“You should ask him. It would be nice to say hello. I’m hoping John can make it so perhaps you can meet him, too,” she said, lightness in her tone, because, of course, she had nothing to hide.
Unlike him.
His chest clenched. He muttered a silent curse as he reached her building. Now would be a great time to admit he’d already met her brother, had been questioned by him at police headquarters about his father’s murder, and then received a phone call from him, hunting for more details about his mother’s straying ways.
Honestly though, telling her about the connection to her brother wasn’t the hard part. What felt insurmountable was what it meant—if he told her he knew John, he’d have to tell her about his parents. He’d have to give voice to how his family had been blasted to pieces one night when he was only fourteen.
He’d never told someone he’d dated. He’d never wanted to.
But here in the driveway of her building, nearing midnight, after the most mind-blowing sex of his life, was not the moment to dive into the past. He needed to figure out how to tell her without fucking everything up. His experience in saying the right thing was terribly limited for many reasons—he didn’t get close to people, and he didn’t speak of matters no one else needed to know.
Trust was a screwed-up promise.
Intimacy was a lie.
Love wasn’t real.
She’d shared so much though, and he had to figure out how to do the same.
He said good night and headed for his home, taking his dog for a midnight run to glean some answers. But an hour of hard exercise under the stars didn’t illuminate his own path any better, so when he got into bed with his dog curled up on top of the covers, only one thing was clear.
He was fucked.
Because he liked her more than he’d ever intended. That first night with Sophie he’d gone in armed with every intention of keeping things only physical. The second time, too. Hell, he’d tried to do as much tonight. But his intentions were futile. He wanted this woman with a desire that burned away everything in its path. That consumed his brain cells. That chained up his heart. And for the first time ever, he felt the flicker of something awfully dangerous. So dangerous it made him start to use words.
Words that mattered.
Words that came from that organ inside him that had gone on lockdown many years ago.
Words that could mean the start of something more.
from: [email protected]
date: July 17, 1:13 AM
subject: You
You are exquisite.
He tossed his phone on his nightstand and dragged a hand through his hair, dreading the moment that was barreling down on him.
He ran a hand between Johnny Cash’s soft ears. “Where do I go from here, buddy? Tell me that.”
The dog licked his face.
“Ha. Already done that. That’s not the problem whatsoever.”
Chapter Seventeen
Becky waited for him on the front porch, shielding her eyes from the early morning sun.
Ryan cut the engine on his truck, hopped out of the cab, and made eye contact with his dog, pointing to the house. “Go inside, Johnny Cash,” he said, and the dog followed the command, leaping out of the front seat and scurrying across the yard. He parked himself at Becky’s feet and wagged his tail at rocket speed.
“Aww, you’re such a sweet boy. Give me a kiss,” Becky said, cooing at the dog as Ryan walked across the yard and joined her on the steps.
“Watch it. He’s a crazy kisser. He can’t help himself around the ladies,” Ryan said, lowering his shades and wrapping his arms around Becky.
“’Course he can’t. He has good taste,” Sanders said.
Ryan looked up to see Sanders open the door and join his wife on the porch. “Hey. Didn’t expect to see you at the crack of dawn,” Ryan said.
His dad’s friend puffed up his chest in his faded blue short-sleeve button-down with his name stitched on the right-hand side. “I’m still a working man for a few more months. And it’s a Wednesday.”
“Right. Of course,” Ryan said then turned back to Becky. “Have fun with my boy today.”
“I will. You drive safely,” she said, patting him on the cheek, then headed inside with the dog.
Sanders walked Ryan to his truck. “You gonna be gone all day?”
Ryan nodded. While he could have left his dog home on a day like this—Johnny Cash was well trained—Becky liked having him around from time to time, so the dog-sitting worked for everyone. “Probably won’t be back until the evening. I need to take care of a few things in town before I take off.”
“You be careful. No speeding,” Sanders said with a wink.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Ryan said.
“Hey, Donald’s coming over later for poker. You can say hi to him when you pick up your dog,” Sanders said, mentioning another friend of his dad’s. The three men had been close buddies. For a brief moment, Ryan’s chest ached with the image of what tonight could have been. His dad should have been joining them this evening, playing poker, smoking cigars, having a beer.
He should have been doing so many things.
Hell, at this point, maybe his dad would even have met a new woman if he were still alive. Found someone else. Fallen in love again.
Ryan scoffed as he drove to the office, wondering how such a ridiculous notion had appeared in his head out of nowhere. Because love was a fucking lie.
* * *
He slapped the contract on his brother’s desk. “Boom. Done. Another deal for us,” he said, parking himself in the black leather chair in Michael’s office. Guitar-heavy rock music pulsed from the laptop. His brother used to play the electric guitar and had dabbled in rock bands in high school and college. A workaholic with little time to play now, he still assaulted his eardrums with his favorite tunes.
Michael arched an eyebrow. “You don’t say. Maybe I should keep you around.”
Ryan rolled his eyes. “Hey, fifty-fifty, I could say the same of you,” he said, meaning their joint ownership of Sloan Protection Resources.
“Yeah, I know. Just giving you a hard time.” Michael cast a cursory glance at the pages on his desk. He tapped his index finger against them. “Looks good. I see White Box is getting a full suite of security services. This is the company you met with in San Francisco a few weeks ago, right?”
Ryan nodded. He’d been slated to visit his mom in prison with Shannon at the time, but their mom had gotten the dates wrong, and Shannon wound up going solo. Ryan had been in San Francisco instead, meeting with the head of White Box, a guy named Charlie Stravinsky, and his right-hand man, Curtis. Charlie owned some restaurants, including a once-popular Chinese eatery, but had now converted them to private clubs, the kind that catered to gentleman with big wallets and hearty appetites for both women and bets. That kind of business needed security, and since White Box was expanding from San Francisco to Vegas, the firm had reached out to Ryan and Michael.
“And you said his VP of biz dev is coming in to sign the papers?”
“One p.m. today. Guy named Curtis,” Ryan said, tapping his watch. “He’s local here in Vegas. It’s on you for the final signatures. I worked on that deal all day Saturday and Sunday.”
“Aww, poor baby,” Michael said, breaking out an imaginary violin and running the bow across the strings.
“Whatever,” Ryan said, waving a hand dismissively. “Point being, I’m out of here the rest of the day.”
“You going to see 347-921?”
Michael didn’t even use their mom’s name, just her inmate number. At first it had rankled Ryan, and he’d told his brother as much. Use her name at least, he’d said. Michael never did, and Ryan had learned to let it go. Now, he was used to the way Dora Prince had been reduced to digits.