That was the reason, Sebastian decided. Malcolm had wanted to hurt him, had refused to show even that much compassion.

A young boy murdered…

“You bastard,” he said through gritted teeth.

Life could be fleeting, he thought. Sometimes you didn’t even know what you had until it was gone. So why spend the night alone?

Removing his keys from the ignition, he got out, slammed the door and locked it.

A knock at the door brought Jane to full consciousness. As usual, her thoughts reverted to Oliver. It’d been five years, but whenever she was startled, she automatically wondered whether she was really safe. She had to remind herself that he was gone. Then her pulse settled. But it was still odd that someone had come to her condo so early in the morning. Her alarm wouldn’t go off for another two hours.

Praying there hadn’t been some sort of emergency involving Kate, she got up, yanked on her robe and hurried to the living room. “Who is it?” she called through the door.

“Me.”

Sebastian. Was he okay? She checked the peephole.

He appeared to be fine.

Throwing the bolt, she opened the door.

She thought he’d explain why he was on her doorstep at five-thirty in the morning, but he didn’t. He just stood there, rumpled and exhausted and disheartened, and she realized he hadn’t come to talk. He was looking for comfort.

A warning voice in her head told her not to invite him in. He was already the subject of every fantasy she had. But she couldn’t see him so miserable and do nothing.

Taking his hand, she drew him inside.

As soon as she’d shut the door, his arms went around her, holding her close.

Jane held him in return, wishing she could somehow soothe away the pain that was obviously tearing him up. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

He didn’t answer. He buried his face in her neck and, seconds later, she felt the moisture of tears.

When Jane woke, she was in her bed, naked, with Sebastian. They hadn’t done anything before falling asleep except curl up together. But he was touching her now-intimately. With his chest to her back and his legs tucked up under her behind, he held her to him, cupping her breast as he kissed her neck.

This was the moment to stop him, before it was too late, she told herself. Even if she came clean about her possible ability to conceive, all the condoms she’d bought were at his motel. She couldn’t make love with him.

“Sebastian…” She rolled over to face him so they could talk, but he simply brought her up against his chest and kissed her parted lips.

His kiss started out as more of a request, a soft, tempting lure, but the more she responded the more passionate it grew.

“Sebastian,” she gasped when he moved to her neck. “We can’t do this.”

He didn’t comment. Apparently, he wasn’t any more interested in talking now than he’d been before-except, perhaps, with his hands. They let her know exactly what he thought they should be doing.

She tried to say no one more time, but his fingers had found the sensitive spot that’d brought her such pleasure the previous morning, and his name on her lips came out as a moan.

“Trust me,” he whispered.

“I’m the one who can’t be trusted,” she told him, but he didn’t take her seriously enough to stop. Slipping one arm beneath the small of her back, he lifted her slightly off the bed and covered her breast with his mouth. At that point, she knew she’d give almost anything to let him continue-anything except being as irresponsible as she had before. That was a line she couldn’t cross again.

She was about to stop him, to blurt out the truth, if necessary. She had no choice. But then she remembered that her doctor had sent her home with a barrier device called a Lea’s Shield at her last visit. She’d kept telling him she wasn’t sexually active, but he’d pressed her to take one, even shown her how to use it, just in case.

Now she was incredibly glad.

“Sebastian?”

“Hmm?”

“I need a minute,” she said and slipped away, into the bathroom.

She’d made love without being completely honest, but at least she’d used birth control. That made it okay, didn’t it?

Still, Jane wasn’t sure her conscience was totally clear…

How was it that she’d wound up in bed with Sebastian again? She’d said good-night, locked her door and gone to her room alone. Could she help it that he’d returned when she least expected? That he knew exactly how to break down her resistance?

Hearing him in the kitchen, she allowed herself a muffled groan of frustration as she rolled onto her side. It wasn’t his fault. Just the way he looked at her could demolish her defenses. She obviously hadn’t changed as much as she wanted to believe. After spending five years proving to Wendy, and to herself, that she possessed some restraint, she’d once again been humbled by her own shortcomings.

“Hey, breakfast is ready.” Sebastian poked his head into the room.

Jane was facing away from the door. “I’m not hungry.”

She thought he’d gone back to eat until he spoke again. “We’re both consenting adults, Jane. And neither one of us is in a committed relationship. We haven’t hurt anyone.”

He knew she was berating herself, but he didn’t understand why.

Dragging the blankets with her, she sat up. “I’ve never had a tubal ligation, Sebastian.”

He straightened. “What?”

“I could be fertile.” How was that for dropping a bomb?

“You mean this morning-”

She waved her hand. “I used a Shield this morning. I’m talking about last time.”

Propping one shoulder against the door, he rubbed the beard growth on his chin. “Why’d you tell me otherwise?”

“Because it was too late to take back what we’d done, and I was the one who wouldn’t let you stop. I figured it was my problem, so I’d pay the consequences. But I didn’t think we’d…I never dreamed we’d be together again. I used birth control this morning, but we both know the barrier methods aren’t as absolutely reliable as a tubal ligation. I feel like-” she raked her fingers through her hair “-it’s not right for me to be making the decision to take that chance on my own.”

He studied her. “For the record, I would’ve gone for it,” he said.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that if you’d told me you hadn’t had your tubes tied before we made love this morning, but said you had a Shield, I would’ve wanted to continue.”

That was a nice thing to say, to take partial responsibility. She couldn’t help being impressed. But did he truly realize that using a Shield this morning didn’t change the fact that she might already be pregnant? Why wasn’t he angry that she’d taken such a huge risk without warning him? “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking.”

“I like it when you’re not thinking,” he said with a grin.

She smiled back. “So what’s for breakfast?”

Eighteen

Wearing only his jeans, Sebastian held his coffee cup loosely. He was sitting at the breakfast table with Jane, trying to figure out why she made him feel better when Constance always made him feel worse. It made no sense. There’d been times over the past few months when his former girlfriend had wanted to make love and he’d had no interest, times she’d begged him to open up and talk and he’d been unable to do so.

But it was different with Jane. Was it because she understood what he felt without his having to explain? That was part of it, but he liked too much about her to pin his feelings exclusively on her understanding. Mary had kids. She understood, too. But he hadn’t been attracted to her.

“So what are we going to do about Malcolm?” Jane asked.

He’d just told her about the e-mail Malcolm had sent Mary, Mary’s response and the intruder she’d subsequently had at her house. “I don’t know.”