I sit up straight in my seat. “You were talking to Toby about me?”

She narrows her eyes at me quickly before focusing on the road again. “So? What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing. I’m just surprised you two would be talking about me. You said all he talks about anymore is basketball.” I pray she buys my lame cover-up.

“Good point.” She nods, obviously satisfied. “But I was saying how you’re so down to earth. You don’t take risks. Just play it safe and do what’s expected of you.”

Ouch! “Wow, I didn’t realize you thought I was so boring.” And she said that to Toby! How am I ever going to get his attention now?

“No, it’s not a bad thing. You keep me grounded. I need that sometimes.”

“That’s not quite a compliment, just so you know.”

“Well, I meant it in a nice way.” She bats her eyelashes at me the way she always does when she puts her foot in her mouth.

“What do you need at the mall, anyway?” As much as I’m pissed, I don’t want to talk about my epic lameness anymore.

“Need?” She laughs. “Shopping isn’t about what you need. It’s about what you want. You could learn a thing or two from me, you know.”

Except I can’t have what I want. Not without losing my best friend. Why does the most perfect guy I’ve ever met have to be Tori’s brother?

We pull into a parking spot and Tori practically drags me into the mall. We hit every store, and she tries on everything in her size. I let her do her thing while I look for the cutest top, the one that will finally make Toby notice me. It takes me until the last store to find it, but it’s perfect. The neckline is low, which so isn’t me, but that’s why I love it. It’s black and lacy and demands attention.

“I’m going to try this on,” I tell Tori, grabbing the shirt from the rack.

Her eyes widen. “You’re kidding me.”

“No, I’m not. I like it.”

“Me too. That’s why I’m surprised.”

“Well, I’ve decided it’s time for a little change. I don’t want to do what everyone expects of me anymore.”

She reaches for my arm. “Look, Becca, I really didn’t mean anything bad by what I said earlier. You know I love you.”

“I know, but I need to do this for me.” And for Toby.

She nods. “I bet you look amazing in it.”

“Let’s find out.” I take the top into the dressing room and try it on. The girl in the mirror is still me, but at the same time not. I feel like I’m wearing Meredith’s clothes.

“So?” Tori yells. “Let me see.”

I step out of the dressing room, biting my lip and trying to keep my nerves under control. Maybe this change of appearance isn’t such a great idea.

“Whoa, Bec. You look hot.” She smiles. “I knew you had it in you.”

“You think? I feel a little silly.”

“No way. You have to buy that.”

I look at the price tag. Fifty dollars for one top? “I don’t know. It’s a lot of money.”

“So? Who cares how much money it is if it makes you look that good?”

I turn back to the mirror. Fifty dollars is a lot of money, but if Toby likes it…

Fifteen minutes later we’re back in Tori’s car and heading to her house. I have the shirt in a bag on my lap. I totally chickened out of my plan to swap tops so Toby could see it, and I’m already planning to return the shirt after school tomorrow. It just isn’t me.

We stop in the kitchen and grab some iced tea and tortilla chips. I sit at the center island and take the top out of the bag. “I think I made a mistake buying this.”

“What?” Tori whips around, spilling iced tea on my shirt. “Sorry.” She hands me a dishtowel, but I’m soaked. “Go change into your new top. You can’t stay in that one.”

“But I’m going to return it. I shouldn’t really wear it first.”

“Go put it on.” Her tone is forceful.

“Put what on?” Toby flings his backpack on the island next to my bag.

“Becca bought this totally hot new top, but she’s embarrassed to wear it.”

My cheeks get insanely hot, and I probably look like a tomato. “I’m not embarrassed. I just decided I don’t like it. It’s not my style at all.”

“That was the point, remember? You said you wanted a change.” Tori pours me another glass of iced tea.

“Let’s see the shirt,” Toby says. “I’ll tell you if it’s you or not.” He stares at me, and I can barely form words.

“Um…”

Tori yanks me to my feet. “Go! You can change in my room.”

I sigh and take the shirt upstairs. What else am I supposed to do? Besides, I bought the shirt so Toby could see me in it, and he asked me to put it on. I can’t say no. In Tori’s room, I pull my wet shirt over my head and drape it across the back of the desk chair to dry. The new top somehow feels tighter and more revealing as I study my reflection in the mirror. I’m about to take it off when there’s a knock at the door.

I open it, expecting to see Tori, but Toby’s there instead. “Oh God!” I blurt before I can stop myself.

He looks me over without saying a word. The silence is killing me, and I’m dying to put my other shirt back on, wet and all.

“Um…” I clear my throat. “Are you going to say anything?”

“I like the top.”

He likes it. I breathe again.

“But it’s not you.”

My heart sinks. “What do you mean?”

“It’s cool, don’t get me wrong. But you have a more laid back style. You don’t try to look good like other girls.”

I don’t try to look good? I suddenly feel two feet tall.

He holds his hands up. “Whoa, I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.”

“What did you mean?”

“I like your style. I like that you’re comfortable with who you are. You don’t try to impress people. You’re just you. And that’s cool.”

I’m cool? “You really think so?”

He nods. “I’d return the top and buy some more of those cute t-shirts you wear. You know, the ones with the crazy sayings.”

He’s noticed what I wear. “You like those?”

“Yeah. Like I said, they’re cute, and they make me laugh. The sayings, that is.”

“I saw one today that said, ‘Monkeys keep me up at night.’”

He laughs. “See, I have no idea what that means, but I’m picturing you in these cute little pajamas with monkeys braiding your hair and jumping on your bed.”

He pictures me in my pajamas?

“Oh, sorry. Was that weird?” He swallows hard and any trace of laughter leaves his face.

“No, it—”

“What’s taking you so long?” Tori asks, coming up the stairs.

Toby gives me a smile before turning toward her. “I was just telling Becca that the shirt isn’t her style at all. Way to encourage her to spend a fortune on it, though, sis.” He pats her shoulder and walks to his room.

“Jackass,” she calls after him.

“He’s right.”

She narrows her eyes at me and pushes me into her room. “He so is not. That top looks amazing.”

“Yeah, but it’s not for me. I could buy five t-shirts for the price of this one.”

“Not more of your t-shirts.” She moans and flops on her bed.

“Toby likes them.” Why did I just say that to her? I instantly tense up.

She lifts her head to look at me. “Since when do you care what my brother thinks?”

I shrug. “I didn’t say I did, but he agrees with me.” I turn around and pull the shirt over my head. I quickly slip my wet t-shirt back on. “This is me. Take me or leave me.”

She rolls her eyes. “As long as it’s what you really think and not just you going along with what Toby says. Why everyone always thinks he’s the perfect twin and takes his side…” She shakes her head, dismissing the thought. “Whatever. Don’t we have some trig to do?”

“Unfortunately.” I sit down on her bed and open her book. I forgot to bring mine. No wonder I’m not doing well in that class.

We spend the next hour going over the unit, and it still makes no sense to me. Out of the twenty problems we have for homework, I can only answer four, and I’m pretty sure they’re all wrong.

“This is hopeless.”

“Why don’t you ask Mr. Rollar for extra help after school?”