I could make a million excuses and tell you a million lies, but the truth is I was a selfish coward. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you and your family, and if it were possible to go back in time, know I would do a lot of things differently. All except for giving birth to you.

The first time I saw your dad hold you, I knew that was what love was supposed to look like, and even though I was jealous at the time, I now understand how wrong I was for feeling that way.

I was lucky for a brief moment to see something so beautiful and to know I helped bring it to life.

I know we will never be close, and I have made peace with that, but I wish you the best and hope you find your own piece of beautiful.

XX Jules

“Oh, my God,” I breathe as tears fall onto the bottom of the shaking paper in my hands.

“That’s why she was here; she was bringing me that letter. Her mom found it in her belongings when she got her stuff back from the medical examiner,” he says, clenching his jaw.

Getting off the couch, I walk to where he’s sitting, settle myself on his lap, and then hold his face between my hands. “I’m so sorry, Babe,” I whisper, watching his eyes close briefly before meeting mine again.

“She saved my life, and because of her, you and Hope are still here.”

“I know,” I agree, pressing my mouth to his then leaning back to search his face while my hand stays wrapped around his jaw and my thumb moves over his chin.

“I’ve hated her for so long, and now I don’t know what to feel.”

“I know it’s not easy after everything that happened, but I think you’ll feel better once you find a way to forgive her,” I tell him quietly, running my fingers over his lips.

“How do I do that?” he asks, looking lost.

“I don’t know,” I confess, feeling tears fill my eyes. “But I’ll help you.”

“I’ll help too, Daddy Ax,” Hope says as she runs into the living room and climbs onto the chair with us. “What are we doin?”

Laughing, Jax presses a kiss to her hair then smiles at her. “You’re doing it, sweetheart. You and your mom both are.”

“I’m a good helper.” She smiles, making us laugh.

“You’re the best helper there is, Angel baby,” I say, kissing her forehead then Jax before getting off his lap watching Hope kiss his cheek before getting off his lap and pulling him up, tugging on his hand.

“Are you ready to go Easter egg hunting?” he asks her.

“Yes, I’m going to get all the eggs,” she yells happily, running toward the front of her house. Taking his hand before he can follow her, I take a step toward him and lean up, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, bringing his face closer to mine. “I would do it all again, even the scary parts, as long as I knew Hope and I would have you in the end. I would do it all over again,” I tell him honestly.

“Baby.” He shakes his head, resting his forehead against mine.

“It’s the truth,” I murmur, and his arms tighten while his mouth drops down to mine, kissing me gently.

“Wet’s go, people!” Hope yells, breaking into the moment, making us both smile.

*

“Marry me.”

Opening my eyes to look at Jax through the moonlit room, I feel my mouth go dry. “What?”

“I had this whole fucking thing planned of how I was going to ask, but I don’t want to wait any longer. Marry me, Ellie,” he says, picking up my hand, settling something cool and heavy on my finger.

“Jax.”

“We’ll go to Vegas next weekend.”

“Oh, my God.” I shake my head, feeling my throat close up.

“We can take people with us or have a party when we get home, but I don’t want to wait.”

“Okay,” I whisper, pressing myself flush against him and balling my hand into a fist, afraid the ring will disappear if I don’t.

“What?” he asks against my forehead, where his lips have landed.

“When I was younger, I saw a commercial where this couple rented a convertible and got married at a drive-thru. Do they really have that?” I ask, and his face dips toward mine.

“I’ll find out.”

“Okay,” I murmur then tuck my head under his chin.

“You don’t want to see your ring?” he asks with a smile in his tone as his arms band tighter around me.

“I already know it’s perfect,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes. I know it’s going to take a while for all of us to heal, but I know, with time, things will get a little better everyday, and in the end, as long as we have each other, nothing else will matter.

Epilogue

Ellie

Three years and seven month later

“What the hell are you doing?” Jax roars, placing his hands on the back of my knees. Setting down the box of cereal on the shelf in the cabinet, I roll my eyes. I swear if he’s not roaring, he’s growling. “I asked you a damn question, Ellie Mayson.”

“I’m putting away the groceries,” I say, turning around to face him. Then I get down on my knees and swing my legs around so that I can take a seat on the countertop, which I had used a chair to climbed up onto so I could put away some of the extras I bought in the cabinets close to the ceiling.

“I told you I’d go shopping,” he says, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me against his body, and then sliding me carefully to the floor. “I also told you that if you needed to put anything away up there,” he says, pointing to the cabinets, “I’d do it when I got home. Are you even listening to me?” he frowns, moving his face closer to mine.

“Sorry, what?” I ask, blinking up at him. Since I got pregnant, he’s been bossier than ever, and half the time, I tend to zone him out when he’s talking about what I can or can’t do.

“Ellie, you’re seven months pregnant, not two anymore.”

“I’m being careful. I’m not doing anything the doctor hasn’t said is okay for me to do. You need to relax, Jax. Hey, that rhymed. Relax, Jax should be a slogan.” I smile and his frown grows deeper.

“The doctor told you it’s okay to climb up on the countertop?” he asks, ignoring my joke and placing his hands on my ever-growing belly, rubbing gently.

“No, but—”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you or my boy.”

“Fine, I won’t climb on the counter anymore,” I give in, knowing he won’t stop until I do.

“Between you and Hope, I’m going to turn gray by the time I’m thirty,” he says as his hands wrap around my back, settling on my ass.

Leaning up and kissing his chin, I say softly, “I’d like to remind you it was your bright idea to get her bunk beds, knowing she loves jumping on the bed.

“How was I supposed to know she would think it’s okay to jump off the top bunk?”

“Because she’s crazy and a thrill seeker. I wouldn’t be surprised if she goes skydiving and bungee jumping when she gets older.”

“Stop talking,” he says, making me laugh.

“It’s true, and this guy is going to be just as rambunctious, judging by the way he plays soccer with my bladder.”

“At least he’s stopped making you sick.”

That’s true. The first four months of my pregnancy were spent in the bathroom. Most days, I couldn’t even make it to work because of how sick I was.

“How long do we have before Hope gets off the school bus?” he asks, changing the subject.

Looking around his shoulder at the clock on the stove, I smile. “Long enough for me to take advantage of you,” I tell him, placing my hands on the button of his jeans.

“You’re just going to use me?” He grins.

“Don’t worry. I promise you’ll enjoy it,” I tell him as his hand wraps into my hair and his mouth lands on mine. Lifting me carefully to the countertop, he slides my maternity dress up around my hips and runs a finger over my clit.

“You’re swollen and wet baby.”

“I know.” I swallow, letting my head fall back as his fingers slip inside me.

“Lean back on your hands and spread your legs,” he commands, and I place my hands behind me on the counter and spread my legs as he unhooks his jeans then pulls down the top of my dress, exposing my breasts, which are now super sensitive.