“She reminds you of me, doesn’t she?” Squinting, she holds her purple-painted thumb and forefinger a few centimeters apart, and I groan. I throw myself on my bed and prop my chin up in my hands. “Yep, that’s what I was afraid of.”

We spend the next hour and a half catching up. I learn that my ex is dating a girl I was friends with in high school and that Kendra’s been seeing a guy I’ve never met—some basketball player from Denmark. “Oh, and I’m thinking about trying out for the tennis team next year. I was pretty good at it in high school, so I figured why the hell not.”

Flipping over on my back, I stare upside down at her. “You make me feel lazy, I haven’t worked out in months. I think about it and then I end up downing a Coke. My mother would be so proud,” I say, thinking of how even in the weeks following Lily’s death, and after the revelation about my dad’s affairs, Mom still attended her yoga and spin classes religiously.

“Whatever,” Kendra snorts. “You and Lily were always freaks of nature. I used to be so jealous of you two because you ate as much as my dad and didn’t gain a pound.” My phone beeps on my desk, and Kendra leans over. “Nathan?”

“Yeah, we’re supposed to be meeting them for the show tonight.”

Fifteen minutes later as we walk across campus to the courtyard to meet up with Nathan and his girlfriend, we talk about plans for winter break. We’ve almost settled on a spot to head to for a weekend trip during that time, when I see Rhys. And he’s coming directly toward us. I almost lead her in the opposite direction, but then I pull in a breath and face him head on. I feel Kendra go still beside me as he grants her a brief smile.

“You got my email?” he asks me, and I nod. His request to cancel our practice this afternoon had come through early this morning, but it had actually worked out to my advantage since Kendra was in town. His eyes touch my floppy black fedora, and he twists his full lips to the side in amusement.

“One of these days,” he promises.

“I stopped wearing them around you,” I argue, and then I realize how rude I’m being and twist to look at Kendra. “Rhys, this is my best friend Kendra,” I tell her and she smiles broadly at him. Clearing my throat, I tell my best friend, “And this is my advisor’s assistant.”

After they’ve exchanged greetings, Rhys lifts his eyebrow at Kendra who responds by doing the same. “Does she wear these ridiculous hats everywhere?”

“Even in the shower,” she jokes, and he nods his head as if she’s confirmed all his suspicions.

“Thought so. Look, I’ve gotta meet some friends, but let me know if you need anything before midterms, okay?” I don’t miss his longing look or the words left unsaid as he brushes past us, his arm skimming my wrist. Letting me know that his invitation to come to him is still open.

Kendra pulls me close to her, and I pump my legs faster to keep up despite the fact that she’s a little shorter than me. “I think my own underwear just melted at the way that boy stared you down,” she whispers, sounding nothing like the Kendra I’ve known for so many years. “Good God. You didn’t mention he was that gorgeous. None of the voice guys you were friends with last year looked anything like that.”

“Rhys is—” I struggle to find the right word. “Different.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that out,” she says.

Luckily, I spot Nathan then. He’s with a girl who reminds me a lot of Corinne except she’s a good six inches taller—slightly taller than Nathan—and her wild curls are dyed completely black. I wave them down and start to go over, but Kendra’s hand closes around my forearm, stopping me. “I just thought you should know that when you look at him—at Rhys—it’s obvious.”

“What?” I ask, but before she can respond, Nathan and Michaela come over. Nathan grabs Kendra into a bear hug like they’re long lost friends as I introduce myself to Michaela. I’m relieved to find that she’s just as easy-going as he is as we pick an empty spot on the grass and the shows begin a few minutes later.

There are a few bands I’ve heard of, like Red Denial, but also several that are new to me. I make it my personal goal to check out some of their shows over the next several months before summer break. When the music is finished shortly after eleven and the crowd starts to thin out, Michaela stands up, brushing the grass off her jeans. She turns to Nathan and says something very softly that makes him grin like the Cheshire cat.

To Kendra and me, he offers an apologetic look that’s not fooling either one of us. “Sorry, Evie. She had a long flight, and—” But I hold my hand and shake my head.

“No need to explain. Seriously, I really don’t want to know what’s going to happen in your bedroom tonight.” If I spent months at a time away from my boyfriend, the last thing I’d want to do is spend one of my only two nights with him hanging around other people. “Goodnight,” I sing. Smiling genuinely at Michaela, I add, “It’s good to finally meet you.”

“You too, Evie,” she murmurs sweetly, “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

Once they disappear in the crowd, I turn to Kendra. “There’s a party that another one of my friends asked us to come to.” I fold my arms over my chest, trying to warm my bare arms with my hands. “I think you’ll like Mac, but if you’re tired we can just go back and watch movies.”

She rolls her eyes. “Are you kidding? I slept all week to prepare for going out with you. You tell me where to go and I’ll follow.” Even though Kendra was never much of a drinker, that didn’t stop her from coming out with me many nights last year. I feel a lump form in my throat as I think of all the times she helped me back to our room, and I link my arm through hers and lay my head on her shoulder.

“You scare me when you’re this sweet,” she says suspiciously. “What’s up?”

“Thank you,” I whisper. “Thank you for always looking out for me and—”

Coming to a halt on the sidewalk, she plants her hands on her slim hips and shoots me a warning glare. “Stop it before you make me get all emotional. If you do that you know I have a hard time stopping.”

I remember all too well, so for the rest of the trek to Baseball House, I bore her with the details about the two pieces I’ll be performing for my midterm next week. When we finally reach the party, Kendra stands on the sidewalk, giving it the same disbelieving look I did the first night I came here.

“We’re in the right place, trust me.” I head toward the porch, motioning for her to follow. “It’s terrifyingly quiet, huh?” But as I get closer to the front door, not only can I hear the sound of music from inside but also someone’s harsh, racking sobs coming from the dark corner of the wraparound porch. Biting down hard on my lip, I try to remember the last time I cried like that and why. When I do, my stomach pitches because my thoughts immediately hone in on the vicious slut-shaming from several months ago.

“I’m looking for someone to take you home, okay?” I hear a girl whispering softly. I edge closer to see she’s leaned over a much smaller girl sitting on the porch floor. “Let me just call—” When she steps out the shadows, I get a glimpse of her face, and I feel something sharp squeeze my heart. It’s Corinne’s friend Ella and panic automatically sets in as she and I lock eyes.

“Are you here to pick her up?” she asks me, sounding almost hysterical herself.

“What happened?” I ask calmly. At the sound of my voice, I hear shuffling. My breath catches when my roommate comes out of the shadows, her face wet and mascara running down her cheeks. She throws herself into my arms and buries her face against my chest.

I stand motionless for a few seconds, staring back and forth helplessly from Ella to Kendra before I touch Corinne’s shoulders and push her back just enough for me to get a good look at her tear-streaked face. “What happened?” I repeat, each syllable ground out.