She’s looking at me the same way my father does, with anger and a whole boatload of disappointment. Fuck it hurts. I lift my chin and fold my arms, bracing for the worst of it. “What did you think, Jordan?”

“I thought your hard work was paying off! That I was helping! But it wasn’t either, was it?” Jordan shouts. Bending down, she snatches clothing at random, shoving it all inside my bag. Doing up the zipper, she straightens and smacks it hard against my chest. “Get out.”

Frustration flares as I grapple with my bag before it drops to the floor. “You have no idea what it’s like for me.”

“I have a goddamn clue!”

“You know what? Screw it.” I start for the door, too pissed off to care that I’m still wet and only half dressed. I scoop up the pill bottle on my way out and wave it her mockingly. Her eyes narrow.

Jamming it inside my bag, I seize the door handle and turn, meeting Jordan’s fiery gaze. “You’re so fucking perfect, sweetheart,” I sneer. “No one can live up to your impossible expectations, least of all me. I’m tired of trying. I’m just so fucking tired of it all.”

Jordan’s intake of breath is sharp. Her face screws up and fat tears begin to fall one after the other down her cheeks. I pause in my tracks, a lump filling my throat.

“Go!” she chokes out.

“Jordan—”

“Get out!” she shrieks, choking on a sob. Covering her mouth with her hand, she gives me her back. “God, I’m so stupid. How could I not see?”

I let go of the door handle, my arm falling limply by my side. “I can’t leave like this.”

“You can. The door’s right there.” Jordan turns and waves a hand at it. “Use it.”

“No.” I drop my bag on the floor and take a step toward her. “You know I told you I’d ruin us.”

Jordan stares at me stonily, her eyes red. “You did.”

“And you promised you wouldn’t let me,” I say quietly.

“Because it hasn’t ruined us,” she spits out, dashing away her tears with the backs of her hands. “It’s ruined you.”

I shrug helplessly. “You’re right. It has. And you’re better off without someone like me, but the truth is, I’m better off with someone like you, and I can’t give you up.” I take another step, reaching up to brush the backs of my fingers gently against her swollen cheekbone. She flinches, jerking her head out of reach. My arm drops, hurt burning a giant hole in my chest. “I love you, Jordan.”

Jordan stills, my declaration hanging in the air between us as she stares wordlessly. I take her face in my hands, my fingers trembling against the damp pink of her cheeks. I’m laying myself bare for this girl, and my timing sucks, but it’s too big for me to hold in any longer. “I love you. You’re my home, and I’m yours.” My eyes burn at the thought of losing her. “Don’t ask me to leave. Please.”

“I love you too,” she whispers through tears, and damn it feels good to hear it, to know I’m not alone in this. “But you need to go.”

The words chill me to the bone. “Why? Because I took a few pills?”

“Because you’re a liar and a drug cheat, Brody.” Despair washes over her face. “Because together we’re a volatile mess. And because you’re wrong. My expectations aren’t too high. All I ever wanted was for you to be the best you could be, and for a moment I thought you were truly starting to believe in yourself enough to do that. But it was all a lie. You don’t believe in anything except a little bottle of pills.” Jordan steps around me and walks to the door. I turn as she takes hold of the handle and opens it wide, her jaw trembling with an effort to hold herself together. “Please go.”

My heart splinters into a thousand tiny jagged pieces. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. “I can’t.”

“Please,” she whispers.

I take a ragged breath and walk to the door. My whole body is vibrating with the need to grab hold of her and not let go. It takes everything I have not to do it. Bending down, I pick my bag up off the floor. I sling it over my shoulder and straighten. All the while Jordan doesn’t look at me, as if the sight of me makes her sick.

Reaching the doorway, I pause, staring straight ahead into the darkened living area. “I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.”

With morning comes a new kind of hell. My phone rings early, waking me from a shitty sleep. Last night’s events hit me in a rush, and it’s all I can do to take a breath. Realizing it could be Jordan, I snatch the phone from my bedside table and read the screen. My father. God, he has the worst timing in the history of the world. I toss the phone somewhere on my sheets, letting it ring out.

With a groan I fall back on my pillow and cover my eyes with my forearm. I’m losing Jordan and I can’t handle it. I have to stop taking the pills. All I need is to just keep those last two saved for finishing the case studies, and I’ll be as good as gold. No more after that. Then I’ll talk to her and everything will be fine. I can fix this. I have to.

My phone rings again. I snatch it up again, hitting answer this time. “Goddammit, Dad!”

“This is how you answer your phone?”

He sounds as pissed off as I do, and I don’t care. “Nope. That’s a greeting I reserve special just for you.”

My father makes a strangled sound of anger. “I want you home. Now.”

“Dad, what the hell?” I pull the phone from my ear to check the time. Six fucking a.m. “It’s early and I have training.”

“Not anymore you don’t.”

“What?” I sit up in bed. Coach will be furious if I’m late to practice. “You can’t—”

“We both know very well I can. Home,” he enunciates loudly. “Now.”

When I get dial tone, I turn and smash my fist into the pillow with a frustrated growl. There’s nothing I can do when he says jump, except ask how high. I drag myself from bed. After throwing on my training gear, I stick my head in Jaxon’s room. It’s empty. His bed is unmade, but not necessarily slept in. Not unusual, but after leaving him to deal with Davis last night, it leaves me edgy not to find him home.

Arriving at my parents’ house, I pull in the drive. Even at this early hour old man Lewis is out working in his yard. I slam the car door, not bothering to give him my regular casual salute. I just can’t be bothered.

Reaching the porch steps, I notice the door slightly ajar and raised voices. My brow furrows when I hear both my father and uncle caught in a loud argument. I move to the door and pause.

“Brody will be here any minute. I’m sure he has a brilliant explanation,” my father says, his sarcasm crystal clear. “Assault charges, for fuck’s sake. There’s no way Jaxon did this. It has Brody written all over it.”

“Are you kidding me? This has you written all over it.” That comes from my uncle and he sounds pissed. “You’ve done that boy no favors with your violent temper and your contempt.”

“I gave him a roof over his head and food in his mouth!”

“You gave him nothing!” Patrick roars and I flinch. “Brody is troubled and I’ve waited far too long to step in. I should’ve done it a hell of a lot sooner. He’s failing classes, taking drugs, and getting into fights! You raised him to be this way.”

“Drugs? Oh hell no—”

“Enough!” Their shouts are bouncing off the walls, and I can’t take it anymore. I push open the door and step inside, finding them both facing off in the hallway. “What’s going on?”

My father flares his nostrils as he looks at me, hands on his hips. “What’s going on is that I’ve just spent the past two hours cleaning up your mess. Kyle Davis laid assault charges against you last night after you beat the hell out of the kid. Jaxon took the fall for you.”

“Jax was arrested?” My blood boils. Fucking Davis.

“He spent the night in lockup, but we got the matter cleared up,” Patrick says. “Jaxon’s on his way home. Speaking of…” he glances at his watch “…I need to get home as well.” Giving my shoulder a firm squeeze, my uncle looks at me. “Brody I don’t know what Kyle did, but I can’t believe all this was over nothing. My door’s always open for you if you want to talk.”