“It’s telling me that love is a constant battle. The man that steals my heart…I want him to fight for me. I want to be the only woman he thinks about, the only woman his heart beats for. I want to be the object of his desire, the body he worships every day. I want to feel like nothing in this world exists if he doesn’t feel all those things for me.”

Behind his glasses, his beautiful eyes are consumed by my words. I know he feels something, but how much? I have no idea. My fingers ache to reach out and caress his face, but I’m terrified. The tiny human lying between us is at stake. One wrong move and his life changes forever.

“You deserve all that…and a man who will give you that.”

On cue, my hearts sinks, confirming what I’ve known all along. He cares. Just not enough. And maybe these thoughts in my head need to stop. Just like my relationship with Jason. I pulled the plug when things weren’t as they should’ve been. If I did it once, I can do it again.

Masen’s gentle snores start as he falls asleep peacefully at my breast. Haden lifts him up slowly and pats him, prompting a loud burp before moving him to his crib and wrapping him tight. Lying here, semi-naked, I’m vulnerable both physically and emotionally. Haden removes his shoes and climbs back into the bed with me, this time moving under the sheets. My body appears flushed, and the way his eyes are laced with desire can only mean one thing.

Kitty is back and has her cheerleader outfit on. Give me an F…give me a U…

“Presley, I can’t hold this back anymore.”

His luscious lips have found their way to mine, and with his tight grip around my waist, it’s impossible to pull away…especially with my body betraying me. His tongue circles mine as we both moan into each other’s mouths.

Out of breath, I pull away for a brief moment. “Haden, we can’t.”

His lips have already moved to the base of my neck as he mumbles. “I need you.”

The rush he gives me shoots straight down below, and between my legs I’m soaking wet. I’m struggling to hold onto my morals as my physical side demands that he give me all of him. Just one more minute…then I’ll stop.

He knows I’ll stop him, and with a desperate rush he has made his way down to my breasts, licking circles around my nipples and causing my back to arch in pleasure. It’s difficult to keep my moans to a silent plea, and sensing my desperation, he moves his right hand towards my mouth and covers it with his palm.

“Just let me have a taste…just one taste…”

I don’t have to let him. He takes what he wants, and the moment he sucks on my nipples, an impending orgasm is on the verge of breaking loose. No…no…

“Haden...we have to stop!”

I manage to push him away just as the orgasm is about to hit, and Kitty throws a massive tantrum, kicking and screaming and demanding I finish.

Guiding his head back towards my face, I watch his eyes and the fire burning within them.

“We can’t do this. Not while you’re in a relationship. I’m not that person.”

His chest is pumping hard, and trying to catch his breath, he finally speaks. “I know it’s wrong. I just want you, Presley.”

“I want you too, Haden. But we can’t…not unless you end things with her.”

He pulls back. “Is that an ultimatum?”

“No,” I correct him. “It’s called having morals. I’m not a mistress, nor do I want to have an affair. I can’t deny what I feel for you, but I’m not the one engaged here.”

I see the turmoil in his expression and pull him closer one more time, for one last kiss.

“I should probably go,” he whispers, disappointed.

“You probably should.”

Reluctantly, he climbs out of the bed and slides his shoes back on. He adjusts his crotch and I ignore how hard he looks beneath the fabric. Why, oh why was I raised to be a good, moral woman?!

Walking towards the door, he stops and turns back to face me. “Give me time to sort out my life, Presley. I want you in it…I just need to fix the mess I created.”

Those are his final words, and for me, tonight, it’s exactly what I need to hear. A promise of a future.

That night, I dream of Haden Cooper. The man my heart and soul wants so desperately. That part about my heart being fragile…it’s too late. It belongs to him. It’s all his. All he needs to do is keep it safe, secure it up in bubble wrap, and ensure that it doesn’t shatter.

That should be easy, right?

 

The next day I get a surprise visit from Haden’s mom. Armed with a bag of wool and knitting needles, she insists I take a couple of hours off to do whatever the hell I want to do. At first, I’m reluctant. Masen is almost four weeks old and I haven’t been away from him at all.

“I understand you feel conflicted. The first time I left Haden with my mother-in-law, I was a blubbering mess. It didn’t help that she was the wicked witch of the west. God rest her soul.” She raises her head towards the ceiling and makes the sign of the cross.

“How about I just go for an hour?”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with. If you need longer, please take longer. I just want to spend time with my grandson.”

I opt to feed him before heading out. It gives me the peace of mind I need, plus chatting with Mrs. Sadler keeps me entertained.

“Please, call me Liz.”

“Okay, Liz,” I hesitate, not sure why. “So, Haden tells me he has twin sisters. That must have been a handful.”

She continues to knit what appear to be booties, all the while managing to still hold a conversation. “The girls weren’t as much of a handful as Haden was. He was and still is strong-headed. Takes after his dad.”

“You’re telling me. I’ve met mules less stubborn than him.”

“He’s a good boy, it’s just…” she trails off for a moment before continuing. “His father’s death was hard on all of us, but it was Haden who took it the hardest.”

“Of course,” I mumble, “Boys need their dads.”

Looking down at Masen’s angelic face, I can’t imagine bestowing any pain on him. If I had my way, I would wrap him up in bubble wrap and protect him forever.

“Liz, I don’t know how you do it. The thought of my son going through any pain kills me.”

“Over time, you learn to let go, but only slightly. Haden shuts down and doesn’t allow anyone in. For a couple of years, I was a wreck, worried for his life. He was erratic and had no regard for his wellbeing. David kept telling me that he needed to grieve in his own way, as well as grow up. He was young when the accident occurred.”

My heart broke for Haden. It was too much for him to experience at such a young age, and so unfair that he was dealt that card. I loved my dad so much and couldn’t even begin to understand the grief of losing a parent.

“You know, Presley, you’ve done wonders for my son.”

“For Haden? You must be mistaken. It’s not like that between us,” I stammer nervously.

She places her knitting needles on her lap. When she smiles, she looks exactly like Haden.

“Liz, the both of us had a lot of growing to do to be able to co-parent Masen, and even then, it’s only been four weeks.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t see what I do. My son adores you.”

With my eyes fixated on Masen, I speak solemnly. “He’s marrying Eloise. Things between us are far too complicated. Whatever happens, happens.”

“You know,” she adds, “one thing I’ve learned about Haden is that he will never listen to anyone. Every decision he makes, he feels he has to own it, whether it be good or bad. Just be patient, Presley. Let him do what he needs to do, but in the end, I have faith that he will make the right decision.”

The decision he made to marry Eloise still baffles me. But just like Liz said, he owns his decisions, good or bad. When he was in London we were practically strangers—if you ignore our midnight rendezvous. I didn’t know where his head was at or what his intentions were. Now, he seems completely different. He’s been matured by the birth of his son, and deep down inside I know he is a good man. Everything Liz said he was.