39

Wednesday had not slept. She lay on the piece of hard-board that was her bed and watched the dawn filter weakly through the cracks in her cardboard house. She heard the children outside getting ready for school. She heard the baby crying opposite. She knew that right now she would usually be watching Maya sleeping soundly beside her, and she would get up first and light the stove ready to make them tea and heat water for rice. There was only work for Wednesday to get up for now. Her eyes were sore; her breathing hurt in her chest; her stomach ached for her child. Her whole life was pointless without Maya. The love for her child was the only love Wednesday had ever known. She did not remember the mother who had sold her to the Colonel. She had no memories of any affection. She had grown up sitting on the Colonel’s lap, sleeping in his bed. She was like a lap dog. One night the rage overtook him and when Wednesday awoke the sheets were covered in her blood and her stomach was agony. He had drugged and raped her. From that moment on she was no longer his pet. Wednesday was sold to a Japanese man with tattoos all over his body. He had been horrible to her—he had shouted at her and beaten and raped her until she learned what she had to do. She had to crawl on her hands and knees to him and tell him that she was his dirty little Filipina, she was not worthy of him. Then he would show her some gentleness.

After the Japanese came the old Caucasians, the young ones, the blacks, the whites, the Asians, and anyone else who could pay. Wednesday lost count of how many she had sex with and she lost all hope…until the day when Father Finn banged on the Dutchman’s door and rescued her from his bed. Until that day Wednesday had thought her heart was dead. But when Father Finn had picked her up and marched out of there with her under his arm, he had changed her life forever and showed her what it was to care for another person, to risk for another and to open your heart and love another. On the first night she had sat with the other children at the refuge she had known her life was just beginning. It was the happiest she had ever been. She learned to play. She learned to laugh. Father Finn was her world. He was a hero to her. He taught her to read and write. He told her how smart she was and made her believe she could be anything she wanted. The Father was always telling her she could stay at the refuge as long as she liked, and she would have done, had she not discovered she was pregnant. She had no idea who the father might be. She had only just begun to have periods and had not known to use contraception. She felt her stomach grow hard and become round and she knew she could not spoil it all now. She felt the shame of it. She had to get rid of it. She knew the Father would never agree to an abortion. She knew he would want her to have the baby. But this was Wednesday’s chance of life. She had to get rid of the baby. She ran home to Davao, to a woman in the Barrio Patay whom everyone knew as an abortionist. But Wednesday’s flight was in vain. When she lay on the woman’s floor, her legs open and the woman’s fingers inside her, she felt the baby flutter. Wednesday knew it was too late for an abortion now. The baby was calling to her. It knew it had a mama and Wednesday knew she was it. Now she prayed with all her heart that Father Finn could be her hero again and rescue her baby.

She sat on the edge of the bed. It was then she heard the clamour from outside in the alleyways. Someone was calling her name. A small boy that she knew as Pepe was standing at her doorway.

‘What do you want, Pepe? Is it washing for your mama?’

He shook his head. ‘I have a message for you.’

‘Who from?’

‘A man stopped me—a Kano. He said I was to tell you something.’ Pepe hovered at the door. ‘He told me I was to say that you must go to Angeles, the Colonel is waiting and he has your daughter.’

‘Aye!’ Wednesday clutched her fists to her chest. ‘Maya? He has Maya?’

Pepe nodded.

‘What else did he say? You must try and remember everything, Pepe,

please

…’

The boy rolled his eyes skyward as he tried to recollect word for word what the Kano had said.

‘He said tell her to come alone—no priests. If you come with priests he will slit her throat.’

40

Maya pushed back the hair that fell over her eyes. It was morning and she knew that she should wash her face and brush her hair. She knew her mummy would not let her look like she did. She could see the bathroom but she had to wait for the Kano to come and unlock her cage, then she would carefully carry the bucket from the back of her cell and empty it in the toilet. She pushed her hair back and tried to make it stay behind her ears. She missed Rosie. She knew it was her own fault that they had got caught. She had known the Kano was coming but she didn’t want to leave Rosie’s side and so the Kano had seen her and he had beaten her and put her in the cage. Maya’s cage was opposite the bathroom. It was four foot deep and three foot wide. At the back of it the cockroaches ran. The Kano came twice a day. He brought her food. Maya had to reach through the bars to get it—the Kano put it too far for her, so that just her fingertips could touch it. It hurt her arms to stretch so far. He shouted at her in English. Maya did not understand what he was saying. She had only learned a few words in English. She could count to ten and sing a song called ‘London Bridge’ and she could tell someone that she was from the Philippines and that her name was Maya. Every day the big Kano came into her cell and poked her with the buzzy stick. The pain was worse than the jellyfish that had stung her when she went swimming with her mother. Afterwards her teeth hurt and her bones ached. She shivered. She tried to hold thoughts in her head for as long as she could. Maya could see her mother’s face when she closed her eyes. She squeezed them shut and tried to think of nothing else.

Maya watched the big bald Kano come up the stairs a few feet from her cage. His massive legs were like a monster’s. His back was bare and a huge bird flew across the skin. He glanced her way then he went on into the bedroom where the women were. In a minute Maya would hear the chains clanking as he released them; soon she would see the women pass by to wash. But today there was screaming. Maya covered her ears. It was a terrible sound to hear the Kano beating someone like a dog being whipped. Maya shut her eyes and ears as hard as she could. When she opened them she saw that the Kano had Rosie by the hair and he was dragging her into the corridor. Maya held tight to the bars as she watched Rosie being punched and kicked. Rosie was not making any sound. There was just the noise of the Kano hitting her. Maya looked out from her cage, watching wide-eyed. Then the Kano stopped hitting Rosie. Rosie was lying on the floor; she was not moving any more. The Kano’s chest moved up and down as he breathed hard. The veins in his head stood out like worms. The other women were crying. Maya moved to the back wall, where she sat as small as she could in the corner. The Kano knelt down in front of her cage and beckoned her forward. Maya didn’t move. She pulled nervously at her T-shirt and chewed her lip and pressed herself back hard into the wall. He beckoned again.

‘Come.’ His fingers snapped open and shut.

The Kano had to be obeyed. Rosie had told her;

always do what he wants and then you might see your

mama again. Never disobey the Kano.

Maya inched forward.

Only keep your heart your own. They cannot take what is inside your heart and head, but give them