“It’s for your safety. We don’t know what drug he gave you. If it all goes well, you won’t have to stay overnight.”
Where will I stay?
I don’t ask the question out loud.
***
The hospital agrees I don’t have to stay overnight. I’m sitting in my room, wearing secondhand clothes when Harris walks in.
“No scrubs this time?” He’s leaning against the door frame, watching me.
I shake my head. “No, they had someone donate these for cases like me.”
He sighs and pushes away from the door and stands near me. “Where are you going to stay?”
I bite my lip. “There’s a women’s shelter that’s offered me a space.”
“Is that what you want?”
I look up at him, and I feel so old. He told me I didn’t have to worry about any charges being brought against me. To be honest, until he mentioned it, the possibility hadn’t crossed my mind. “I don’t know what I want.”
He sighs and sits down next to me. “I’ve only ever wanted one thing.”
“Did you get it?”
“Not yet.”
“Mmm.” I don’t know what else to say.
“I wasn’t allowed to tell you,” he says.
“That you were a cop?” I look at him sideways. He has his badge attached to his shirt, and it’s still throwing me for a loop that he’s a cop when I see it.
“Right. I wanted to. But I’d been undercover for what? Almost three years? It was too risky and would have put the entire operation in jeopardy.”
I’m obviously still working off the effects of the drug, because it doesn’t register with me until that exact moment that he has been working undercover the entire time I’ve known him.
“Operation?” I ask.
“We’ve been trying to bring Mike down for a long time. This was the closest we’ve gotten.”
Closest we’ve gotten. “You didn’t get him?”
“Athena, look at me.” It’s the first time he’s ever used that tone of voice with me. That no nonsense commanding tone. I should be put off by it, but I’m not.
When he’s certain he has my attention, he continues. “I had a choice to make. I could get Mike or capture Isaiah and save you. The timing wouldn’t allow for apprehending both men.”
I’m stunned by the meaning behind the words. “You picked me?”
“Yes, I picked you and I’d do it all over again the same way, no questions, no hesitations.”
“But all those years you worked and Mike had no idea. You sacrificed that for me?”
“I did and we got Isaiah, too. You’d be surprised how dirty he is.”
I touched the bandage on my neck. “I doubt that.”
“You’re right. Sorry. Besides, it would be a shallow victory if you had been sold into the sex market and I never saw you again. There will be other chances to get Mike. There was only one for you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“I’m afraid it’s not all good news.” He takes a deep breath. “Mike didn’t leave alone.”
I don’t want him to say any more, because I have a sick feeling in my stomach about what he’s going to say next.
“We believe he took Vicki with him.”
Vicki. I’ll never forget her fear that day she tried to warn me. Why hadn’t I listened? She had her head in the sink. That alone should have told me she was seriously freaked out.
“She tried to tell me. I should have listened.” I close my eyes as the tears come.
“Don’t blame yourself. The situation was out of your control.”
There’s a knock on the door, and a nurse comes in. “Just have some paperwork, Ms. Hamilton. Then we’ll get you out of here.”
Harris waits to stand up until she hands me the papers and a pen and leaves. “If you want to go to the shelter, I know them. They’ll get you on your feet, help you find a job, get you settled and keep you safe. They’re good.”
I nod. I’m suddenly overwhelmed.
“On the other hand...” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. “I believe this is yours. We found it on Isaiah.”
I take the envelope and peek inside. “Oh my, God.”
It’s my ten thousand dollars. I’m free. It’s enough to set me up for a time if I budget wisely.
“You can move to Indiana and work at a bookstore now,” he says softly. “My card’s in there if you need anything. I put my personal number on it as well.”
I clutch the envelope to my chest. Free. Free. Free.
“Thank you,” I say through the tears in my eyes.
“I meant what I said that night, Athena. I want all good things for you.”
***
I decide not to make any hasty decisions, and I quickly find that not having had the ability to make my own decisions for so long has me second guessing everything. I don’t really want to stay at a women’s shelter. I’d like to get a hotel room, but for obvious reasons that seems weird.
I end up taking a cab to the far end of the Strip to a nice hotel I’ve never stepped foot in and where I’ll just be Ms. Hamilton instead of a working girl. I am ridiculously tight with my money, counting and recounting every penny, working through my head over and over how long it can last and ways to make it last longer.
For two days, I stay in the room and do nothing. It’s horribly decadent, but my body and mind need to recuperate. There are times I wake in a cold sweat certain there is a knife at my throat, and I know it will be some time before the nightmares become less frequent. After all, Mike is still out there somewhere.
During the day, I go from one extreme thought to another. My brain is finally processing that Harris was never in deep with Mike, never ratted me out, and was keeping me safe. Unlike Isaiah, who was playing me.
I take the card Harris left in the envelope and flip it over and over, not sure if I should call. Not sure what to say if I do call. Does he really care? Or was I just an assignment to keep safe?
In the end, there is one question I can’t figure out, and it’s that question that pushes me to call.
“Hello.” He answers on the second ring and my knees threaten to buckle at the rough sound of his voice.
“Harris?”
“Athena? Is that you? Are you okay?”
I nod and then realize he can't see me. “Yes.”
“Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything?”
“Just had a question for you.”
There’s relief in his voice when he answers. “Sure, what’s on your mind?”
“That night I came to Theo’s room and went to Mike’s office the next day?”
“Yes.”
“How did I make it back to my apartment?” I have been assuming it was Isaiah, but now, knowing what I do, I knew it couldn’t be.
“I carried you. And left a note under Vicki’s door so she would come see to you.”
“Oh.” As soon as I realized it couldn’t be Isaiah, I’d frantically hoped it was him. It seemed too good to believe.”
He takes a deep breath. “I had a meeting with him that morning. Apparently, Cybil tried to contact me to cancel it, but I never got her message. When I arrived, she told me to wait downstairs, that Mike was busy. I would have turned and left, but I heard...” His breath hitches. “I heard a wailing. I wasn’t even sure it was human, coming from his office.”
I’m straining to hear him because his voice is so low. “Cybil heard it too, because she jumped up right as I headed for the door. She tried to block me, and I told her if she didn’t move out of my way, I’d shove the door up her ass.”
I would have laughed at the thought of Cybil with a door up her ass had it been any other conversation I was having.
“I opened the door, and he was standing over you. With this look. Christ, I have nightmares about that look. I truly think he would have killed you if I hadn’t arrived.”
Harris takes a deep shuddering breath. “I didn’t say anything. I picked you up and went down his private elevator to my car and drove you home. Then I called him and asked what the fuck he was doing. At that point, I didn’t care if I blew my cover. To see you there....I couldn’t...I thought of my....”
His sister.