“No, it’s the Callum Alexander I know. And Grant knows. And your family knows. You’re not impervious to the world around you. That damn mask you wear is.” She brings her hands to my face, cupping my jaw and leaning in so close I can feel her warm breath fanning across my lips. “Stop trying to fix everything and just be you. You don’t have to hold back with me. I never want you to hold back with me.”
She drags her hands down to my chest, resting her palms directly over my heart. I have to clench my hands into tight fists as I resist the urge to touch her. My emotions are unpredictable, and I fear I’ll push too much if I touch her. Never have I felt such raw need overtake my body, every nerve ending on edge with an instinct I refuse to act upon.
A depraved act no woman in her right mind—even one as open as Lucia—would ever find acceptable.
“What do you need, Cal?”
My voice is coarse, rough, and veiled with desperate desire. “I need . . .” I can’t even utter the words. She wants me to lay myself bare, tell her what I think I need from her in this moment. With all the pressure caving in, suffocating me, crushing me with guilt, even as I near my final breaking point, the words don’t come out.
“Say it, Cal. Tell me you’re going to give me that last piece of you. That buried part of you that you’re so determined to protect me from.” Her eyes speak volumes, more than any words can say. Trust me. Believe in me.
“Stop holding back,” she says, flexing her fingers against my chest.
“I’m doing it to protect you, to keep you—. . .”
“Cal, you can’t hold it all in forever. Whatever it is will come between us. Let me help you.”
“I can’t lose you.” My voice is desolate, desperate as I cling to my last shred of resistance. I cover her hands with mine, pressing down so she feels the thud of my heart against her skin. “I can lose everything else, but I could never survive losing you too.”
“If you can’t trust me to stay, then you’ll lose me anyway. Give me you . . . all of you.”
“You have me.”
She slips her hands out from underneath mine and pushes back up to her feet before holding an arm out to me. “Then prove it, Cal. Show me everything. Let me give you this. Let me give you what you need.”
Those bright, soulful eyes of hers bore into mine, and the air flows right back into my lungs as she takes the decision out of my hands. When I reach out to her, she tangles our fingers together before turning and tugging gently, leading me toward the stairs and up to the second floor.
My heart beats uncontrollably, anticipation intermingling with fear, overshadowed with the love I have for this woman who continues to push me out of my comfort zone. The woman who has always been able to read me, from the first night we met ’til now, when I need her most.
Lucia has succeeded in getting me out of my head, and now she wants me to lay myself completely bare. She wants that last piece of me that I’ve fought for so long to bury deep inside.
Then Grant’s words from earlier today ring loudly in my ear.
That damn mask is suffocating you.
He’s right. It’s time to tear away the mask and show Lucia everything. A heavy feeling of foreboding threatens to overwhelm me but I push it back, following Lucia across the threshold and into my bedroom.
I wrap my arm around her ribs and roughly cup her breast, pulling her body hard against me, my bare chest flush against her scorching hot back.
Torturous thoughts run through me, a stark contrast to what I normally allow. Then I see something else reflected in Lucia’s eyes. Something simmering beneath the surface that calls to me, igniting my most basal instincts.
I lock my eyes with hers in the giant mirror in front of us, my gaze dropping to the floor as I slowly begin my avid perusal of her body. Every moment I spend with this woman affects me more, tangles me more in her web of lust, my subconscious offering itself as willing prey at every opportunity. We are polar opposites in many ways—dark and light, dirty and clean, sedate and wild, and, most poignantly, sinner and saint.
But once again, I see a gleam of wild in her eyes, a spark of fire that is so bright that I want to bathe in its greatness.
It’s her, a one-of-a-kind deal that I have to take. God, I can’t even imagine going back to a life without her in it. That one thought and everything it encompasses terrifies me.
Staring at me, not granting me freedom from her gaze, she tilts her head to the side and grazes her lips with her tongue. It’s a tantalizing offer of things to come, one that even the strongest, most steadfast man would be unable to refuse.
Lowering my mouth to the furthest edge of her shoulder, I place a soft, open-mouthed kiss against her satin-smooth skin before trailing my tongue up her neck. The low, guttural moan that escapes her lips speaks to me. Unable to hold back, my hand rakes against her scalp, gripping her hair as I turn her face toward mine and crash my lips down on hers. My tongue delves deep into her mouth, tasting and taking unapologetically. Her hand snakes up and cradles my jaw, her fingertips biting into my skin as the kiss turns carnal, rough, raw, and completely out of control.
She knows I need this—that I need to lose myself in her, in us, to stop myself from thinking about everything swirling around me. Because if I think about that, I’ll sink even deeper.
Something snaps inside of me, that last stranglehold of denial and resistance dissipating as I let instinct rule my body.
I tighten my grip in her hair, taking her mouth with unheeded veracity. She’s with me every step of the way, meeting my hips with answering arches of her back, her naked ass rubbing against my straining cock with every thrust.
“Take what you need, Cal.” Her voice is a hoarse whisper, but I hear every emotion she exhibits in the words. The roaring in my ears is deafening, my blood boiling with the craving for more.
Needing a distraction, I release my hold on her and spin her around to face me, my lips landing back on hers with a welcome roughness, if her responding whimper into my mouth is anything to go by.
I walk her backwards until her knees meet the edge of my bed. With a gentle push, she falls back, her legs spreading wide in a silent plea and her eyes locked with mine every step of the way. Her hands move to her breasts, her finger and thumb gripping each nipple and squeezing until a loud moan fills the room.
I’m struck still, locking my body in place as I watch her one-woman show.
“Give me what I need, Cal.”
My entire being vibrates with untested desire, the craving so strong, so desperate in this moment that I don’t trust myself to stay here in the moment—to retain the control such an act calls for.
When Lucia’s moans grow louder, and she drags one hand lower down her body to stroke between her legs, I give up holding back and take what I want—what I need.
Dropping to my knees at the foot of the bed, I spread her thighs wide and push my shoulders between her knees, diving my mouth down to engulf her with my mouth, my lips wrapping around her clitoris and sucking hard while first one, then two fingers plunge inside of her.
I’m no longer on autopilot; I’m feral with need and desperate to sink my cock deep inside her, driving into her hard and fast, taking us both to the precipice before catapulting over the edge into the climactic abyss.
“Fuck, Luce. Fuccccck.” I groan against her.
Her cries become louder and more frantic. I move up and over her, roughly thrusting my cock inside her, giving us what we both want. Her fingernails grip my shoulders, biting into the skin sending shockwaves to my brain that fail to engage any sense of reason.