gather my thoughts, and prepare to tell her every damn thing, starting with the part that needs to make her fear for her life.

“There’s a hit out on you, Calla.”

I say it without warning, giving nothing to soften the blow. I sit here and watch her shake, her face contorting into a look of astonishment and confusion, making me feel like I’ve been kicked in the teeth.

“The man who killed my father found out about you a few years back, and he’s been looking for you ever since. He knows you’re the one thing he can break me with. The only person left who I truly care about. He wants you dead.”

She opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, then she closes it just as quickly.

“I have a rat in my club, someone who told this shady, no good asshole about you, and I haven’t been able to find out who. I’ve had everyone in this place followed, had everyone checked out. You name it, I have done it, and I’ve come up with nothing. Not a damn thing. I’m no closer to finding out today than I was a few years ago when this all came to light. That’s why when you showed up I decided to keep you here, where I can be the one to take care of you and not Manny.”

Her look of disgust tells me she already knows he’s been watching her for me. I can’t be angry with him, though; I owe him more than anyone for taking care of her and keeping her safe. He’s reported to me daily about her every move; however, now that Calla is here, I will be telling him to stay out of my business. The little shit is trustworthy, but he needs to keep his big mouth shut more often.

“So you found out about Manny. I know you better than you think, so I’m not going to get into it right now with you, but now you know why I have so much information about you. I did what I had to do to make sure no one located you, and he’s the only one I fucking trust.”

I harden my voice when I continue, demanding her full attention.

“Now, here’s the part where you really need to listen to every word I say, and I am not screwing around about it anymore. You don’t have to want to be here, but you’re going to be. You may as well get used to seeing a lot of me. It’s the way it’s going to be, whether you like it or not. I get the fact that you have no clue how shit works around here. Like I said before, I don’t do drugs. I loathe them. They’re the reason that fucker killed my dad and Darcy. There’s also a lot of women who hang out here. They like the bikes, they like the men. They respect us. We respect them. We fuck. No strings attached, unless someone makes it that way. I’ve been with every one of them.”