I glanced over at Rory on the bed. His eyes were transfixed on the screen, and he was stroking himself through his underwear. He looked over at me, and smiled. "It kind of turns me on watching myself, you know? Do you think that's weird?"

I swallowed, and looked back at the television screen. "Urn, no, I don't. I mean, I guess not. I don't know if I'd get turned on watching myself."

"Sure you would! You've got a nice body, man."

"You think so?"

"Sure, man." He looked over at me. "Really nice, in shape. Good looking too. The little sisters are going to line up to suck your dick, man. That's one of the benefits of the house you know. The house whores."

"Urn, okay."

He patted the bed beside him. "Why don't you come sit over here?"

I took a deep breath and walked over to the bed. This isn't happening, I kept saying to myself over and over, this isn't happening. I looked at his crotch. The head of his cock was sticking out through the waistband of his BVD's. It was big, so big and thick and red. A single clear drop oozed out of the slit.

"You want to help a brother out and suck me off?" he whispered.

You wanted experience here's your chance.

"Um ... I don't know..."

"I won't tell anyone. It's just between us." He pulled the waistband down, and I couldn't believe my eyes. His balls were thick and heavy, and the cock-it had to be eleven, twelve inches long and a minimum of six around.

"I-I-"

"I won't come in your mouth," he whispered. "Come on, Jeff, no one will know."

I sat down on the side of the bed. My entire body was trembling. I leaned over, took a deep breath, and put my hand on it. It was so warm, and Rory moaned a little bit.

"Just suck it, man, put it in your mouth. I won't tell anyone."

I closed my eyes and put the head in my mouth.

It tasted slightly salty, sweaty with a slight tinge of chlorine.

Of course it's chlorine, dumb ass, he's a swimmer!

I started licking the head.

"Oh, man, that's nice, Jeff, yeah, keep doing that."

I started licking it, not really knowing what I was doing. Out of the corner of my eye I glanced at the porn video playing. She was sucking his cock, and if that nasty looking old whore could do it, so could I.

I started moving my mouth up and down on it, but couldn't get that far.

I looked over at the screen. How the hell was she-

And then I remembered something from a party in Kansas. Two guys were talking about shooting a beer, "You have to open your throat, man, then everything just goes pouring straight down ..

Open your throat.

I focused on an upward movement, and then as I came back down again, I opened my throat and it went down.

"Ooooooh fuck man!" Rory's hips started moving, and he gripped my hair with both hands.

I found myself getting into it. I loved the taste of his cock in my mouth, I loved the power I had over him. I was controlling this great big hunk of man. I was sucking him off like a pro, and it was the first fucking time I'd ever given a blow job. I began using my tongue, and put my hand around the base to keep it in place. I started moving faster and faster, and then he was pulling my head away, yanking me by the hair, and I was angry.

I didn't want to stop, goddamnit!

And his entire body arched and shook as he shot a huge load onto his stomach and chest, his body heaving with each shot.

And when he was finished, he closed his eyes and laid there for a moment.

I wiped at my mouth. I could still taste him.... I wanted to keep on....

"Thanks bud." He opened his eyes and smiled at me. He picked up the remote and switched the television off. "You mind? I'm going to take a nap."

"Sure. Yeah." I got up, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment. What have I done?

I shut the door behind me and walked back into the parking lot.

What have I done?

Somehow, I managed to get to my car and drive home.

And no matter how much I brushed my teeth, I could still taste his cock.

Chapter 4

-skipped class the next day.

.I didn't want to face Blair, or any of the other students. I felt like there was a gigantic sign on my forehead flashing in red neon to everyone COCKSUCKER! COCKSUCKER! COCKSUCKER! I told my mother I didn't feel good and just went to my room and shut the door. She checked in on me a few times-once to tell me Blair was on the phoneand I just said I don't want to talk to anyone, and after that she left me alone. I'd turned my cell phone off, and just lay in bed staring at the ceiling.

Now you've done it. You're a homo for sure.

There's no turning back now.

I wasn't sure how I felt about it, now that I'd actually done it. There was always that part in the back of my mind which always insisted it was just a phase; as long as I never acted on it I'd be okay. All I needed to do was fuck a girl and I'd snap out of it. But that didn't keep me from longing for boys-Kevin, then Blair-and now I'd actually done it-something-with another guy, it was with a guy I barely knew, someone I certainly wasn't in love with, so what did that make me?

Not only a queer, but a slut.

I couldn't face anyone. All I wanted to do was stay in my room for the rest of my life and hide from the rest of the world. I woke up in the middle of the night and left a message on Blair's cell phone, telling him I wasn't coming to class (ever again) so he wouldn't show up in the morning. When my mom came to wake me up, I told her I still didn't feel so hot and I wasn't going. She shut the door and went away.

At noon, my door opened again.

"I'm not hungry," I said without looking.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Blair walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing. Go away."

"Jesus fucking Christ on the cross, Jeff, I'm the drama major, remember? You're the writer." He lit a cigarette. My mother didn't allow anyone else to smoke in the house. "Now, tell me what the hell is going on. You're supposed to meet me at the house yesterday; I get there and there was no sign of you. You don't answer your phone. Your mother tells me you're not well. This morning I get this pathetic voicemail that you're not coming to class. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So you sucked Rory Armagh's cock? It's not the end of the world."

I sat up in bed. "Did he tell you that?"

Blair laughed. "He didn't have to." He put an arm around me. "And he isn't going to tell anyone else, either, if that's what you're so afraid of. The last thing in the world Rory Armagh is going to do is let anyone know another guy sucked him off. You can put that in the bank and collect interest on it, okay?"

"How-how did you know?"

"You think I haven't sucked Rory off?" He started laughing. "Don't you remember what I told you that first day at the house? Straight boys don't care who gets them off when they're fucked up, remember? And alcohol, or pot, or coke, or whatever, is a perfect excuse for them." He rolled his eyes. "`Oh, man I was so fucked up last night, I think I let some guy suck my dick' or `Oh man was I drunk last night, I think I fucked some guy up the ass'. Whatever. The truth is Rory would let a dog suck his dick if he was horny. And by dog, I don't mean an ugly girl. I mean a dog. A cocker spaniel. A Great Dane. Get the picture?"