The man didn’t say anything at first but took a deep breath before croaking out an answer. ‘You won’t believe me.’

Jessica sucked air through her teeth, keeping her mouth narrow and closed so she didn’t have to feel the ache in her jaw. She didn’t want to say anything that could sound sympathetic but, before she could answer, Nathan spoke again. ‘Ask me something else.’

‘I don’t think you’re in a position to make a demand like that.’

Nathan looked up and Jessica could see liquid running from his nose, dribbling over the top of his chin. In the couple of minutes he had been staring at the table, he seemed to have aged at least ten years. He wiped his nose on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. ‘I know, I don’t mean it like that, I just . . . Look, I’ll answer. I’ll tell you what we talked about but, please, just ask me the other stuff first.’

Jessica looked at Nathan’s solicitor, who seemed slightly bemused, while Reynolds placed a hand briefly on her shoulder before removing it. Letting a suspect dictate what should and shouldn’t be asked wasn’t anything she would have comprehended doing but something felt right about the demand. After a pause, she began to speak again. ‘What type of relationship do you have with Ian Sturgess?’

‘None really. He contacted me through the Internet maybe a year or so ago. That was it.’

‘Do you know someone called Daisy Peters?’

Nathan shook his head, slowly at first, then more vigorously. ‘No.’

‘Have you ever been to the allotments near to the reservoir at Gorton?’

‘No, I don’t even know where that is.’

Jessica asked him about the woods where they had found Toby Whittaker’s clothes but he said he didn’t know about that site either. ‘Did you know who Isaac Hutchings was before you saw his name in the news?’ she added.

‘No.’ Nathan was speaking even quieter.

One by one Jessica read him the other eight children’s names they had found on the list in Benjamin’s shed but he denied knowing any of them. They already knew none of them went to the school he currently taught at. After the final name, he seemed close to tears and again wiped his nose on his sleeve before apologising for doing so.

‘Why did you run, Nathan?’ Jessica asked.

Nathan closed his eyes and leant back in the chair. ‘I don’t really know, I just panicked. As soon as you came to the door and asked for me, I knew why you were there. I knew you would never believe what I said. I didn’t really think. Have you ever done something really stupid when it seems like you’re watching yourself? It’s like you’re in the sky screaming to yourself to stop doing the crazy thing you know you’re doing but, by then, it’s already too late. By the time I had started running and I knew you were following, I didn’t know what to do. If I stopped, it would look bad, if I kept running, maybe I could have got away? I have no idea what I thought I’d do if I did get away. I left my wallet, phone and keys at the house.’

Jessica knew exactly what he was talking about. She’d had a moment similar to it while interviewing someone in this very room. There had been a few seconds where she had lost control and, by the time she knew what was going on, it was too late. She remembered an almost out-of-body experience of watching herself from the corner of the room, wondering what on earth she was doing. ‘I accept your apology,’ she said, almost without thinking. ‘I believe you didn’t mean to kick me.’

It was as if her acceptance turned a tap. Nathan began crying loudly but was trying to speak through the howls. Tears and snot ran down his face as he banged his bound fists on the table in what seemed to be an involuntary way. The words fell out of his mouth, a mixture of screams, sobs and coughs. ‘Will you tell his mother that I’m sorry? Mrs Hutchings. Please tell her I’m sorry for killing her son.’

28

Jessica said nothing but it was as if a chill had descended on the room. Bairstow’s solicitor remained completely still while his client bawled. Jessica took some tissues from the back of the room and handed them to Nathan but he was inconsolable. She looked to Reynolds, eyebrows raised. ‘Shall we?’ she asked.

The inspector started speaking into the tape recorder, saying the interview was concluded but Nathan began to shout over the top of them. ‘No, no, I’m fine. Please, I’ll tell you now. Don’t leave it here, I’m not finished.’

The man’s solicitor leant forward. ‘Perhaps you could give us a few minutes in another room?’ Jessica nodded and stood, banging on the door to get the waiting officer’s attention. The constable and solicitor led Nathan out of the room but Jessica could still hear him crying in the hallway, even after the door was shut.

As the noise began to fade into the distance, Jessica turned to Reynolds. ‘Wow.’

‘Did he just confess?’ the inspector asked, not seeming sure.

‘I don’t know. It sounded like it but it didn’t seem quite right. Even if he did I doubt the tape got it properly.’

‘I’ve never seen anything quite like that happen in an interview before.’

Jessica shrugged. ‘I have that effect on men.’

Neither of them laughed, before Reynolds broke the short silence. ‘We haven’t discovered that much.’

‘Only because I let him skip that question. We know that both he and Benjamin were teaching at the same school Toby Whittaker attended roughly at the time he went missing. We’ve got plenty with the phone call and confession. Well, sort of confession.’

‘Does it feel right to you though?’

Jessica knew it didn’t. There was something about Nathan’s choice of words and the way he exploded with tears that wasn’t what she might have expected. Lots of people cried in interviews but, for something as serious as this, suspects would usually be crying for themselves, not their victims. Remorse was something she rarely saw in the worst criminals, their only regret that they were caught. She didn’t reply because she knew Reynolds could see the answer in her face.

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door and a constable asked if they were ready to resume the interview. Shortly after, Nathan was sitting in the same seat as before. His face was red, the skin around his eyes was puffed out and looking sore.

‘Are you okay, Nathan?’ Jessica asked. The man nodded. ‘I want you to clarify what you said to us before you left the room.’ She spoke with a softer tone than she had in the first part of the interview. From the way the man’s solicitor was holding himself, she could see something had changed.

Nathan took a deep breath and looked up to meet Jessica’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve been holding onto this since I saw about Ian on the news. I am sorry about Isaac. It wasn’t me who killed him but . . . I think it might be my fault.’

Nathan stumbled over his words slightly but, unlike earlier, the things he was saying seemed far more deliberate. Jessica wondered what the man’s solicitor had said to him out of the room.

Nathan picked up a tissue from the table and blew his nose before continuing. ‘Everything you know is correct. I knew him as Ian from school but you called him Benjamin and so did the news. He contacted me through the Internet about a year ago. It was one of these sites where teachers can register and get in contact with old colleagues. There are these forums where we all join and share war stories about bad students and the like. I’ll give you my log-on if you like. Apart from a bit of swearing, there’s nothing bad on there. Before then, I’d not had any contact with Ian since the time we taught together.’

‘Were you friends back then?’ Jessica asked.

The man shook his head. ‘Not really, he was ten years older than me at least. I’m sure you have colleagues you’re on decent terms with but, away from work, you’d never say a word to them.’ Jessica felt uncomfortable, knowing Reynolds was one of those people.