I wanted to wrap my arms around him to comfort him but he spoke again. "I remember the last time, like it was yesterday." Oh, God. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and my heart broke for this man. "I was waiting by the door when that cruiser pulled into our driveway only it wasn't my dad this time. It was the chief and some other officer. I stared at them through the glass door as they told my mom that my dad wasn't coming home." A tear rolled down his cheek.

"He'd been caught in crossfire at a robbery. He was hit in the head. You know I've always thought about the bullet proof best they wear while their head is unprotected." He paused a moment and stared down at his feet. "I watched my mom fall to her knees on the sidewalk as she screamed and cried. They were finally able to help her inside, but I remember that I couldn't move. It was like I was frozen in place. I remember screaming in my head, but no sound was coming out of my mouth. My voice was gone. I didn't speak again for a whole year. Not one sound." He said, looking up to meet my eyes. His blue eyes were full of pain and sorrow.

"Levi, I'm so sorry," I said, reaching out and touching his arm. "I-I don't even . . ." He interrupted me before I could finish my sentence.

"My mom took me to all kinds of doctors, therapist and speech specialist, but nothing helped. One therapist said that my inability to speak was my way of dealing with the shock of losing my dad. Said, it was kind of like PTSD in a child even though I didn't witness the actual shooting. I just remembered how my mom fell apart. He was my world. I looked up to him in every way. I wanted to be just like him, but my world was turned upside down and I didn't know how to deal with it. All I knew was that he was there for breakfast and after that . . . He was gone. I never had the chance to tell him how much I loved him. I never got to say goodbye."

"Mom would lie down with me at night and sing me to sleep. I remember how comforting and peaceful her voice was to me. And then she walked into my room one day while I was playing with my Legos and was singing one of the bedtime songs that she always sang to me." He looked away for a moment and took another deep breath. "I still remember the smile on her face. She wrapped me in her arms and cried happy tears."

"She enrolled me in some music classes, where I took voice lessons and learned to play the guitar. It was a form of therapy for me and it stuck. I found my voice and I've never had such peace as I do when I'm singing. I sing knowing that it makes her happy." He sat his stainless steel travel mug on the ground and roughly scrubbed his palms over the knees of his worn jeans before resting his elbows on his knees and pulling at his blond hair desperately.

"I can't believe that I'm losing her too." He turned his head and blue eyes met my gray ones as a tear rolled down his cheek. "What did I do to deserve this?" His voice cracked with pain as he uttered the words and my heart broke into a million pieces for him. How could he possibly think that his mother being sick had anything to do with him? He stood from the rock where we were sitting at stared out over the pond where the baby ducks now swam in a circle.

“I owe her everything. She devoted her entire life to me and what did I give her in return? A bunch of stories in the tabloids about how much of a screw up her son turned out to be. She knows all about my drinking and whoring around. The fights I've been in, why? Because I'm a selfish asshole, and now, I'm losing her to cancer—Fucking Cancer! She doesn't deserve this. She lost my father, her soul mate and then devoted her life to giving me everything that I could ever want or need and this is how she's repaid. I let myself get caught up in lifestyle of the rich and famous and only worried about what me, myself and I. I'm as fucking low as they come." He said and chucked a rock at a low hanging branch that hung out over the water.

"It should be me lying in that bed suffering right now, not her. I'm fucking angry—angry with Cancer and angry with God. How could he let this happen to her? She's had to sit back and watch my life spiral out of control through the tabloids and the paparazzi. I haven't even had the decency to pick up the phone and call my saint of a mother in months! Do you think she's held that against me? No! Do you know what she said to me this morning? She took my hand and told me how proud she was of me. She said that all she wanted for me, was to find love and to be happy, the way she and my dad were." He stared into my eyes, his breath ragged, as tears streamed down his cheeks.

I took his hands in mine, laced our fingers together, and gave them a little squeeze to ensure that I had his attention. "How could you ever think that any of this is because of you? Your dad didn't die because of you and your mom didn't get cancer because you became a famous rock star. Your dad was a brave man who went to a job every day to serve and protect. It's a horrible thing, which happened to him, but he died doing something that he loved and felt passionate about which was protecting others and your mother didn't get cancer because of the spotlight that you live under. Just like my mother being a strung out meth-head has nothing to do with the fact that I left home to better my life and Levi, you've changed from the rock star you started out to be. You're not that man anymore. You're kind, caring and giving and I could go on and on, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that, 'bad things happen to good people.

“We can't control any of it; it's not in our power to do so. Levi, she knows you love her. She's never doubted it for a minute. She's proud of the man you've become. She told you that herself. What you need to do for her now is just be there." He lifted one of my hands, kissed the inside of my wrist, and looked at me with dull, blue eyes, eyes filled with unshed tears.

"I love you Peyton." He leaned his forehead against mine and another tear rolled down his stubbly cheek.

"I love you too, Levi." I wiped away a tear with my thumb. "I'm here for you and your mom. You know that, right? Whatever you need me to do . . ." His mouth crashed down on mine and he pulled me onto his lap.

"Never leave me," he requested against my lips.

"Never," I repeated. I didn't know how long we sat there on that rock, just holding onto each other, but the sun was high in the sky and it's rays beat down on us in full force. "We should probably head back to check on your mom. The nurse is probably there by now and I'm sure you'll want to discuss your mom's treatment plan with her."

"Yeah, you're right. I also want to talk to my mom to let her know that I spoke with her doctor and that I now know everything that she was afraid to tell me." He said, his voice coming out strained as he shoved our things into the empty backpack. "I need to call Jinx to and let the guys know what's going on." I grabbed his hand and we walked back to the four-wheeler in silence. Once we arrived back at the house, I went to my room to catch up on some work and gave Levi and his mom time alone.

Levi

I stood outside my mom's bedroom door for what seemed like hours before I worked up the courage to knock.

"Come in." I heard her say.

When I stepped into the room, she looked even frailer than she did earlier. Her skin more yellowed and there were now dark circles under her eyes. "Is there anything that I can get for you, mom?" I walked over and sat on the side of the bed where she was propped up on two pillows, thumbing through an old tabloid magazine. The kind of magazine you buy from the racks closest to the register.