He squeezes my hand. “She won’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because she’s my twin. I’m supposed to know these things about her.”

“But you were worried before too. You thought I might lose her as a friend. What’s changed?”

“We have. Look at us. We’re not two people hanging out and sneaking around behind her back anymore. We care about each other. Love each other. That has to count for something.”

I want to agree with him because I think it should count for something, but I’m not the one who needs convincing. Tori is. And she’s not an easy person to sway. “What if she won’t listen to us long enough to see how much we want to be together? She might storm out of here on her birthday. We could ruin her party and everything.” The tears are flowing freely now, and Toby pulls me into his chest. He lets me get it out because he knows me well enough to know I have to think the worst before I can hope for the best.

“I’m sorry.” I lift my head and stare up at him through swollen eyes. “It’s your birthday too, and I’m totally ruining it.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You don’t have to be so sweet all the time. You can tell me when I’m acting like a five-year-old.”

“Caring about the people you love isn’t acting like a five-year-old.”

“Maybe not, but dating you behind Tori’s back isn’t exactly as harmless as stealing her favorite toy either.”

“Touché.”

“I’m not sure you can say that since I think I just proved your point instead of mine.” I laugh because I don’t have any tears left to cry.

“Look, people are going to be here any minute. Go upstairs. Get yourself together, and we’ll figure out the rest later.”

“When are we going to tell her?”

“We’ll let her enjoy the party for a while first, but it is my birthday too, and I want to be able to dance with my girlfriend.”

I smile, and my heart skips at the word girlfriend. I lean forward and kiss him. “Happy birthday.”

“Now it is.”

I kiss him again for being so sweet, but we’re interrupted by the doorbell.

“Go get ready. I’ll get the door.”

I squeeze his leg before getting up and heading upstairs. I don’t even want to know who’s coming to this party. Tori’s crowd has changed since she started dating Ryder. She hangs out with some of Toby’s friends now. Although not all of Toby’s friends are talking to him after the incident with Meredith. A lot of people are still taking Meredith’s side in the breakup. If only they knew what really happened.

I wash up in the bathroom, getting rid of any evidence of tears. Then I head to Tori’s room to fix my hair and makeup. In about ten minutes, I’m presentable. I walk downstairs, peeking around the corner to see who’s here. I’m shocked to see almost the entire junior class spread out between the living room, kitchen, dining room, and den. No way did Toby really invite all these people. Word must have gotten out, and party crashers came out of the woodworks.

“There you are,” Toby says, coming out of the kitchen with his cell in hand. “Ryder just texted me. They’re on their way.”

“How’s he getting her here?” We knew better than to tell Tori her party’s at her house. She would’ve flipped. I’m just hoping once we get her here and she’s having fun, she’ll forget about the fact that we didn’t spring for an actual event room at a hotel or restaurant.

“He told her he left his lucky hat here and that he couldn’t go to the party without it. Naturally, she’s pissed.”

Great. I don’t need her angry before Toby and I talk to her.

“Hey.” He reaches for me, but stops. There are people everywhere, and we can’t let anyone suspect anything before we talk to Tori. “Relax. We’re going to get through this.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Practicing for your wedding day, man?” Jeff claps Toby on the back.

“Very funny.” Toby rolls his eyes, but I can’t help thinking about Kim Kwan’s story. It took almost until her wedding day to get her friend back. I feel sick.

“Shouldn’t we get everyone to hide or something?” Jeff asks.

“Yeah. Good thinking.” Toby looks around. “Take them all into the dining room and den. Tori won’t see them from there.”

“Wait. What about all the cars outside?”

Toby smiles. “We had everyone park behind the school and walk. Even the people who crashed caught on to the plan. We’re all good.”

We’re so far from good. Maybe the cars were out of sight, but they aren’t what’s going to ruin Tori’s birthday. Toby and I are.

He ushers me with the rest of the group. We take a spot in the dining room, right by the door so we’ll be the first ones Tori sees. Toby whispers in my ear, “In case I forgot to tell you, you look amazing.”

“Oh no.”

“What? Do you not like being complimented on how you look?”

“No. I mean, I do. It’s just that I forgot your present and Tori’s in my car.”

“Don’t sweat it. You can get it later.”

The front door jiggles, and Toby presses a finger to my lips. I turn toward the door, wanting to see the happy expression on my best friend’s face before I tell her how I betrayed her. She opens the door and flicks on the light.

“Just find it quickly because I can’t be late to my own—”

“Surprise!” Jeff leads the group out of the den and into the living room. The rest of us follow. So much for Tori seeing Toby and me first.

She stumbles backward for a second, scanning the crowd. I’m waiting for the yelling to begin. The questions about why the party is here of all places. But instead, she smiles. “Becca Daniels, where the hell are you?” She continues to search the crowd for me.

Toby pushes me forward. “Go on.”

I work my way through the crowd as the music starts up. Tori sees me and squeals. “How did you get so many people here? And where are all the presents?”

I don’t have the heart to tell her most of the people crashed and didn’t even have the decency to bring gifts. “Um, Toby took care of the guest list, and I’m pretty sure the gifts are upstairs.”

“Well, what did you get me?”

“I left my gift in the car.”

“Why?”

“Um, I didn’t want it to get buried under all the others.” At least that sounds believable. “Why don’t you and Ryder get something to drink and then go dance? I’ll be right back.” I rush outside, and the second the cool air hits my face, I drink it in, gasping for something to fill this ache in my chest.

I fumble with my car keys and open the trunk. Both wrapped packages stare up at me. Tori and Toby’s. They’re the two most important people in my life, outside of my parents, and I don’t think I can have them both. At least not the way I want them. I’d give anything to have Tori as my sister one day. I don’t have a sister, but being her best friend, I always felt like I sort of did. And Toby, well, he’s the kind of guy you hope you end up with. I’m not looking for that kind of commitment yet, but one day, sure. It doesn’t seem fair that things can’t turn out that way for me. That I’m most likely going to lose one or both of them along the way.

“You okay?” Toby comes outside, shutting the door behind him.

“Yeah. Just getting the presents.” I can’t give him his yet, and I can’t let him open it in front of other people either. No one would understand it.

“Want me to take them upstairs for you?”

“Sure. Well, yours anyway. I think Tori wants to wear her present.”

“How do you know she knows what you got her?”

I smile at him. Tori always knows. It’s like a shopping sixth sense. She can smell shoes and clothing from a mile away. I hand him his gift. “No peeking. Promise?”

“I promise.” He smiles and walks back inside. I give him a head start, just like I’ve gotten used to doing at the end of every fifth period. Hopefully, that will end soon.

I go inside and search for Tori. She’s in the den, sitting on Ryder’s lap and holding a drink in her hand. She laughs along with a bunch of people I’m not even sure I know. I can’t help thinking that in some bizarre alternate universe, she and Meredith would’ve made good friends. They both love attention, parties, hot guys, and loud music.