“No, Nate, you weren’t.” I rubbed both of my thumbs over the top of his hand, loving the moment but also wanting to get past it because I could tell it was upsetting him. “My first choice was me.”

   I powered on because I had so much to say to him that I couldn’t risk him butting in.

   “For so long, I’d been everyone’s second choice, just like you said. Then, you came along and you showed me what it was like to have someone see me first, to see me and make no qualms about wanting me. You were sweet and nice and such a great kisser.” I blushed a little, but then linked my fingers with his, smiling when he didn’t pull away, but gave me a gentle squeeze.

   “I wanted all of that – wanted you – but knew it wasn’t the right time or the right situation. That next night, after we talked, I went to Devon and we finally both ended everything between us. Not that there ever was anything, really. But we just couldn’t do it anymore. He needed to move on with his life, and I needed to start mine, because I never really had. So, I left. I wanted to reach out to you, but I knew it wasn’t right. I couldn’t make you sit around and wait for me, especially when I had planned, from that moment on, to focus on me, on what I needed. And the last thing I needed back then was a man.” I smiled at him, hoping he understood.

   “But never in a million years did I expect to see you again, Nate. And I’ll never be able to explain the way it felt when I saw you last night. It means so much to me that you came – no matter the reason behind it – it’s the best thing anyone has ever done for me.”

   Our eyes were locked and his looked slightly worried and troubled.

   I watched as his free hand slowly came across his body, gently finding my cheek, his fingers sliding back into my hair just slightly.

   “And what about now, Lyn?” My eyes automatically closed at the feeling of his fingers floating over my skin. “Are you still your own first choice?” His words were whispered, and his hand put gentle pressure on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. His hand, which was clasped in mine, pulled loose and traveled slowly up the side of my thigh.

   I nodded. “I have to be. No one else is going to put me first if I don’t.”

   “What if,” he said, his voice wavering just a little as his hand slid even higher up my thigh, then rounding up over my ass. “What if I told you I was interested in ranking a close second?”

   “I’d say,” I breathed, our faces only inches apart, “the position is all yours.”

   Our lips met in the slowest collision. When his mouth was finally pressed up against mine, I could do nothing to keep the relief from coming out of me in a moan. Granted, I never thought I’d see the man again, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t spent nights thinking about kissing him under that waterfall.

   I’d missed kissing, sure. But I hadn’t realized until that moment how much I missed kissing him.

   Then, suddenly, we lost ourselves. I was climbing over him, straddling his legs, pulling his mouth to mine as if I could fuse him to me. His hands were roaming all over me, groping me over my dress, groaning as he squeezed the fleshiest parts of me.

   After minutes of making out like teenagers, I felt him pull away and my lips felt like the rug had been pulled out from under them.

   “I’m sorry, Lyn, I didn’t mean to attack you like that. God, I’m sorry. You must think I’m an ass. I’ve been thinking about you for two years now, and all day today, and then you came downstairs in this dress,” he said the last words as he ran his hands over my ass again. “I’m sorry,” he said again, removing his hands.

   “Nate, I climbed on your lap,” I laughed. “You’re not the only one who wants this.” I bent low again, trying to coax his lips to come back to mine, but he pulled back again.

   “I don’t want you to think this is why I came here.”

   With those words, I pulled back even farther, trying to read him, trying to understand his hesitation.

   “I’ve been thinking about you for so long. I dated a few women, but none of them compared to the woman I took on that hike, who lit up when a camera was in her hands. Who loved two children so dearly who weren’t even hers. Who missed her best friend but did everything she could to carry out her last wishes. This isn’t about sex, Lyn. Although, I can’t deny that I want you. But, for me at least, this is way more than just sex.”

   My eyes darted back and forth between his, looking for some indication as to how to take his words.

   “So, you don’t want to do this?” I asked, my eyes drifting down to where our bodies were connected, yet still clothed. I could tell part of him wanted to continue.

   His hands came to rest near my knees, a much safer place than my ass had been. I felt my heart deflate a little at the movement. I wanted him. I found myself unwilling to deny that fact, and also proud of myself for not shying away from sex. I’d spent a good portion of my life denying myself the pleasure of sharing my body with a man because the man was Devon.

   “God, I want you, Lyn,” he said, squeezing my legs with his hands. “But I want more than just sex.”

   “What more do you want?” I asked breathily, my heart rate spiking.

   “I want you. I want us. We never got a real shot the first time – nothing was right then. But I want a second chance.”

   “You live very far away,” I whispered, moving my hands up his arms, loving the way the cotton of his shirt slid along my skin. I wasn’t denying him, not in the slightest, I just wanted to make sure he knew what he was getting into.

   “There are planes, and Skype, and FaceTime. It’ll be difficult, but it’s got to be better than the last two years of only imagining what it would be like.”

   “It’s got to be only me, Nate.” My voice was suddenly serious. I hadn’t meant for it to sound cold, but when the words escaped from me, they needed attention. “I won’t be with someone who is also seeing someone else. I want to make someone, you, my priority, and I want that in return.”

   “You want me all to yourself?” he asked, a smile now spreading over his previously troubled face.

   “Yes,” I whispered. “And for the last two years I’ve been working so hard on myself, I want to give you all of that as well.”

   “I get the new and improved Lyn?” His smile grew even wider.

   “If you’ll have me.”

   Then, for just one moment, I was struck with panic. I panicked because for most of my life the person I loved wouldn’t have me, and the one person who would, never knew the real me. This was the first time I’d come, essentially bare, stripped down and real, and offered myself to someone. And he could easily say no.

   My breath was stalled, my skin vibrating with the agony of waiting for his response.

   “I won’t just have you,” he said, bringing his hands to the back of my neck and pulling me down to his mouth, “I’ll keep you this time.”

   I smiled as our mouths met, and the butterflies in my belly took flight again.

   My smile quickly disappeared when Nate’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist, lifted me, and lay me on the couch, his body fitting over mine. One foot was on the floor, his other knee wedged between my body and the back of the couch, keeping the brunt of his weight off me. But I could feel the pressure and the heat pressing me down into the couch, and it was wonderful. I wanted to feel everything: every breath he took, every move he made. I wanted to be fully present.

   We kissed and my hands started to wander, wanting to familiarize themselves with him, wanting to touch and feel him. I managed to squeeze them between us and started working on the buttons of his black shirt. I pulled his shirt free from his pants at the same time, slowly peeling back the only layer of fabric between my hands and his chest.