He had never heard Julie sob the way she had that night. Other than when she first opened up to him, she only spoke of somber but positive reflections of her parents. He knew she grieved and he saw her cry, but he’d never seen her in such raw pain.
“What can I do, baby?” he had asked as he knelt on both knees with her small hands wrapped tightly in his.
She turned her head, breaking their eye contact. He thought in that moment that she knew what she needed from him but was too afraid to ask. He rose to his feet, swept her up in his arms, and carried her to the sofa, where he sat down with her planted on his lap.
“Julie, I wanna spend every day for the rest of my life with you. There’s something you need, something that will take away the sadness that’s tearing you up right now; tell me, honey, and I’ll give it to you.”
Nodding, Julie’s gray stare met his. “I do want to marry you, but…” The but nearly killed him until she completed her thought. “But I can’t go through with a wedding. I can’t do it without them. I know you’ll try to convince me that it’s every girl’s dream or that I’ll regret it later. It was my fantasy once too, but now the thought is a nightmare. I have enough of those to last a lifetime.”
Relief, then heartache. That’s what he felt, but it wasn’t what he said. “Honey, you wanna marry me?”
“Yes,” she answered with confidence.
“It kills me you don’t get to have your fantasy wedding and your daddy/daughter dance. I hate seeing your heart breaking when I know how happy you are with us, but I’m not gonna convince you that you’ll regret anything, baby. I’m gonna marry you, and if at any time in our lives you wanna have that big dream wedding, just let me know, and we’ll do it.” He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “You’re taking my name. A man has never been so lucky.” He touched his lips to hers. “Whatever you want, as long as it’s in my power to give you, it’s yours. Forever.”
She’d smiled brightly on their wedding day. A real smile, one that declared true happiness. The only thing that had stood in the way of their union was work. Danny was set to start training, a twenty-one week program, and Neal and Julie had needed to request time off from their jobs for the wedding. Within two months of Danny sliding the engagement ring on Julie’s finger, the wedding band followed. There was no time for a honeymoon, but she didn’t complain.
“Where did you go just now, sweetheart?”
Julie’s question popped his memory bubble, dropping Danny back to the coffee shop. “I was thinking about the day we got married, how beautiful you looked.”
Julie’s eyes got soft the way they always did when they discussed that day. Blessed and bittersweet, she called it.
“We slipped right into married life and never looked back.”
“Are you complaining?” she teased. “’Cause it’s too late to return me, and I wouldn’t go quietly.”
Danny’s laugh filled the quiet café. “No, babe, no one else in the world I want. However, I’d love to be able to finally take you on that honeymoon.”
Julie subtly covered her mouth, but Danny saw the happiness radiating from the tiny lines that appeared on the outsides of her eyes.
“I know you’ve always had a serious case of wanderlust with no outlet,” he said. “My dad gave us all of that money when we got married. I’m thinking we could take some of it and plan a two-week vacation to the destination of your choice. Other than a couple of sick days, you haven’t taken any time off since you started managing O’Brian’s. I’m sure you can get the time off…if you want.”
***
HE WASN’T WRONG. Julie had started as a waitress at O’Brian’s Ale House the week after she left Chester’s Bar. In fact, Chester Murray had gotten her the job. With Danny attending the Fire Training Academy in Baltimore and hoping for a job in a station in Baltimore County, Chester’s was a hike and a half. Chester and Sheila O’Brian were friends, which meant Julie got hired sight unseen. After six months, Sheila was grooming Julie for a management position. O’Brian’s was work, but it was also fun, and it was her safe place when Danny worked days at a time. Sheila’s brother was a firefighter, and her husband was a volunteer firefighter, so she knew the ropes and showed Julie how to keep her shit tight when Danny was on duty.
Sheila would be more than happy to give Julie two weeks off because she’d already “okayed” four weeks of leave.
“Jules, do you want to go away for a couple of weeks?” Danny asked.
“Yes and no, Danny,” Julie answered in a sing-song voice, pleased when she saw confusion on his gorgeous face. “I absolutely want to take our long-awaited and well-deserved honeymoon, but I don’t think two weeks is enough.”
“Wha—”
Julie lifted a finger to her lips. “Shhh…” Danny’s pinched brows and dropped jaw made her laugh. “Sheila and I had a long chat last night after my shift. We think that O’Brian’s will be fine without me for at least four weeks.” She stood and stalked over to his chair to plant herself on his lap. “Effective as of today, you’re unemployed, so how about it? Wanna take a month and get wanderlusty with me?”
“Fuck me,” he growled, making her core pulse and her panties wet.
“I plan to do that in several different countries,” she purred.
“Let’s get out of here, woman,” Danny commanded quietly.
“You lead, I’ll follow.”
###
COORDINATING THE PERFECT excursion took several weeks. Julie knew that while her husband was excited to travel and explore the world with her, the magnitude of the trip had more to do with her than him.
Traveling with her parents had been her post-high-school-graduation plan. They’d planned three months of explorations before she settled into the “real world,” as her dad had referred to it. At the end of her freshman year in high school, they mapped out a journey that would have taken them through Asia, and they tweaked it throughout the fall of her senior year. While the trip was meant to be her parents’ graduation gift to her, the expense was astronomical. Julie wanted to pitch in as much as possible, so she worked any job she could find, from babysitting to serving ice cream at the local Friendly’s. As the vacation expanded, she stopped serving ice cream and got a job at a local restaurant. The minute she was old enough to serve alcohol, she started working in a pub. After all, with alcohol came bigger tips, and each tip was money set aside for their dream vacation.
Her dream ended the day her nightmare began, and world discovery became a memory that was both wistful and cruel. When she and Danny got married and they realized there would be no time for a honeymoon, her disappointment was less sharp and quick to fade.
But when Neal died, paralyzing fear struck Julie in ways that far surpassed what she’d felt after she lost her mom and dad. She had mourned and struggled after the earthquake that consumed her parents, but part of her knew that she would be okay, that she’d move forward, and while life would be painful, it would continue. When the news about Neal hit, all Julie saw was Danny. Danny running into a burning building. Danny succumbing to flames or to damage the flames caused. Danny no longer in her life, in her world. Terror clawed through her gut like nothing she’d ever felt before.
So when her husband told her that he no longer wanted to be a firefighter, she could almost envision the orange flames being suffocated for the last time, hear the sizzle as the oxygen left the fire and the embers turned to ash. They were safe, free. Alive. And there was nothing she wanted more than to celebrate their existence by experiencing all life had to offer. Starting with the globe.