Chapter 4

"Happy Halloween, Napoleon."

X X X X X X X 2910671557 Z DE: CENTRAL TO:

ALL SATRAPS PRIORITY BLUE EFFECTIVE 1500

HOURS GMT ALEXANDER WAVERLY UNCLE 1/1

OUT OF COMMAND. REPLACEMENT NAPOLEON

SOLO UNCLE 1/2. WHEREABOUTS 1/1 UNKNOWN.

ALL SATRAPS RELAY POTENTIALLY PERTINENT

DATA TO CENTRAL. HELENA THOMAS, ROGER

LADOGA, DR. THEODORE PIKE ARE RELIEVED

OF PRESENT ASSIGNMENT AND ORDERED TO

CONTACT CENTRAL BEFORE 1700. ALL STA-

TIONS COPY AND RELAY. END.

Helena was sound asleep in her Wilshire Boulevard apartment when the phone rang. She fumbled for it in the 8:00 A.M. sunshine that came in razor blade through the venetian blinds. "Hello?"

"Call Central. A Blue message came through pulling you off the Fairfax shop for something big. Looks like you might get a crack at Solo."

"That's worth waking up for. I'll slip into something and catch the next elevator down. Have Central on the line when I get there. Oh—and order me some breakfast. I think I'll need it."

Roger was in his club, working his way through the Sunday London Times, and was about two-thirds of the way into the business section when his pocket call signal chirruped. He beckoned the nearest waiter and requested a telephone. It arrived and was connected shortly, and he dialed an unlisted number. "Roger Ladoga here. What's the message?"

"Central has a job for you at last. Come down and call them from here."

"Any idea what sort of thing it is?"

"Involves U.N.C.L.E. NorthAm, apparently. Old Waverly's gone off for a rest cure and Solo's in his place. You've likely been picked as advisor for something to do with their headquarters—that's your field."

"You pay me well enough. I'll be down there in half an hour; have them waiting for me, there's a good chap." He rang off, rose, and beckoned for his hat and coat. It had been rather blustery out earlier—he hoped this assignment might involve a change of scene.

Dr. Pike was at his desk, working on a report. Outside his window night had already fallen, and the cold wind muttered around the doors. He was running a pencil lightly down a column of correlation figures, muttering to himself, when a chime summoned his attention. Abstractedly he felt around the litter of papers and found the telephone handset. "Yes?"

"Dr. Pike? I'm afraid your work will have to be set aside for a while. A Blue Priority order has just come through from Central requesting you to call them at once."

"Read me the message."

The caller did so, and added, "We can patch the signal from Central through this telephone, if it would be more convenient for you. You will lack the video signal, but it shouldn't be necessary. While we establish contact, I suggest you locate your dossier on Napoleon Solo. He is to be your target."

"This is Greaves, speaking for Central," said the flat voice. "You three have been taken from your duties for a sudden opportunity. We are all acquainted with Napoleon Solo's activities in the field—his admitted strengths and his definite weaknesses. Now we have this man at the key post of the entire United Network Command. If we can test him beyond his capacity, put a strain on him great enough to cause him to lose coordination, we could achieve great things during the resultant period of chaos.

"You three will devise plans for applying the pressure to the best advantage, submit these plans to the Ultimate Computer for evaluation, and then direct the operation. Solo can be broken—he must be broken.

"Allow me to introduce you to each other. Roger Ladoga worked as sub-agent in the New York office of U.N.C.L.E. for three years before coming to us six months ago. He is completely trustworthy, despite his questionable background. He will advise you on the layout and procedures which surround Solo."

"How d'you do, all," said Roger's voice lightly.

"Dr. Theodore Pike, one of our finest behavioral psychologists. Tell us how well you know Mr. Solo, Dr. Pike."

"It would be impertinent to say I could predict his every mood, but given available data I can predict his reaction to any set of circumstances with roughly eighty- five percent accuracy." The Doctor's voice was rather dry and slightly hoarse. He sounded as if he knew what he was talking about.

"And Miss Helena Thomas."

"Hi. Pardon me for not turning on the vision circuit, but it's the crack of dawn here and my hair is a sight."

"I don't have any vision equipment here," said Dr. Pike.

"No wonder my screen stayed blank," said Roger. "Greaves, what is Miss Thomas's specialty?"

"Miss Thomas has encountered Solo personally several times, both professionally and socially. We feel she may be able to supply valuable insight into your target's mental processes."

"Such as they are," said Helena under her breath.

"You three will remove to a mutually agreeable spot, where a satellite computer will be given you for direct communication with Central and the Ultimate Computer. It is suggested you choose a location with roughly the same time as New York for maximum efficiency. We have a cover available for you in Bogotá if you wish to take advantage of it. Prepare to stay from one to two months. Any questions?"

"Tickets and local covers for our absence?"

"Local satraps will be responsible for both. You will be expected to rendezvous in twenty-four hours, noon New York time, on Monday. Prepare proposals en route. Dr. Pike, you are nominal leader of this sub-group. Your priority code is Blue, your computer access code is Waterloo. Acknowledge."

"Priority Blue, CAC Waterloo."

"Your local satraps will give you the rest of your orders in official form. Start thinking now of ways to apply pressure. Anything else? Greaves out."

"Ta, then," said Roger. "I'll see you both in Bogotá tomorrow."

Helena and Dr. Pike bid each other farewell and signed off, Dr. Pike to shuffle his papers together and Helena to return to her apartment.

As she rode up alone in the elevator, chic silk lounging robe wrapped about her, she wondered briefly about Greaves. Was he the voice of the Ultimate Computer itself, or a human secretary, or one of the Upper Twelve? She might know someday if she kept advancing. This assignment was a chance for another boost up the ladder, if it worked out well, and it would be fun anyway. She slipped the lock on her door, yawned daintily, drew heavy drapes over the sun-bright slats of the venetian blinds, slid out of her robe, and burrowed down into the bed in search of her interrupted sleep.

In Bogotá they met in a hotel suite, with three separate bedrooms and baths, and total privacy. The satellite computer was brought in two suitcases, connected, set up and tested in about twenty minutes. Dr. Pike had a plan in outline form when he arrived, and neither of his partners had one to offer nearly as comprehensive. He offered it to the computer and explained it to Roger and Helena while the distant circuitry chewed it over.

"We have enough different projects under way that merely a slight shifting in schedules and a replaced emphasis can create more work for Solo. I'm sure we can hit him with a major crisis of some sort every day for at least three weeks as things stand now. By the time we begin to run out, we can have more ready. I believe the frustrations of his enforced physical inaction and noninvolvement will begin to wear on him. His nerves will begin to fray, since his desire for action will have no outlet. Then we will see about the second part of my plan."