It was like a stab into my fantasy bubble. Reality check. No matter what he does or says, he’s marrying her. I’m just the woman carrying his baby.

 

Awkward lunch partners. Someone should create a reality show based on that. After returning from his phone call, something between us changed. Haden seemed less friendly and almost annoyed that he was forced to have lunch with me. That, in turn, put me in a foul mood. We still had another day left in each other’s company, so I took the mature approach. Or so I thought.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Why are you acting like a jerk?”

Chewing his mouthful of bread at a slow and annoying pace, he eventually swallows to answer my question.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he mumbles, taking another bite to avoid talking.

“God, you’re such a woman. Whenever someone says ‘nothing’s wrong’ there is always something wrong,” I complain.

“Geez, you nag like the rest of them.”

“Did you say that I nag like the rest of them? You know what?” Whether it is the stifling heat or the anger consuming me, my body temperature rises and suddenly I feel woozy. “I’m jumping into the lake.”

His knee jerk reaction is laughable. I had jumped into this lake a million times and today was no exception. Taking my wedges off, I carry them and place them on a rock. It would have been a good idea to wear my swimmers, but this heat was overbearing and my dress would dry within minutes.

“There could be anything in that lake,” he warns me.

“Can’t be as bad as what’s beside me,” I mutter under my breath.

My feet move towards the shoreline, and instantly, cool water graces my skin as I breathe a sigh of relief. Moving further in, my muscles relax as I sink my entire body. A couple of kids are playing in the water not too far away, and on this hot summer day, I can’t think of a better way to pass the time.

The Jerk is standing on the sand bank, watching me in amusement.

“What?” I yell out. “Worried you’ll get that pretty hairstyle of yours wet?”

Didn’t Vicky say he’s into extreme sports? Not that lake swimming is an extreme sport, but reality is, who knows what is lurking in the murky water?

He takes off his shoes and places them beside mine. Next he pulls his shirt off, revealing his perfect—and I mean perfect—set of abs. Shit, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Wearing only his shorts, he takes his glasses off and hides them in his shoes. Moving towards the edge of the rock, he dives in, causing a huge splash before he resurfaces right beside me.

“FYI, I’m not afraid to get my hair wet,” he says, out of breath and way too close to me.

“Could have fooled me. Thought you were an adrenaline junkie…or what was it your Facebook said?”

“You’ve stalked me?” He grins, swimming around me like a hunter circling its prey.

“Uh…no, not me. Vicky did. She’s the social media whore.”

“You stalked me,” he gloats.

“I didn’t stalk you! But I have no idea who you are. So yes, Vicky stalked you and I may have listened but I want to point out that I resisted.”

I’m folding my arms like a petulant child as he continues to grin like he is winning this battle. Well, two can play at this game.

“Two Yorkshire terriers…really?” I tease.

“Harry Potter…really, Malone?”

“Wait.” I grin unwillingly. “You’ve stalked me?”

“I had no idea who you were.” His smile remains fixed. “Let’s see, aside from Harry Potter, you’re into swimming, extreme cleaning, and what’s the other thing…?” He continues, “Oh, that’s right! You have an obsession with cats.”

“No, no,” I correct him. “I am not into cats. I just have a lot of crazy cat lady friends. Personally, becoming a crazy cat lady is my worst fear.”

He laughs with ease. “You’re too beautiful to be a crazy cat lady.”

Oh Kitty, sit the fuck down and don’t you dare say a word!

I respond quickly, “Didn’t you watch that episode of The Simpsons where they show how Crazy Cat Lady became just that? She was beautiful, graduated with a doctorate and a law degree, and then became so burnt out that she began drinking. She got one cat…then another…and so on.”

His expression remains fixed as he watches me in a curious yet heartwarming way.

“Why are you looking at me that way?”

“You’re cute when you’re quoting The Simpsons.”

“Um…thank you? So anyway, anyone can become a crazy cat lady.”

Continuing to swim circles around me, he appears to be unable to wipe the smirk off his face. I’m not quite sure what’s so funny, but the looming grey clouds followed by thunder in the distance divert my attention.

“Time to get out,” I suggest. “Plus, I’m hungry.”

“You just ate,” he points out, swimming beside me to the rock.

I walk out slowly and squeeze my dress to wring out the excess water. It’s an excuse to ignore his wet body right beside me. Bending down to grab his shoes, the muscles of his back tense, and boy oh boy did Kitty just wake up…again. With quick reflexes, he catches me looking and gives me a wink. Okay, what a jerky thing to do. I let out a huff, then tell him to hurry his ass up.

We head back home to find that Gemma and Melissa have arrived early. Seeing the both of them makes me super excited. It’s been a while and I’ve missed their fun-loving ways so much.

Gemma is also known as the Chameleon in our family. The last time I saw her, she had black hair with streaks of blue. Today she’s rocking a new, shorter style dyed grey. People often said she looked like Dad. Which isn’t such a bad thing, unless she had inherited his beer gut. Thank God she didn’t.

“Lil’ sis!” She rushes up to me and squeezes me tight. I forgot to mention that she was only five feet tall, making her the shortest in our family. I hold onto her until she pulls away and rubs my belly till it bugs me, forcing me to swat her hands away.

“I can’t believe I’m going to be an auntie!” She hands me a green gift bag and I stare back at her, confused. “For the baby, silly.”

Finally catching on, I place my hand in the bag and pull out a white onesie. It’s tiny, and I mean one of my boobs could barely fit in there kind of tiny.

I hold the onesie up and read out the print. “My aunt is hotter than your aunt.”

Everyone around me laughs, and even though it’s lame, I laugh along with them.

Melissa pushes Gemma aside and reaches out her arms. I happily embrace her and she gently whispers in my ear, “He’s cute, Pres…real cute.”

No shit. That is half my problem. If he was drop dead ugly I wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.

The obligatory introductions begin, and already Gemma has found something in common with the Jerk; they both love horror flicks (something I despise). We move into the living room and Gemma pops in a DVD. It’s something about a lunatic murdering people in some rural town. It’s gory, unpleasant, and by the time the second person is killed within ten minutes of the movie starting, I jump ship and escape to the kitchen where my sanity and will to live remain intact.

“Since you’re in here, how about you peel those potatoes for me?”

Mom hands me the bag of potatoes as I happily chat away about work, life in the city, and Vicky.

“That girl sound like a bad influence,” Mom scowls.

“Honestly mom, I’m not ten. If anything maybe I’m the bad influence. Uh, hello!” I point to my belly.

She simply shakes her head then entertains me with the latest family gossip. Before I know it, the food is ready and I am famished just smelling the enticing aromas.

The dinner table was spread with an array of food; my mom, a.k.a. Martha Stewart, has gone all out, even using her fancy silverware. Everyone else enters the room, talking animatedly about the movie. I take a seat beside my dad and Haden follows by sitting on my other side. We say grace, then dig into the food, all the while talking about random topics including Gemma and Melissa’s house in L.A.