James didn’t know what to do next. He was completely out of his element. Willing to try anything once, he switched on the spa and watched as it began to spew bubbles into the fragrant water. James himself felt putrid. He stank of cigarette smoke and he knew he was in desperate need of a shower. The stench of the smoke from the club had penetrated his clothes and was trapped in the pores of his tanned skin. He knew Anna must have been feeling the same, if she could feel anything at all. Her thick hair was filled with the smell, and smiling to himself, James remembered almost gagging as he carried her upstairs. Desperate, he again tried to talk to her but she just stayed still, trapped in herself.

“Anna, did you want a bath? It will make you feel better, sweetheart.” James was trying his best not to smother her but he was beyond desperate. At last, a reaction! James never thought he would be so excited to see someone lift their head and look up at him with sad, tear-filled eyes.

“Mmm,” was all Anna managed to murmur. But that didn’t disappoint him. Nothing could. He’d gotten a reaction. And for the first moment since he’d put her in the car James felt like he was making progress. Maybe his Anna wasn’t completely lost to him.

James sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and removed Anna’s shoes. He was so sincerely concerned that he couldn’t pull his eyes from her. Sweat dotted his brow as he sucked in a deep breath. And when Anna sat up and reached for James’s hand his heart missed a beat and he felt like he was falling. With his hand in hers, their fingers intertwined, Anna’s face broke into a half-hearted smile. Slowly, she lifted his hands to her lips and lightly kissed each of his fingertips. One by one. James’s strong, calloused hands were warm against her soft cheek. And as James exhaled the breath he’d been holding, he realised everything would be okay. No matter what happened they could survive this. They would survive this. Together. The way it was supposed to be.

Refusing to break the connection now he had her back, James couldn’t help himself. In one fluid motion he swept Anna up into his arms and carried her across the room in a few short strides. When he put her down Anna’s shaky legs barely supported her, but somehow she managed to hold her own. The bathroom smelt like vanilla, overpowering the stench of cigarettes.

It was just after midnight when Anna lay sleeping soundly in James’s arms. Lying there in the darkness, Anna snoring softly beside him, James couldn’t help but feel disappointed by the way the day had turned out. He’d hoped for a nice, quiet, romantic dinner for just the two of them but instead it had ended in silent tears and a void that James wasn’t sure he could hurdle.

Rolling over, James glanced at the clock. It was already after two and he was still wide awake. The dreaded alarm would go off in only a few short hours and drag his weary body back to the pool. And as much as the thought of turning it off appealed, James knew that to be the best you had to put in the effort, which meant getting up at stupid o’clock and following the black line. Besides, when Anna was her normal self again she would kick his arse if she found out he skipped a training session. Especially if Anna had any inkling he missed it on her account.

Chapter 2

Anna

“Good morning! It’s five-thirty and you are listening to…” the alarm broke through the silence and both Anna and James were jolted awake. Anna was such a light sleeper it was only normal she’d woken. On any normal day Anna would have been up and off to training with James, but today was different. Or so he thought.

Anna was first out of bed and dressed quickly in her usual uniform: baggy navy track pants, sweater, and trainers. Her hair was already pulled back into a tight braid before James had even managed to pry open his tired eyes.

“What are you doing? Go back to bed, Anna,” James encouraged wearily, his arms flailing about.

“What do you think? I’m coming to training. I do it every morning. Why would today be any different?” Anna replied honestly. She was already on the floor working on her crunches.

“I just thought…” James suddenly stopped.

Anna looked at James and was overcome with guilt. He looked exhausted. He had dark black bags under his eyes. To Anna, he looked as though he’d only slept for a matter of minutes and needed another month of sleep just to catch up.

Without another objection, James dragged his slow, sleep deprived, sluggish body from under the covers and pulled on his clothes.

Driving to the pool they were both silent, lost in their thoughts. Anna stared blankly out the window. It was still dark and the streetlights looked more like fairy lights dotting the early morning sky. The grass was covered in a blanket of thick white frost; it reminded her of something from a children’s Christmas movie.

Anna pictured herself as a little eight-year-old girl with short brown curly hair and red rosy cheeks. She was wrapped in a pink jacket with matching scarf and beanie. Anna saw herself standing in the middle of the yard, pretending the frost was snow while she tried to make snowballs to throw at her brother. To Anna it felt as though this was more like a memory than a hallucination. It was so vivid, so real. She could see it all unfolding in front of her. She felt the chill in her bones. Anna’s little brother was wearing his blue jacket and matching gloves, while their parents watched from the bay windows, sipping their coffee.

“You sure you’re okay?” James’s voice snapped Anna out of her trance and back to reality.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Anna said, as she looked over at him and smiled. Anna wasn’t mad he had interrupted her train of thought, but in a strange way it made her kind of sad. She wished she could see what would happen next to the beautiful little girl and her brother.

She turned her head back and her focus was once again out the window. Anna sat and watched as the houses passed. Soon enough they arrived at the pool and as they did every day, Anna walked straight into the gym to begin her work out. When they first started training together they made a mutual decision they wouldn’t talk to each other while they were there. This was a place for training and exercise, not a place for socialising.

This time of morning was Anna’s favourite for working out. The gym was deserted and quiet. She could do her own thing, her own way, in her own time. It was the time of day that Anna felt most at peace. And it was when Anna allowed her imagination to consume her. Instantly her mind would take her on exotic journeys to the ends of the earth. Growing up Anna couldn’t have asked for a better childhood. She had done so much and tried so many different things, things many of her friends had never been allowed to. Experiences others fought for, and Anna was thankful for that. Yet it was Anna’s vivid imagination that provided her with her greatest escape. And now, here in the empty gym, Anna once again allowed her mind to completely consume her.

Without hesitation Anna stepped straight onto the treadmill and began to run. Her mornings, just like James’s, had become an extremely predictable routine, but that fact never seemed to worry her. Anna led a very safe life, one without much variation or chance of surprise. Anna enjoyed knowing at least one thing in her life was standard and wouldn’t change. Change terrified her. But by combining her routine with her colourful imagination, Anna found she never became bored. It was the perfect combination.

Anna knew as she pushed through her second kilometre James was undoubtedly lapping up and down the pool under the watchful eye of his coach. They’d been together since James was only eight years old and bellyflopping into the pool. They had been through a lot together and developed an almost indestructible friendship. Together they had faced drug allegations, swimsuit controversies, media backlash, and even sponsorship nightmares but the good far outweighed the bad. Together they had risen to the pinnacle of success. With his steady hand and guidance, James had become an Olympic gold medallist, world record holder, Australian titleholder, and won many school swimming carnival events. Each morning, while Anna was pushing herself harder and harder, James swam eight to ten kilometres. Each lap he tried to push himself harder than the lap before. Anna knew even after all this time together, James still loved the idea through all the predictability of their lives he still had it in him to leave Anna speechless when he emerged from the pool and still had energy to burn.