“Be quiet,” Tesla says. “I do not wish to make the scarring worse.”

Benjamin rises to peer over my shoulder and draws air through his teeth. “What did they do?”

“Core samples.”

Shocked, Benjamin sits and returns the straw to my lips. “Deep tissue. She’s too young. She’ll be permanently scarred.”

“Robert likes to remind me he was against the reforms,” Tesla says, clipping his words as he dries my wounds.

I hesitate, still taken aback by his gruff retort. “What reforms?”

He doesn’t answer, concentrating on applying fresh dressings. I look to Benjamin who frowns. “Counsellor Tesla advocates for Asset rights. He was part of the committee that ended forced commercial use of Shields and introduced limits on torture in ReProg.”

“Limits …”

“He also developed the Deactivation Program.” Benjamin levels a chilling glare that makes me shrink inside.

“I didn’t know they would shut it down.” I turn my head but can’t catch Tesla’s gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s not fair.”

“Fairness is of no relevance to the Affinity Project,” Tesla says. “Robert was waiting for an excuse. You supplied it.” He closes my gown and helps roll me onto my back. It’s tender but the agony is gone. I’m finally able to see his fierce expression and can’t tell if it’s directed at me or his thoughts of Counsellor Knox.

“I did not want you brought in for Orientation until we had solved the problem of your brother. That is why I initiated Early Detection Studies, to buy us more time.”

Stunned stupid, my ears fill with a hollow roar.

“You have acted hastily where your brother is concerned. You should have listened to your aunt and stayed out of it.”

Aunt. There’s warning in the weight of it. What? He’s worried I’ll let slip in front of Benjamin that Miriam’s my mother? Half-strangled, I say, “I didn’t … I didn’t know that. Why didn’t she just tell me?”

“She would be unwilling to put incriminating information in your head that could be Harvested and used against you or Aiden.”

Protecting me. Always protecting me. Carrying the weight of everything for my sake, for Aiden. It breaks me in two thinking of yet more pointless suffering and sacrifice in her life and I’m the one who’s made it futile, by jumping the gun and then getting myself caught. I can barely whisper. “I didn’t want Miriam to get in trouble. I wanted them to blame me. I wanted to keep her out of it.”

“Yes.” Deep furrows form in his brow. “You are just like her.”

We stare at each other and I can’t tell if he’s angry at me or angry in general and I think perhaps it’s both. All I can think to say is, “Aiden has deactivated.”

Benjamin makes a hissing sound.

Tesla grinds his teeth. “It is very difficult to prove now that he is a fugitive.”

“I had evidence. You saw that in the Harvest. Davis destroyed it!”

Benjamin stands abruptly, clapping the glass on the side table, sloshing water onto the floor. “What did you expect?”

Tesla gives him a sharp look. “Did he?”

“I did.” Benjamin grunts. “Jamie is my friend. She put his sister in the path of her Stray. She helped him escape. It’s a – a despicable act, an unthinkable violation of everything we stand for and I can’t believe, sir, that you would disagree.”

“Mr Nelson,” Tesla enunciates with ominous care, “I am most seriously disappointed to hear this.”

Benjamin flinches but holds his ground.

“You have interfered with an investigation that is of high personal value to me and to the future of this organisation.”

I stare up at Tesla, my desire to stab Benjamin momentarily interrupted. “He has? It is?”

“When your aunt contacted me with a request for assistance, I will not deny that I struggled to believe her account of Aiden’s transformation. Robert was not exaggerating when he told you there is no cure for the Stray mutation. We have no evidence of it ever happening in the history of the Affinity Project. However, your aunt had enough confidence in my commitment to Deactivation Research to know I would at least have an open mind and investigate the possibility.”

Benjamin looks aghast. “You believe her?”

“I believe it is worth investigating. A blood sample would have been extremely useful.” His eyes fall again on me. “Our only option is to convince the Executive to allow us to bring Aiden in for testing.”

“No,” I cry, remembering the room full of Shields in the mess hall and the feral response when Davis denounced me as a traitor to the Project. “You can’t bring him here - they’ll tear him apart.”

“You must have had a plan,” Tesla says, his jaw clenched. “Miriam told me about this Doctor Sullivan. What did you think would happen after you got the results?”

I press my mouth closed. No. I’m not talking about it in front of Benjamin and how can I even be sure about Tesla? I saw the memory of him in ReProg; he could be brainwashed and working for Knox. He could be pretending to be an ally when really he’s just trying to get information that will lead them to Aiden so they can “eliminate” another Stray for the sake of their Primary Objectives. If only I could speak to Miriam and know for sure.

“I want to see my aunt. I need to know if she’s okay.”

He lowers his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You cannot see Miriam and as I told you, she is not okay. She is in very great danger of slipping into stasis.”

“What – what does that mean?”

“Failure to yield during Harvest prolongs exposure to the Symbiosis, causing damage to the cerebral cortex. The Proxy was permitted to override your aunt’s defences. It is a dangerous practice that I have campaigned against, but the Executive allows it in serious investigations. She would not answer any questions about you or your brother. During the override her mind shut down – self-preservation.”

High-pitched ringing in my ears returns. I can’t feel my hands or feet. “Shut down? What – she’s unconscious … like a coma?”

“Close enough.”

I press my palms to my numb face. I did this. I did this to her. “Will she come round?”

“I do not know. She is in our intensive care unit.” His eyes bore into mine. “It need not be in vain if you tell me where your brother is. I will go and test him myself.”

Splintered with regret and uncertainty, I say it through my teeth. “I don’t know where he is.”

“Do you at least know where my sister is?” A voice, low and rasping from the back of the room. Jamie.

BLAME

Jamie leans against the doorframe, his bloodshot eyes riveted on me. Bare chest, bare feet, pale blue scrubs riding low on his hips, his hair shorn to a “disciplinary” quarter-inch, lending a brutal quality to his cheekbones and jaw. He takes shuffling steps forwards, red grooves around his wrists, a red welt across his chest where the chair restraints have dug into his skin.

“Jamie.” Tesla turns to him. “You must lie down.”

Jamie doesn’t hear him, his eyes widening over me, my hair, my gown, my bandaged wrists. Something like dismay crosses his face. Maybe concern. A brief flare of emotion before he remembers his rage and his face hardens to flint.

“You’re too weak,” Tesla says.

“I’m fine.” But the effort of crossing the room leaves him sweating; it beads his torso and his arms tremble when he leans on the back of a chair at the end of the bed.

His scent and signal torture me. I can’t look at him, too angry, too guilty to trust my face not to show it all, too embarrassed about my hair and the state of my body. On the counter behind Tesla, glass test tubes begin to dance in their wire holders.

Everybody looks at the jangling vials and then at me.

I close my eyes but the high-pitched ringing doesn’t pass. Not now. Calm down.

“What is that?” Benjamin asks.