Изменить стиль страницы

“Please, just leave me alone.”

For a moment, he looked like he was going to try and say something else, but in the end, all he did was nod. He shoved his hands into his pockets as I turned away.

I couldn’t fall apart.

Not yet.

Not with my families' lives at stake. My heart could wait.

Chapter 8

Toni

I could still feel his eyes on my back as I closed myself inside the guest room they'd given me last night. My suitcase still lay open, propped on a stand I’d found in the closet. I hadn’t put everything away. On some level, I must have had an idea that this wasn't going to work out.

“How many times are you going to let him hurt you like this?” I whispered.

To be fair, I hadn’t exactly intentionally set out to let him get to me like this at all today. But something about him just brought it out in me.

Further proof that I needed to get out of here.

“You know better than this,” I said, sighing. The sound came out wet and broken, the tears I was fighting edging closer and closer. I didn’t have time for tears. I had to pack. Call a cab. Get out of here without Ash trying to stop me. I didn’t know if he still would, but I had to do it while this hurt was still looming large in my mind. If I waited too long, I might forget how bad the ache was, or get needy and desperate. And stupid.

Everybody had a right to be an idiot once in their lives, I supposed. My brothers had all done it. Vic more than once. And if I started counting relationships in there...Deacon and Franky might've married great women and hadn't dated much before them, but Kory and Vic more than made up for it.

Considering how the past two weeks had gone, I was going to write this off as my idiot time. Between the finals I'd missed and papers I'd turned in late, not to mention the fiasco of missing my class earlier this week, I was sure pretty much everyone who knew me would agree I'd been an idiot.

It didn’t take more than ten minutes to re-pack what little I'd gotten out, and just as I was closing my suitcase, somebody knocked.

I ignored it.

I had no desire to talk to Ash again although he’d probably just barge in anyway. I should've just locked it. A moment later, the door opened and I clenched my jaw as ugly words boiled up my throat. I spun to yell at him, except it was Isadora who slid inside.

She looked at me, then at the suitcase. “You’re leaving,” she said, her voice calm.

“Damn straight.” My voice was husky, but level. Looking into her concerned eyes, I made up my mind. “I’m also quitting. If you need me to work two weeks for official notice, I will. But I’d rather not. I’m sorry.”

Her lips pursed, and she sighed. “This hasn’t exactly been the easiest way to start out a new job, has it?”

“Oh, the job was wonderful.” I hurried to reassure her. I didn't want her thinking any of this was her fault. “I really enjoyed working with you. It's just...” I let my voice trail off.

“I know.” She moved deeper into the room, tugging her pale ivory shawl more closely around her shoulders. “Do you hate him?”

“What...no.” I wished I could though. Turning away from her, I levered my suitcase off the bed. “I’d like to, but no. And it's not all...I'm down to the wire with my classes and I’m barely able to concentrate. I missed an important class a couple days ago because I was so tired, I slept through my alarm. And I missed another class yesterday.”

Looking defeated, she settled down in the chair. “You’ve worked so hard. I can't let you put any of that at risk. But is now the best time to leave? It’s not safe. You know that.”

“I’ll go to a hotel.” I shrugged. I hadn't really thought further ahead than getting away from Ash. “I’ll order in pizza and watch movies. When it’s time for class...” I frowned. “There's campus security. Or I'll talk to my brothers. Vic'll come with me. I'll be okay.”

“Toni, please.” She had a pleading tone in her voice.

I shook my head and hoped she couldn't see the tears in my eyes. “I–I can’t. I can’t be around him, Iz. It's just too hard.”

Chapter 9

Ash

The door closed softly behind my sister, but the sound echoed in my head.

I was still sitting on the stairs, looking at absolutely nothing when somebody came out. My head jerked up and my heart leaped.

I was half-way to my feet when I realized it wasn’t Toni. Isadora bore down on me with a look of complete and utter disgust on her face. The sight of something so foreign on her face caught me off guard, and I found myself backing up a half step before I realized what I was doing.

“You’re an idiot. And an asshole!”

I almost looked around, sure that my baby sister couldn't be talking to me like that. Her voice was harsh, almost unrecognizable, and I suddenly realized that her eyes were glittering with tears.

Shit.

“What are you doing?” she demanded.

“Iz...”

“You know what, just don't.” She held up her hand. “Do you know what she’s doing in there? She’s leaving, Ash. Leaving. She's putting herself in danger because she can’t even stand to be around you.”

“Like hell she is!” The words popped out of me before I could stop them. I started to step past Isadora.

“You can’t stop her,” she said as she grabbed my arm.

“If I have to tie her to a fucking chair––”

“Like they did to me?” Isadora said, her voice flat.

I went still, shock freezing me. “No...” I had to clear my throat. “Iz, no. Not like that. I just...I want her safe. I need her safe.”

“And she wants her family safe. You can’t control everything, Ash. But because you can't seem to get that through your thick head, we're going to lose Toni.” She glanced back toward Toni’s closed door. “Look, I know you never got over Lily leaving you like she did. But Toni isn’t Lily. Nobody is.”

“Iz, don’t.” I shook my head. I didn't want to think about Lily.

“Look, I know she broke your heart, and that you hate not knowing what happened to her. I tried to find her for you, tried to find out why she'd...”

“She didn't love me.”

Isadora shook her head. “You don't know that. I found out that her things were moved out of her apartment by a moving company. No one's seen her since...”

“She wrote me a letter.”

My sister's eyes widened, then narrowed. “She what?”

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “A couple weeks after she left, I got a letter in the mail. No postmark, nothing I could use to try to find her. But after I read what she wrote, I didn't want to find her.” I worked to keep my voice flat, emotionless. “She said that she couldn't lie to me anymore, that she didn't love me. She never had. She was just using me.”

Isadora was silent for a moment, and then her expression hardened.

“So what?”

I blinked.

She continued, “You’ve judged every woman you’ve met based on Lily and what she did, and it’s unfair. You’re going to lose the best thing that's ever happened to you because some woman broke your heart years ago? You're not just an asshole. You're a stupid asshole.” She took a step towards me and poked me hard in the chest. “If you lose Toni because of Lily, you deserve to spend the rest of your life alone and miserable.”