Was I too thin? Was my chest too flat? Was my ass too flabby? Oh, God… What if my ankles were ashy?

I discreetly did a quick check of my ankles. All seems to be properly moisturized.

Frustrated, I ran my hand through hair and stared down at the floor. I was acting like a complete nitwit. This wasn’t our first time together. Not even close.

With a light push of his hand, I was flat on my back, looking up at his smirking face. The sound of his belt unbuckling and his zipper lowering made my core clench with need. His gray eyes were glowing with a possession, and from the predatory look on his face, I knew he was going to eat me alive… and I wouldn’t have the good sense to stop him.

“Wait.”

His eyebrow rose at my hesitation. “Do you think you’re really able to tell me no?” he asked as he crawled over my body that had already gone lax in submission.

“I thought you didn’t ask questions you already know the answer to?” His hands ran up my thighs while he sat on his haunches above me causing me to lose the rest of my words, but I still managed to hold his gaze.

“You’ve become a hard person to read these days,” he admitted and looked none too pleased about it.

“I don’t want to want you. Is that clear enough for you?” We glared at each other in our typical fashion of foreplay, and I would be damned if it didn’t get me hotter than the dirtiest words or the softest touches.

“Spread your legs for me,” he ordered, breaking the silence. “You can still hate me now and pretend again in the morning.”

“What would I be pretending?”

“That you aren’t mine.” He lifted my leg around his waist and slid inside me in a single, smooth motion that drew out a gasp of pleasure and pain. I’d forgotten how big he was…

“Quiet now,” he mocked to cover up his low groan. “You wouldn’t want your dear aunt to hear.”

I pressed my hand against his chest to stop him, and even though I wasn’t strong enough to actually stop him, he paused and waited anyway. “Before this goes any further, I want you to agree to two things.”

“My cock is already inside you, Monroe,” he rolled his eyes, appearing annoyed. “This is hardly the time to make demands.”

“You either hear them and agree or get off me, get out, and never speak to me again. I will only agree to one night. Take it or leave it.”

“Is that one of your demands?”

“Call it a prelude.”

“Go on,” he answered warily.

“First, I want you to stay away from my aunt and stay away from Willow. You don’t use them against me, at all.”

“What—”

“It’s non-negotiable.”

“Fine. Agreed. You drive a hard bargain.” His voice oozed sarcasm.

“I’m not finished.”

“What is your heart’s desire?” he sneered.

I lifted my upper body enough to bite into his chin and whispered as seductively as I could manage, “I want you to make love to me.”

That was a mistake.

He reared back as if I’d slapped him and stared down at me with an unreadable expression. “Come again?”

A little of my confidence dissolved at the sudden chilly vibe I was getting from him. His body had gone rigid, and his jaw clenched and unclenched as the silence stretched between us.

“For once, I want to have sex and not be treated as an object.”

Some unnamed emotion changed his features, and then he was gone. My body mourned the loss of his, as I suddenly felt cold and just a little foolish. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that this is what I wanted.

“An object? You think I treat you like an object?”

“I don’t think, Keiran. When this all began, you used me as some sick pawn for your misplaced anger and need for revenge. Where do we stand now?”

“It’s sex, Monroe,” he answered as he pulled on his jeans. “We fuck. That’s what we do. Don’t romanticize it.”

“You don’t mean it,” I said even as tears welled up in my eyes.

“You don’t know me well enough to tell me what I mean. I may not hate you anymore, but nothing has changed.”

“Everything has changed. Why can’t you see that?” He ignored me as he pulled on his shirt. Suddenly, I was very aware of the fact that I was naked and quickly used as much of the bed sheets that were accessible to cover up.

“I see everything. It’s why I’m telling you this,” he motioned between the two of us, “is a mistake. What you’re trying to create will never happen.”

“What gives you the right to choose the boundaries of our relationship? You think you can control what happens between us by being a dick, but I know you care about me. Sooner or later, your feelings are going to catch you.”

“There’s nothing to catch. I’m only trying to right a wrong.”

“Screw right or wrong. You don’t give a damn about doing the right thing. You never did.”

“Well, I like to think I’m an advocate of new beginnings,” he replied sarcastically.

“I agree. I think maybe it’s time I start dating.” When his eyes cut to me, and a look darker than I’ve ever seen clouded his features, I knew I had him. A small smile tugged at my lips, but I concealed it with a frown. I didn’t stop to think of the consequences of baiting him. “You know… the more I think about it, the better the idea sounds… I’m sure there are plenty of guys who wouldn’t mind fucking me… nice and slow… over and over. Oh, the possibilities! We could—”

I was face down and nearly suffocated by the bed sheets. I barely noticed my hips being yanked into the air. However, the slap to my bum made me painfully conscious of that very fact. The sound of his belt loosening, and then first one and then the other of my hands were yanked behind me. The familiar leather of the belt was smooth on my skin as he wrapped it around my wrists. I was bound and bare before I could gather my wits or catch my breath. “Keiran, what are you doing?” I gasped.

“I want you to repeat what you just said to me.”

Shit. “Huh?”

Another hard slap to my ass was my answer. “Repeat.”

“This is ridiculous,” I spat while trying to control the trembles of my body. “Untie me and get out.”

“You don’t want me to leave, Monroe.”

“And how do you know that? Believe it or not, your company isn’t all that pleasant.”

“Because you would have kept your mouth shut. Now repeat what you said to me.”

“I can’t remember,” I pouted petulantly even though he couldn’t see.

“You can’t remember, huh?” His hands ran up the length of my back slowly until he came to grip my ponytail. “Should I remind you then?”

I peeked over my shoulder in time to see his hand lower his zipper. I lost my breath to the anticipation. I felt him inside me already tonight, but I needed to feel him own me. I wouldn’t deny myself a second time.

I waited with barely concealed excitement for him to bare himself to me, but he moved his hand away to strip off his shirt, leaving his jeans open. “Wait here,” he ordered unnecessarily. Where would I go? 

His footsteps retreated the short distance to my dresser and pulled open the third drawer. Oh, no… he couldn’t know, could he? I watched him lift my clothing to unveil the shiny black and yellow vibrator neatly lying at the bottom. I bought it on a whim a week after he was sent back to jail, but never used it. How did he know it was there?

“Imagine my surprise when I found you have a kinky side. How many times have you used this to touch yourself?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Did you think of me when you pleasured yourself?”

“I didn’t think of you at all because I didn’t use it. It was a stupid impulse buy.”

A wicked smile spread across his lips as he picked up the small bottle of lube Sheldon and Willow insisted I get. “Not anymore.”

“What?” Without answering, he moved toward the bed and grabbed my hair, pulling my head back. His sudden assault on my lips was hard and combustible as he devoured me.

“I’m going to make you come so hard,” he whispered harshly against my lips after he finally came up for air. “Is that what you want?”