“How’s it hanging, man?” Dash greeted as he walked through the front entrance where I was hanging. It was a little early, but I wanted to beat Monroe at her own game. I wanted to know the exact moment when she walked through these doors.
“A little lower and a little to the right…” I stopped short when I realized what I was saying. That was usually Keenan’s line and a standing joke between the two of them. I scowled at Dash, who only smirked at me, unfazed by my anger.
“I miss him, too,” Dash offered.
“What the fuck are you doing, Dash?”
“Not pretending he’s already dead,” he barked.
“Fuck off. I’m not in the mood for your shit.”
“You need to talk to him. You sneak in and out of his hospital room trying to protect him, and yet you haven’t spoken one word to him.”
“How about I put one in your mother’s head and see if you would be ready to engage me in conversation.”
I never saw the blow to my face coming. Hell, I could barely see after his fist impacted with my face, snapping my neck to the right. “Too fucking far,” Dash gritted.
I didn’t apologize. I wouldn’t. He knew that, so I let him have his pound of flesh without retaliating.
“I don’t know what went on in your fucking past, but at some point, you are going to have to man the fuck up and leave it in the past. It’s getting old, man. It’s getting real old. Whoever they made you to be doesn’t have to survive.”
Usually, I didn’t give a shit what someone thought or the invaluable shit they had to say, but he always knew where to strike.
I straightened from the wall and met his eyes, matching his stance. It wasn’t about who the bigger man was. I just needed to see the truth in his eyes.
“How many people have you been forced to kill including your own fucking mother? How many days have you starved? How many nightmares have you had? How many people have you been forced to fuck as a child?”
“None,” he answered in a hard tone. Dash was a hard person to shake. It was one of the reasons why I respected him the most even though I had a shitty way of showing it.
“So, if you ever have to do even one of those things, then you can let me know when it gets old.”
“That was ten years ago, Keiran. If you want to continue to live your life as if you are still someone’s fucking slave, then do so. You’re capable of making your own choices. I’m only allowed to care about you, but at some point, you have to stop inflicting your own personal form of punishment on the people close to you.”
He stalked off and disappeared down the hall.
Dash never usually called me out on my shit, but when he did, it only served to make me angrier. Self-righteous asses like him were what made me hold on tighter to who I was. I gave up on trying to be good a long time ago. It was a hopeless pursuit for people who weren’t born with it. Arthur was the one to teach me that the first time I met him…
I felt like I had bathed in blood. My face, hair, and hands were covered in it, but it didn’t belong to me. The bound, nameless man, whose throat I just cut open, stared up at me with lifeless eyes. Each time I took someone’s life, I would start to feel guilt, and each time, I beat it down. It had been a year now since I made my first kill. I was still considered in ‘training’, as they called it, because of my age and size. Frank said I wouldn’t be ready to be on my own until I was far older, and this was just a mere introduction.
It already felt so very real.
The beginning had been rocky, and I suffered countless beatings. I could never understand what they wanted me to do. Sometimes, even now, it was a little hard to understand. I would do what they ordered me to do when they ordered me to do it.
I didn’t dare tell them about the nightmares. They would see it as a weakness and beat me for it.
I was learning, they called it. I was progressing. I saw kids far away who lived a different life. Sometimes I wondered what that life was like. I would learn about it when they brought in new kids. They would often talk about their parents, siblings, and home. It made me wonder about this life. Was there something better? Didn’t everyone live like this?
“Good job, son. You show much promise.”
An unknown man stepped out of the shadows dressed in a shiny suit. I took in his clean appearance, and the way everyone seemed to snap to attention when he made his presence known and figured he must have been the boss Frank spoke about often.
“Sir?”
“You see that?” he pointed to the dead man who was bleeding out on the floor. “Good people have no place in this world so we must eradicate them. Only the strongest survive, and to be strong, you have to be ruthless and prey on the weak. Do you understand?”
I nodded that I did even though I didn’t. I would ask one of the older kids later.
“You did a good thing here. This man was a rat. He was a disease that had to be cut off before it could spread, and you did that. What is your name, little one?”
“He doesn’t have one,” Frank spoke up. “We just call him slave.”
“Even better,” the man grinned, evilly. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you. You’re smarter than the rest and willing to work, is what they tell me. Tell me… how do you like our line of business?”
* * *
“Mr. Masters, you’re late. I expected you thirty minutes ago,” Mrs. Gilmore admonished when I stepped foot inside her office. I’d waited for Monroe well past the first bell for class, but she never showed. I sent a quick text to her and told myself I wasn’t worried. I was annoyed that she denied me my morning fix by not showing up.
“Well, I’m here now so say what you have to say and let’s get this shit over with,” I snapped.
I normally wasn’t rude to the school staff, but my patience was long gone. Monroe’s absence was just the thing to send me over the edge.
“All right. You won’t have a future at the rate you’re going this year. When college is no longer an option so is basketball. Lucky for you, you’ve been a somewhat of an outstanding student these past three years… academically. You’ve been jailed twice already, and you are looking to fail another year if you don’t button up. So far, your future is promising if you are looking to pursue a career in the penitentiary. If that is what you want, then a high school diploma isn’t what you need and you are wasting my time. I realize you have a lot going on considering the tragic accident with your cousin—”
“My brother,” I snarled.
“Excuse me?” She stared at me with shock etched on her face.
“He’s my fucking brother. If you are going to talk about my family as if you have a fucking clue, then speak correctly. He’s my brother.”
“Well, I—”
“Never mind all that. Continue. You were telling me how I’m a waste without a future.”
It took her a few moments to pick her face up before she spoke. “Yes, well, not in exactly those words, Mr. Masters. What I am trying to say is you are a smart young man and a leader. Whether you know it or not, there are people who look to you. Is this the kind of example you want to set for your peers?”
What the hell was up with people telling me what I needed to do today? “Well, then, I’d say they have a bad judge of character, and it should be them you need to speak to.”
“Nevertheless, you are on your last strike. There are no more chances, Mr. Masters. I suggest you heed this warning. You may go.”
I didn’t waste any time leaving her office. After her condescending speech, I had half a mind to skip, but that would just be petty. My phone vibrated in my jeans, and I quickly fished it out.
As I recall, my whereabouts are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Kindly fuck off.
I smiled and pocketed my phone without replying. Monroe continued to dig her hole and I let her. When she finally realizes she’s dug too deep, she’ll be too far in to escape. It didn’t stop me from going after her though. I still needed to feed my addiction. It was time to change classes, and so it took me a little longer than I liked as I tried to dodge the unwanted attention and ignore the wary looks from some of the other students. I wasn’t surprised most of them had heard by now how I was suspected of Trevor and Anya’s murder. I was almost sorry I wasn’t the one to do it.