And the woman in his arms was the one who’d forced him to realize it.

Chapter Eighteen

Alexis woke up wrapped around Luke. It was a really nice place to be. She took the opportunity to study his sleeping face. His beard was a little longer, and he looked tired even while sleeping, but some of the tension that had become so familiar was gone. It made sense. He’d been carrying around a burden to rival hers for a long time. It was enough to make her shake her head. Someone would have to search to find two people as messed up as they were. And yet…they seemed to fit each other.

Maybe all a person needed was someone to stop long enough to try to really understand where they’d come from.

Luke had done that and more—he’d given her back a part of herself she’d been searching for. And maybe, just maybe, she’d done a little of the same for him. She reached up and cupped his jaw, sliding her hand over the scruff. He opened his eyes. “You were watching me sleep.”

“Guilty as charged.”

He stretched beneath her and yawned. “I guess I can live with that.”

The train chose that moment to slow, nearly toppling her off his lap. Luke caught her before she fell and lifted her back onto the bed. “We’re almost there.”

She looked out the window, her eyes widening when she caught sight of… “Canals. We’re in Venice?”

“I figured Verona could wait a few days, since Venice is on the way. New experiences, remember?”

“This trip is full of them.” She accepted her bag when he passed it over and slipped on her jacket. Then she followed him toward the same door they’d come in. The early-morning sun hit her face, and she couldn’t help smiling. “This is amazing. I’ve only read about this place in one of the many travel books I’ve checked out over the years. Thank you, Luke.”

He took her hand. “Bri must be delighted that one of the Yeung sisters actually darkens the door of the library from time to time.”

The world took a slow turn, and reality slammed into her hard enough to steal her breath. She looked at him, willing the words to have not just come out of his mouth. But Luke only looked at her with an expectant expression, waiting for her reply. She took her hand from his and stumbled away. “You…”

“Darlin’, what’s wrong?”

Everything. She could barely hear him over the pounding in her head. All the times she’d thought his story didn’t quite line up and convinced herself she was being paranoid. She’d been right all along. The only way he could know that Bri ran the library back in Wellingford was if he knew Ryan. Luke moved to take her hand, but she backed out of reach. “Don’t touch me.”

“Alexis, what’s wrong?”

He hadn’t even realized his slip. A small, traitorous part of her wanted to keep her mouth shut and cling to what they had. But she’d be clinging to a lie, and she’d learned the hard way that the truth would use the first opportunity to rise up and punch her in the throat just like it’d done so many times before. Accusations flew to her lips, driven by an anger she clung to because the only other option was to face the all-encompassing loss threatening to take over. “Ryan asked you to come, didn’t he?” It was the only option. No one else in their group had the military background and contacts to call in a favor like this.

Luke went still and then closed his eyes. “Shit.”

Any hope that she’d had of being wrong disappeared as his shoulders slumped. It was true. Ryan and Drew and her sister hadn’t trusted her enough to let her do this alone. That hurt almost as much as the realization that Luke had been lying to her this entire time. “How do you know him?”

He opened his eyes. “We were PJs together.”

The bottom of her stomach dropped out. He wasn’t even a goddamn Marine. Had anything he said over the last week actually been true? “Wow.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get this out of control.”

“That’s the best you have? When were you going to tell me the truth?” She took another step back. “When I asked you to meet my family and friends? Or were you just going to smile and pretend they hadn’t sent you to keep me in line? God, you’re such a damn liar.”

“You were going to invite me home with you?” He shook his head as if trying to clear it. “Just hold on.” He held up his hands, but didn’t try to approach. “I meant what I said last night and this morning.”

“What part? The part where you said you wanted more with me? Or the part where I’m worth more than a womb?” Tears clogged her throat, but she refused to let them free. It was a lie. Her independence. Her freedom. Her actually starting to feel like she might have found the missing part of herself. All of it. “Did Ryan tell you exactly what to say to make me feel like I was actually accomplishing something over here? You must have gotten a good laugh over it.”

“I didn’t do shit except chase after you. You did the rest yourself.”

“You mean babysit. Did he tell you to sleep with me, too? It must have been difficult to get over your distaste for the spoiled little princess long enough to get me into bed. You really took one for the team.” She’d thought she experienced heartbreak when Eric sat her down to tell her it was over.

It was nothing compared to this.

Luke’s mouth went tight. “Enough, Alexis. We can talk this out.”

She jerked back, feeling like he’d reached out and slapped her. Stop it. Stop it right now before you say something you can’t take back. But it was too late. Hurt and betrayal welled up inside her, taking over, until she could barely look him in the face. “Ryan wasn’t just babysitting me when he called you in. Two birds, one stone, Luke.”

He flinched, some of the warmth draining out of his eyes. “You took your fate into your own hands, and you succeeded. This self-pity bullshit isn’t hurting anyone but yourself.”

The need to strike out, to expel some of this horrible feeling in her chest, was overwhelming. It was all a lie. “Don’t hold back. Tell me what you really think. Though my so-called self-pity can’t stand against yours.”

His mouth tightened. “There’s the spoiled little princess again, throwing a tantrum because the world isn’t how she thought it should be.”

God, it was a miracle she could keep breathing past the pain. “Better than sitting around, nursing old hurts. At least I tried to move on with my life. You’re—you’re happy being miserable.” She couldn’t do it anymore. If she stood here a second longer, she was going to burst into tears, and he didn’t deserve to see that he affected her enough to cry. “Good-bye, Luke. I’d say it was nice knowing you, but all it did was confirm what I knew the moment I saw you. You’re an arrogant asshole with a bad attitude.”

“Keep walking, princess. That’s what you do, isn’t it? Run away when things get hard.”

It’s not being a coward if I have to flee to keep from throwing myself in your arms and begging you to make it all okay. But it would be a lie—the last in a long line of many. She deserved better than that. And he deserved better than to be tied with a woman he’d only followed around as a favor to a former squad mate.

Luke let her go. He stood there and watched her walk away, disappearing into the crowd on the train platform. It wasn’t so easy to banish her words. He tried to dredge up some anger, annoyance, anything to avoid dealing with the gaping wound opening up inside him, but it wouldn’t come.

Of course she couldn’t wait around long enough to actually talk about this. She’d gotten some news she didn’t like and taken off. Just like she always did.

He shook his head. That reasoning didn’t stick anymore, not now that he knew her. She might have run from Wellingford, but she’d put up with a lot of shit before she did. And she was right—he’d been floating angrily through life since the IED went off. But he’d been about to start making changes. She inspired that.