“You give me a do over, one night.”

“A do over?” I know I’m repeating everything, but I’m trying to process it all. He might still be able to help, but on one condition. Is he propositioning me? “You want me to sleep with you?” I gather my assumption and put it back on him.

“Don’t sound so shocked. I‘ve made it clear how much fucking you would please me, Bell.”

“Please you?”

“One night. One night and I’ll help you find your sister,” he repeats, and I have to shove down the unease forming in my stomach.

“I won’t sleep with you, Jesse, if that’s what you’re asking.” I need to make myself clear. I can’t. There’s no way. Would I?

“Who said anything about sleeping, Bell?”

“A date?” I ask, unsure what he’s implying.

“I don’t date either.”

“Well, I don’t fuck, as you put it so charmingly,” I counter, not getting where he’s heading. He holds my stare before a broad smile crosses his face.

“Are you sure, Bell? In my dreams, you fuck real good.”

“Ugh, your lines are not impressive, Jesse,” I tell him, almost laughing at how lame he is. He shrugs, as if he doesn’t care and holds my stare. I don’t budge, knowing I’m not ready for what he’s suggesting. I might have walked way out of my comfort zone over the weekend, but it was a one-time deal. Nothing else.

“Fine, a date,” he finally agrees, conceding to my terms, but I know his game. Jesse Carter might say he doesn’t play games, but the man is the biggest player around.

“No sex,” I add, shutting it down before it it’s thrown on the table.

“Never say never, Bell,”

“I didn’t say never. I said no.” I keep my face straight and will any blushing away.

“You won’t be saying no by the time I’m done with you. That’s a promise.” I try not to think about his promise, but questions start to creep in. Would I let this man between my legs? My head says no but my body doesn’t know what to think about it right now. How far am I willing to go for Paige? Could I sacrifice this part of me? I shake my head clear of thoughts of Paige. This is more than Paige. This is on me. I might not be ready to admit it, but as much as I want to say it’s for her, I’d be lying.

I just need to remember the bigger picture here.

Paige.

I will do anything for her.

Anything.

Seven Jesse

“So, do you think you can put the word out?” I ask Beau the next day after our weekly club meet. I left Bell at the hospital yesterday relieved I didn’t fuck her, but also disappointed. I don’t know what my hang up with her is about, but it’s like every time I get near her, my brain short circuits and I forget she is not my type at all.

“I’ll put the word out, but if I were you, I wouldn’t hold my breath. Six years is a long fucking time. Any info I get or Tiny gets, might not be accurate.” I nod, understanding what he’s saying, but I know Beau; he’ll do his best to get what he needs.

“Just see what you can find out,” I say, knowing it’s going to be a waste of time, but I would feel like an asshole for telling Bell I would help, to then not follow through.

I shouldn’t have gone after her yesterday. I should’ve ignored myself when I thought it would be easy to talk face-to-face with her. I went to her pissed, ready to rip her a new one for fucking with me, but left agreeing to help her. When she told me her situation, I knew I was fucked. I don’t know why I felt the need to bargain with her. If I’m being honest, I would’ve helped regardless. The way she looked up at me telling me about her sister, all-innocent, and me turning it into a chance to get in her pants just proves what an asshole I really am.

“What’s this about?” Sy asks, catching the last few lines of our conversation.

“Paige Johnson, you remember her?” I ask, surprised Beau knew the name when I asked.

“Name doesn’t sound familiar.” Sy stops to think.

“He wouldn’t have been around. She went missing six years ago. Never came home from work.” Beau fills him in. “Police think she ran. Family is adamant she didn’t.”

“What’s it got to do with us?” Sy looks between the both of us.

“Bell is Paige’s sister.”

“Bell?”

“Nurse Bell,” Beau explains.

“Oh, I see.” Sy smirks, and I know I’m about to get it.

“You don’t see anything,” I tell him, not in the mood to justify asking for Beau’s help on this.

“You have her in your bed one night, next you got the club in on her shit,” Sy responds.

“You got it twisted, bro.” I hate that he might be right.

“Seems like she’s got you twisted.” I know he’s fucking with me, but he’s wrong. The only thing that’s got me twisted is the fact that Bell’s sister has been missing for six years.

“If we can help her, why shouldn’t we? How would you feel if Holly went missing?” I feel myself getting worked up and I need someone to take it out on.

“Bit different. She’s not some fuck I nailed and kicked out. But I feel ya.”

“Fuck you, Sy.” I get in his face, but he just laughs in mine.

“Relax, bro, just fucking with you.” Sy slaps me on the back but it doesn’t calm me. I might be a player, might want to bury myself in any woman who has a sweet pussy and big tits, but I’m not helping Bell find Paige for those reasons. Aren’t I? Fuck, I don’t even know anymore. I fucking want to say I’m a good guy, the kind of man who would do anything to help find a lost woman, but what is really happening here?

“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Sy taunts and it pisses me off. Fuck, this is what it’s like when I hang shit on them.

“Take a breather, Jesse,” Beau orders, and I nod listening to my VP. “I’ll keep you posted. Got a meet with Tiny this week.”

“Thanks,” I say and move from the bar toward the exit. I have a meet with my brother anyway. I don’t need Sy’s shit. “Later,” I call, not waiting for a reply.

“He’s so doing this for pussy,” I hear Sy say as I turn the corner. I don’t stop to defend myself. He can think what he wants. I might have twisted whatever I needed to twist in order to get Bell to go on a date with me, but had she turned me down, I still would be putting my feelers out. Deep down, when I really think about it, I fucking know that. I also know a date is the last thing this woman needs, but fuck, I can’t help but take what I need. If it were any other woman, I’d agree with Sy. Hell, I know I wouldn’t need to ask for a date or waste the time to take her out and feed her. I’d just bring her back here and fuck her senseless. But with a woman like Bell, I know I need to dig deeper.

So why am I doing it?

Who fucking knows. I’m an asshole. That’s all there is to it.

“You been well?” my older brother Jackson asks an hour later as the waitress places the food down in front of us.

“Yeah, same shit different day.” I shrug, taking a bite of my burger. He nods, taking in my reply before picking up his own burger. The tension between us grows as we eat in silence, neither of us really sure how to talk to each other. I can’t even remember the last time I haven’t felt tension between us. It’s like it’s always been there, and nothing we do, or say takes it away.

“You?” I ask, taking a sip of my drink and wait for his standard reply.

“Busy. Work is crazy.” I nod, holding back an eye roll. Same shit every time. “You speak to Mom lately?” he adds, and I’m not surprised.

“Not for a couple weeks. Why?”

“You know she worries.” He stops eating and levels his stare on me.

“Jackson,” I warn, hating when it always comes back to this. Always back to this shit with my family.

“You need to pull your head out of your ass, Jesse.”