Shirley had come to see me once, back when I was still in the hospital. Bess turned her away at the door, but promised to call her and keep her posted from time to time. Although that was what Bess had said, I wasn’t sure if she’d followed through with it.

As Bess sat there lecturing me, alternately giving me a pep talk and then trying to make me feel guilty, emotion spiraled up my spine. I was sick of all the sappiness and wishful thoughts. I was going to murder someone, forget Jake.

Practically spitting fire, I finally spoke, letting Bess have it. “He looks fine to me. Jake. All buff and hot. Girls must be climbing all over him.”

Her eyebrows rose with surprise and she gaped at me. It was the most I’d spoken since the day I woke up with one and a half legs.

Giving her no time to respond, I shouted, “Look at me, I’m half a woman! I can’t compete with those gym girls, and Mr. Hard-body deserves better. A real woman, one who can get down on her knees or wrap her legs around his waist while he slams her into the wall.” Lowering my voice, I narrowed my eyes on her and said, “Did you know he likes to dominate, be in control? What about with a gimp?”

It was mean of me; I knew that. Bess didn’t need to hear about her brother-in-law’s sexual proclivities. I knew it was over the top, but I wanted her gone. A month’s worth of pent-up anger and self-pity spewed from my mouth as I sat up straighter, laying into Bess whether she deserved it or not.

“He needs a woman who works, uses her degree she fought to earn. Not a woman who hobbles like an old lady afraid to go back to work, one who’s scared and looks over her shoulder, worried that someone’s going to kidnap her again.”

Bess gave me a sad smile. “You are a whole woman, Aly. You are who Jake wants, not the girls at the gym. I’ve never seen him at peace until the few weeks you two were together and happy.”

The tears turned on again, a raging flood that ran down my face. “No. I don’t want to believe it.”

In my heart, I knew Jake was devoted and dedicated, but my brain couldn’t accept that. My emotions had reverted to the first few weeks I knew Jake, when I wanted to pretend there was nothing between us, that he wasn’t a sweet and kind man, and I was only having fun.

But what we had was so much more, almost right from the beginning. It had been a strange sequence of events, but they belonged to me, to us. The truth was, I loved the man, and for Jake’s sake, I couldn’t allow myself to get wrapped up in his life again, or allow Jake to get attached to me.

“I can’t listen to this,” I mumbled.

“Yes, you will,” Bess said with certainty. “Listen, you know I was an addict. I was beyond broken back then, and it took me years to get my life together. I get it; I get you. When I met Lane, I didn’t think I deserved him. And now I think, what if I didn’t have him, or our baby, or even James?”

Swiping at my wet cheeks, I let out a snotty snort. “That’s different. Look at you—you’re young, sexy, beautiful, making a difference in the world.” I pointed at her slight frame settled next to me.

“You’re all those things too,” she said.

Wildly I shook my head, pressing my lips together, refusing to engage in discussion.

Bess grabbed my arm and shook me. “Aly! You are not shutting down anymore. Stop it.”

I shrugged away from her hold and turned my face away from her. The goddamn tears came fierce and heavy, slanting in a hot trail down my cheek.

“You’re going back to Jake’s,” Bess said firmly. “His home, not the rental. Did you know he renovated a room in his basement? He brought equipment from the gym for you to rehab with. You’re going to get your life back, Aly. For you. For him. For me. He’s too afraid to ask you to live, to fight. He’s going through the motions, praying you’ll come around, and he needs you. He needs to take care of you.”

“Some days, I want to die,” I said, sobbing. “At first, I couldn’t stop thinking about living when I was stuck in that barn. Now I wish I’d died.”

Bess got up and lay down with me, curling her body around mine. “You are not going to die until you’re old, Aly. You’ve got a full life of living ahead of you.”

She stroked my hair as I sobbed, rocking me in her arms until I couldn’t cry anymore. We fell asleep like that, our breaths commingling, our bodies curled up together like kittens.

She was the sister I never had, the confidante I’d always dreamed of. Curled up in Bess Wrigley’s arms, I dreamed of growing old, like she said. In my dreams, I was gray and Jake was still fit and gorgeous, but his arm was flung around me, holding me close as he kissed my temple.

“Ladies.”

The bed depressed next to me. With one eye opened, I saw Jake. He was a mess. His hair was unruly, thick stubble lined his face, dark circles ringed his eyes, and new veins bulged along his biceps.

He looked terrible, and it crushed me that I hadn’t noticed his suffering, being so caught up in my own tragedy and all. Here was this guy I’d thought I was falling for, and despite my being a total nut, he cared for me. Yes, he was bossy, and swept me up into a whirlwind of a romance, going way overboard by moving me to a new place and buying us a dog.

But he’d made me want to live once. Could he do it again? Could I live a full and happy life like Bess said?

“I’m going to go,” Bess said in a hushed voice. Sweeping her dark hair behind her ear, she pushed off the bed and stood up, her eyes speaking clearly to me. Jake is a good man. She glanced at Jake and nodded before she slipped out of the room.

Jake took her place in the bed. I moved my right leg a little bit, letting the tingles escape. The phantom tingles tickled their way down my missing left leg, and I let them run their course. I knew they weren’t there, but I pretended I was whole for one moment.

“Aly, come back to me, babe.”

Settling in, he kicked off his running shoes and snuggled closer. “Come back to me. I love you.”

I love you?

Trembling, I lifted my hand to touch him but let it fall. He needs you, I told myself. So I lifted my hand again and brought it to Jake’s broad back, then drifted it in slow strokes up and down his spine. “I’m going to try to come back, Jake.”

Somewhere between declaring I wanted to die and falling asleep, I’d decided I wanted to live. I didn’t know if it was what Bess said or my dream that had changed me, but I was ready to live.

“Good,” he said, and snuggled closer.

As I stroked his back, I felt a lump under his shirt and panicked. “What is that?”

“It’s all good, Aly-cat.” He stood abruptly and tugged off his shirt, his movements sending his abs and arms rippling. He turned his back to me and reached over to rip a bandage off his shoulder blade.

I blinked, unsure what I was seeing was real. Tattooed across his shoulder blade was one of those silhouettes of a woman’s legs, except this one had one real leg and one with a prosthetic. It should have been ugly, but it wasn’t. It was very sexy. Red stiletto fuck-me heels adorned each foot, both the real one and the prosthetic, and underneath, Legs was written in a beautiful script.

“You ready to get your new leg, babe?”

Aly

“Shoot!” The bottle fell to the floor, sending bright orange lotion squirting everywhere except where I wanted. Deflated, I slammed my palm into the counter and grabbed my crutches. I let out a defeated sigh as I hobbled over to the stupid bottle, bending over on one foot to grab it, and cursing the fact I didn’t put on my damn prosthetic.

I needed a break from that mechanical hunk of junk. Of course, it was top of the line; I had government-employee health insurance. It still stank; it was ugly and foreign. And it wasn’t me. For God’s sake, all I wanted was to go into the damn bathroom and have some girl time without having to strap on my suit of armor.