His fingers spread when I laced mine with his. For a second I thought his fingers were going to stay like that and I’d be left hanging, but then he softened. His fingers folded around mine and he sighed a deep breath. A defeated, deep breath. “What if there wasn’t anything malicious about it. What if I gave someone a lift, or something? Something simple, because I’m a good person, and nothing else. Did you ever think about that?”

I sat up a little when Rowan choked on salt water. She was fine, but a fight was born.

“Rowan coughed on me. Tell her she has to cover her mouth.” Ophelia didn’t give me time tell her anything. She scoped up a mouthful of water and spit in right on her arm. One steady stream. Of course that sent Rowan into a frenzy.

I raised up, letting go of Paxton’s hand and shook my head. “Oh, my God. You go take care of that.”

“Do that whistle thing.”

“It stopped working after the third time. Go, before someone gets drowned.”

Paxton leap-frogged my head and growled like a bear. Crooked fingers for scary bear claws. That did it. Both girls screamed and took off running in different directions. Ophelia was caught first. Her little body bounced below Paxton’s arms while he ran after screaming, Rowan. I smiled after them, feeling. Hmm. Happy?

“Out with the family. How nice.”

My hand shielded the bright sun and I looked up. White sneakers, blue running shorts, and a plain white T-shirt.

“I texted you,” I blurted out. Maybe because I knew I didn’t have much time.

“Yeah, I know. Don’t do it again. You look better. How are you feeling,” Lane questioned, his tone changing with distance Paxton closed between us.

“I’m feeling much better, thank you,” I said with the same exact fake tone. What the hell?

“Lane, how’s it going, man?” Paxton said with an extended hand. The men shook hands and I watched cautiously, looking for any sign of stress. It was there. No doubt. I could read fakeness miles away. This entire neighborhood was fake.

Paxton and Lane talked about the last ballgame, stroking their own egos as they boasted about wins and losses. You would have thought they were talking about the super bowl.

“I’ll see ya later, dude. Candace has us going to some play in the city tonight. Wish me luck.”

“Yeah, good luck. See ya.”

Paxton resumed his position behind me and kissed the back of my head. I wished a million times over I could see his expression, his eyes. I needed to read his face after that conversation.

“You don’t like him either, do you?”

“Lane? Yeah, he’s alright. I don’t like his wife.”

“Why?”

Paxton leaned back on his elbows and changed the subject. “It doesn’t matter. What have you planned for Ophelia’s party? She’s starting to get pretty excited about it. I want it to be bigger than Chance’s.”

“Yeah, about that. What if we just went away? Just us. A family birthday.”

“I doubt it if Ophelia’s going to go for that. She wants a princess party with Bella. Get over this bullshit with the neighbors and plan a party. Learn to keep your mouth shut and you wouldn’t have to worry about people talking about you. That’s why you shut up when we’re in public. That’s why you don’t talk about our personal life with other people. There’s some things I’m just not going to permit. That’s one of them.” Paxton sat back up and brushed his hands up and down my arms.

I turned on him. One knee in his crotch and one over his hip. His body was forced back to his elbows when my lips pushed his. “I’m cool with that. Let’s go away for Phi’s birthday.” I didn’t wait for a response. I parted his lips with my tongue and dropped my weight to his. Both his hands went up my shirt and around my back. We made out like two teens in love. For a brief moment there was nothing else. Just Paxton and me. I could hear the girls laughing, and the waves crashing behind us, but it was still only us. Paxton and me in alone in the moment.

I gasped from the cold. Ophelia’s wet body fell to my legs and Rowans landed on my back. Paxton grabbed all three of us in one quick scoop. His fingers dug into my hip bone and I thrashed, trying to use Rowan as a human shield. He tickled her, too, sending her body crashing into mine. Ophelia escaped and tried like hell to roll him off us. Her body was sent into a laughing frenzy next with stiff fingers to her hipbone.

Lane staring at us in a distance, broke the moment. It was the weirdest thing ever. Like he was pissed at me. I could see the distaste on his face when he blew out a puff of air and walked away, shaking his head in disgust. My eyes went to Paxton’s next. He glanced in the direction of my distraction and back to me.

“Come on, munchkins, bath time,” Paxton said in a sad tone, eyes right on mine. Paxton knew something, or at least he felt it, but what? What did I do? I mean, surely I wasn’t stupid enough to cheat on a man like Paxton. He’d kill me.

I saw Lane, running in a distance when Paxton pulled me to my feet.

“I read where some of these cases can stay dormant for years because the patient doesn’t want to remember. Usually because of a trauma, but not always. Just saying,” Paxton said with a shrug and an open hand toward the path.

I took a deep sea breath, filling my lungs with a push. That’s how it felt. It didn’t matter that we both felt the pull. That unquestionable attraction that kept us tangled in this web of deception. Something stronger always pushed us apart.

That’s the way it was with Paxton and me. One step forward and two leaps back.

Paxton tried like hell to revert to dick-headedness. I wouldn’t let him. Not with the girls. That was bullshit. As soon as they were in the tub, he ordered me to my room to shower and wait for him.

I refused. “No, you’re not doing that, Paxton. You heard me tell Phi, I’d read the shoe book. I’m reading the shoe book and then I will wait for you in my room.

Paxton jerked my arm and squeezed hard. “You’ll fucking do what you’re told when I tell you.”

His angry words through gritted teeth did little for my submission. Not this time. I couldn’t even see a filter, let along control it. My fingers tried to ease the hold around my arm and I spit. Right in his face. Both his eyes closed and then opened. Oh shit.

The pain from his grip loosened when he removed it to wipe his face with his shirt. I didn’t move. I stood perfectly still, waiting for the inevitable. Paxton would kill me dead.

“Get the fuck away from me before I knock your teeth down your throat.”

“Paxton, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Gabriella?”

I smiled a sad smile and stepped around him. I felt so lost. One minute I was happy and content, and the next this. “Head injury,” I said while shrugging both shoulders. I stepped away and went to the kitchen.

Two glasses of milk and four Graham crackers waited for Rowan and Ophelia on the table. I pulled my butt to the counter and waited for them, trying to figure things out. Any things. I didn’t care what. Something just had to fall together. A memory from somewhere other than before Paxton. Whatever went on with Lane would have been nice.

Rowan showed up for her snack wrapped in a towel, and Phi came with her pajama-shorts twisted to one side and no shirt. I smiled at both of them without a word. They both climbed to the stools in front of me and bit into Graham crackers. The girls talked about seeing a snake when they walked to the shop earlier with their dad. That was before the blink of an eye. When Paxton wasn’t angry.

“I don’t get Graham crackers and milk?” Paxton asked, interrupting my trance. I was focused on Row and Phi. At how different they were from me and my sister. So far, I hadn’t had one memory of being angry with her. I loved her with my whole heart. Of course Rowan and Ophelia did, too, but man could they ever fight.