Taking a shuddering breath, she said, “Promise me that you’ll never again even think of doing what you almost did in that motel room.” A harsh demand. “You promise me, Noah, because I can’t go through that again.”

“I promise,” he said without hesitation. “Never again.”

Kit grabbed one of the pretty napkins she’d put on the table and wiped her face before dropping her hand to her thigh, her fingers clenched around the napkin.

He waited, his pulse a huge, loud thing that drowned out his breathing.

“Okay,” she said, so softly it was less than a whisper. “We’ll be friends.”

Kit didn’t know what she was doing agreeing to be Noah’s friend, didn’t even know if they could salvage that relationship from the wreckage. But ten minutes later, as she watched him pull the ice cream from the freezer, she couldn’t deny the need inside her.

As she’d confessed to Molly, she’d missed him too. So much.

She wished she didn’t, would do everything in her power to bury that need going forward. It wasn’t the right way to enter into a friendship, but it was the only way she might survive it. “One scoop for me,” she said, when he began to dish out the dessert.

“You sure?” A sinful, tempting smile. “You love this stuff.”

Butterflies in her stomach, an acute pain in her heart. “I’ll get sick if I start eating too much rich food at once—and I already had pizza.”

“Right, I never thought about that.” Putting a couple more scoops in his bowl, he placed both bowls on the table before returning the tub to the freezer.

The light caught on the gold of his hair, the strands silky and bright and just long enough to slide forward until he shoved them back with a thrust of his hand. She’d always loved Noah’s hair, always wanted to touch it. Taking a quiet breath that hurt going in, she forced herself to look away.

Noah wasn’t for her, would never be for her.

“So,” he said, sliding into his chair, “are you excited about your full-fat latte tomorrow morning?”

She’d made that laughing comment in an interview. It messed her up to know he’d watched it, remembered. “I decided to save the lattes for next week, when my stomach’s had time to recover from the movie diet.” It was all but impossible to sound natural when her emotions were a black turbulence inside her.

“You know who to call if you want company.” Noah’s voice was easy, but the renewed awkwardness between them was a living, breathing entity.

Kit didn’t know what to say, so she just ate a spoonful of ice cream to cover her nonresponse. “What are you and the rest of the guys planning to do now the tour’s over?”

“Work on a new album. We’ve got some material and ideas already, but it’s time to sit down, start putting the pieces together.” He shrugged. “Fact is, we could put out an album next week if we wanted to, but it wouldn’t be us.”

Kit understood what he meant. Schoolboy Choir was so successful not because they released album after album, but because the albums they did put out were stellar. “That song,” she said. “About the sparrow. Will it be on this album?” Noah had sung it to her when they’d been friends but had said it wasn’t ready for recording.

“No. It’s not exactly Schoolboy Choir material.”

“What are you talking about? It’s amazing.” A harsh, beautiful ballad of such heartbreaking vulnerability that it had made her cry.

Noah just shrugged.

Before, she would’ve pushed, but she didn’t have that right anymore. Couldn’t have it for her own emotional health. “Well,” she said, “if you don’t release it, record it for me. I’d love to hear it again.”

“You’ll just have to put up with me.” A devastating smile. “I’ll sing it to you anytime you want.”

There was a time when Noah’s offer would’ve made her go all melty inside. Now it just hurt.

“Sorry,” she said with another forced smile. “I think I’m beginning to fade. Had an early start.” It wasn’t a total lie; she’d been at the studio at four a.m. as usual, but she wouldn’t be going to sleep so soon after eating.

Which, she belatedly realized, Noah knew after her comment the night he’d made her spaghetti. Instead of calling her on it, however, he got up. “I’ll help you clean up.”

“Don’t worry about it.” A yawn cracked her mouth. “Drat, sorry again.”

This time, his smile reached his eyes. “You really are beat.” Leaving the dishes, he walked to the front door, her by his side. “Do you think you’ll be up early again tomorrow?”

She made a face. “Three twenty on the dot, I’m guessing.” It would take at least a week to break out of that rhythm.

“Want to come do something with me?” Shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, he wouldn’t quite meet her eyes. “Since we’ll both be awake at that hour.”

Kit frowned. “What would we do in the middle of the night?” It wasn’t until the words were out that she realized how suggestive they sounded.

Thankfully, Noah didn’t seem to notice. Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, “I was thinking I’d pick you up at four thirty, and it’d be just before six and getting light by the time we got there.”

Kit wasn’t certain she was reading him right—Noah was never hesitant or nervous… but he was sure giving that impression right now. “Where?”

Shoving both hands back into his pockets, he finally met her gaze, a slight flush on his cheekbones that floored her, smashing right through her defenses. Noah never blushed. It was simply not in the Noah St. John repertoire. Except he was rocking on his heels and that color hadn’t receded.

He was impossibly gorgeous.

“To go for a flight.”

Kit felt like a parrot, but all she could say was, “A flight?”

“Yeah, I, um, got my pilot’s license, bought a small two-seater plane.”

Her mouth fell open. “Since when have you been taking flying lessons? Do the guys know?” No one had ever mentioned it.

“A while.” He ran a hand through his hair, gave her that lopsided grin, only this time it held a piercing edge of vulnerability.

At that instant, he looked younger than she’d ever seen him.

“You’re the only one who knows. I didn’t want to say anything until I actually did it,” he added. “Had the license, I mean.”

Wonderfully astonished and fighting the urge to kiss him, he was so beautiful right then—so her Noah—Kit just stood there.

His smile began to fade at the edges, daylight swallowed by night. “You don’t have to. I just thought—”

“Yes,” she interrupted. “Yes, I’d like to.” She couldn’t kick the gift of trust back in his face… and she’d promised to be his friend.

As she’d already admitted, no matter how much he’d hurt her, her heart would break forever if Noah was no longer in the world. That didn’t mean she was going to fall back into the trap of loving him. It was time she said good-bye to a dream that had held her hostage even when she’d believed herself free: beautiful, gifted, broken Noah St. John was simply never going to love Kathleen “Kit” Devigny.

Sliding to the floor with her back to the door after Noah left, Kit stared at the hands that always wanted to touch Noah when he was near and shook her head. Her tears were silent this time, the hot droplets erasing the last traces of the dream.

Chapter 7

Noah managed to sleep that night, thanks to a trick he’d discovered on the Internet. He’d put in a search term in desperation one night and hit on a video of rain falling in someone’s backyard, and before he knew it, he was asleep in his chair. He’d woken five hours later with a stiff neck and the video still playing in a loop.