“It made me wonder what it would feel like if you spanked me while I was naked.” She ran her fingers down my arm teasingly. “And you were going down on me at the same time. I bet it would feel good. Really good. Want to show me?”
I stretched my fingers out on the wheel, still holding on with my thumbs. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
She leaned in even more, her sweet breath fanning over my cheek. “Oh, but I do. I’ve never gotten to really choose what I want in life. I’ve always been told what I want, and I went along with it, even if I wanted something else. But with you, I know I can have what I want. I know you’ll give it to me, not because you want me to want it—but because you know I want it. And you want to make me happy. Want to make me feel good. With you…it’s not about what someone else requires from me, or my duties or expectations. It’s just about us and the passion between us.”
I shook my head, desperate, still holding on to the wheel with both thumbs. One slipped off. “I could make you feel good for a night—but there’s no future for us. We both know that.”
“Then I’ll take the night.” She tugged on her hair and licked her lips. I couldn’t look away from the wet trail her tongue left behind. “And maybe the night after, too.”
I turned on her, fire scorching through my veins. A fire that had nothing to do with anger, and everything to do with the woman sitting beside me. “You’re practically engaged, Lilly.” I growled a little bit. I couldn’t help it. “What if you don’t find a way out? Don’t you feel bad, messing around behind the guy’s back?”
Her hand left my arm, and she pressed it to her chest. “It’s not…we wouldn’t…he doesn’t…he’s never…” She broke off. “Never mind. Just forget it.”
Fumbling for the door handle, she threw the door open and tried to slide out, but I caught her arm. I had a feeling if I held on much longer, I wouldn’t want to let go. “Finish that damn sentence. He never what?”
“I said forget it.”
And then it clicked. She wanted to get in my pants because the man she was supposed to marry was no good at getting in hers. Maybe he didn’t give her enough. Or maybe he sucked. Or, hell, maybe he was sleeping around, too.
For whatever the reason, she obviously felt justified in her actions.
“You kept talking about going home with strangers, but I couldn’t figure out why you’d do that. But I understand why now. I get it.” I loosened my hold on her, but didn’t let go. “He’s no good in bed. That’s the issue, right?”
She let out a harsh laugh. “God.”
“It’s fine. I get it.” I ran my thumb over her soft, warm skin. “You want to have fun before dedicating yourself to a lifetime of boring sex. I would do the same. But I can’t be just a fun-time guy. You can’t forget me after I’m gone. We’re always going to be in each other’s lives.”
“Funny, because this is the first time I’ve seen you in seven years. I didn’t realize you were sticking around this time.”
“I don’t know that I am,” I admitted.
She closed her eyes, dropping the back of her head against the seat. “You’re such a—there are no other guys. It’s just you. It’s…it’s…it’s always been you. I want us to get naked together, and I refuse to be ashamed about it. But don’t mistake my desire for you as a desire to get naked with anyone. It’s you. Only you.”
With that, she jerked her arm free and bolted for the front door, not looking back at me even once. Meanwhile, I couldn’t look away from her retreating form. She’d just admitted she wanted me—me—and wasn’t ashamed of it. And why should she be?
She was a grown-ass woman. And we weren’t blood.
If she wanted to have sex with me, who the hell was I to tell her no? If she wanted to run her soft hands all over my body and make me feel good for the first time in years, why the hell should I refuse? Though a lot of people assumed otherwise, I wasn’t the type to sleep around, flitting from one woman to another. I could count the number of women I’ve had on one hand, and I didn’t sleep with someone lightly.
But what the hell ever. It’d been a long time since I let myself succumb to lust—years, even—and if I was going to do it with someone, why not Lilly? She’d made her choice…
Time to make mine.
Chapter 10
Lilly
I stumbled up the walkway blindly, tripping over the spot where one stone was slightly higher than the others. Not because I was drunk or anything. I wasn’t. I hadn’t lied about that. But I was off balance because Jackson kept asking those intimate questions and acting as if he wanted me as badly as I wanted him, but when I answered his questions honestly…he froze up.
Didn’t take action.
It was infuriating. Annoying. Aggravating. Torturous. I could go on and on, describing all the ways that Jackson Worthington made me feel, and none of them were good. Not unless he was on top of me, and his hands were on me—but that didn’t seem as though it would happen again anytime soon.
I needed to get inside the house, run up to my room, and lock my bedroom door. Shut him, and this whole mess, behind me. Unfortunately, my purse was still in the car with Jackson. The purse with the keys to the front door in it. I didn’t realize this until I got to the porch, and there was no way I was going back there. No way I was looking him in the eye after I admitted he was the only man I wanted.
I could sleep outside. Camp under the stars. Commune with nature until the earth did me a favor and swallowed me whole. Anything to escape going back to him.
Turning around, I prepared to make myself scarce before he could notice, but instead, I gasped and slammed my back against the door. Jackson was two seconds from me, stalking toward me with heat blazing in those brown eyes of his. His stride was purposeful. Determined. Hard. Only thing was, I couldn’t tell if he was about to kiss me, kill me…or both.
Resting my back against the door for support, I held on to the knob and forced words to escape before he came too close. “Jackson, I—”
“Shut up. Just shut up.”
His hand snaked around the nape of my neck. The other splayed across my lower back and hauled me against his chest. I barely had time to inhale before his mouth was on mine, and he was literally stealing my breath away as if he intended to take it all, and never give it back.
And I let him.
He held me so close, his zipper dug into my soft belly, and his fingers dug into the top of my butt, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was that he was here and kissing me as if he’d never stop. I certainly wasn’t going to take that for granted. I nipped at his lower lip and sucked on it to ease the sting.
Growling low in his throat, I was caged by his body, and I had no desire to escape. It didn’t matter, as long as he kept kissing and touching me as if I was all he’d ever wished for. I curled my hands into his shirt, holding on for dear life.
And I had no intention of letting go.
Not till this crazy ride was over.
Reaching behind me, he opened the door and backed me through it, his mouth ravaging mine as we walked in. The second it was closed behind us, the keys hit the floor with a soft jangle, and he broke the kiss to haul me over his shoulder again. I cried out, more from the abrupt change of equilibrium, and held on as he climbed the stairs.
Instead of going to his room, he went into mine, hesitating in the doorway. He’d never been in here before, so he was more than likely just taking it all in, but it still sent a shaft of fear splicing through the thick lust between us. If he backed down now…