“As soon as you feel it is safe,” she said. “If the drop is also under observation, forget it. I presume you are aware of the priority of this new assignment”
“Yes,” said Napoleon noncommittally. “But I’d guess if he was being followed they’d be suspicious enough of him that his usefulness would be in question anyway.”
“Not necessarily,” said Illya. “According to all reports. he’s been doing a good job inside Thrush; they might just have a standard security team on him.
They keep track of everyone as a matter of policy. But any attempt to contact him would not only blow his entire scene and his invaluable position, it would mean his life. Remember, Harry himself is not really aware of what he’s doing —is he, Dr. Grayson?”
“Not on all levels, no. He shouldn’t notice a few oddities and blank spaces and inconsistencies —remember what I said about the human mind’s capacity for self-justification. He may only feel vaguely that something is wrong, somewhere…”
Harry had the vague feeling that something was very wrong somewhere. He’d given in to some questionable impulses in the past, but nothing as foolish as this. He’d resisted the thought for days —yet every time he passed the Physics Lab storage room he remembered his one glimpse of that exquisite gleaming cylinder resting in red velvet, its perfect mirror-bright surface catching every light in the lab. Such a beautiful thing! It had caught his eye as he stood at the next table. and as he recognized it he had felt a surge of sudden desire such as a lesser man might feel for a woman. That slim glistening rod snagged his thoughts like a loop of flypaper.
He only intended to sneak into the locked storeroom and find the flat black case so he could see the gamma laser again, to compare its divine reality with the image he carried in his mind, but it was late afternoon before the.
opportunity presented itself. Operations closed down at five. and the Research section was deserted by 5:15. As staff copyist he was presumably free to check out when his work was done.
But when he opened the little case and actually saw it close up and felt its weight in his hand he started thinking. This was one of four spare units, besides one with the KBG; it wasn’t as if it had to be right here and ready on a moment’s notice. so just borrowing it overnight wouldn’t even be treasonable —he certainly wouldn’t do anything against the interests of Thrush, insofar as he understood them. It would be as easy to sneak it back in as to sneak it out —and then he could take it home, and sit down with all the blinds drawn and take all the time he would need to look at this impossibly perfect.
beautiful thing.
It slipped neatly into his pocket and didn’t even bulge. His heart beat a little faster as he checked out, nodded to the guard and took the elevator to the surface, where he emerged into the golden horizontal light” of the setting sun. His shadow marched beside him as he walked south a block, then turned east.
He didn’t break stride or hurry at alt until he got home. The case seemed to get heavier every minute for the last block, and he began to imagine someone coming after him. At last he closed the door behind him and set the lock. His flat only had a microphone planted; he wasn’t .important enough to rate a camera. Even at his level, the company bugs were common knowledge; he knew where his was and didn’t particularly care.
Without even looking into his pocket again, he hung his coat over the back of a chair in the living room and went to mix himself a good stiff drink. He turned the radio to KSFO and started to sort through the day’s mail.
Like a child with a new toy, tantalizing himself, he filed his gas bill and glanced through the latest ANALOG before starting his dinner. While it was heating he suddenly thought of Sirrocco. It’d be nice to have her over later this evening —though of course he couldn’t tell her exactly why he felt so good. He picked up the telephone impulsively and dialed.
Even as he finished dialing he wondered if he should invite her over.
After all, she might become curious or he might drop a hint accidentally. The phone clicked and the connection was made. If she answered, he’d have to explain why he was calling… The first ringing signal vibrated in his ear for two seconds. and in sudden decision he dropped his forefinger on the button and replaced the receiver. No. she shouldn’t be brought over here while he had the gamma laser in his possession. The gamma laser…
The shades were dawn and the lights down, the FM supplying background music for the company bug —he turned the Tensor lamp on his desk to focus in the middle and went to his jacket.
The case was there. not Quite small enough to fit between his hands. He didn’t open it. but carried it like a baby to the desk and set it in the center. Then he turned on the lamp and squinted against the concentrated light before bending close and opening the catch.
There it was. the most beautiful thing in the universe. In pink distortion his reflection stretched along its side. and the high-intensity lamp was a tiny dazzle at its left edge. His eyes feasted on its consummate symmetries for minutes until the timer rang in his kitchen. announcing his meal was ready.
Unwillingly he broke the spell. closed the case and extinguished the light. He tucked the case out of sight under some loose papers and went to eat.
Despite the music. his flat seemed oppressively quiet. He wondered if he really wanted to stay home for the evening. alone with his shining prize. or to go out on the town. There ought to be other people around for a celebration, even if they didn’t know what he was celebrating. He could 90 to some bar where he wouldn’t be known, and find a Quiet back booth where he could take his trophy out again and look at it. He’d like to have Sirrocco along to share it with her. but he wouldn’t dare let her know about it. It simply wouldn’t be right to involve her in something like this —which was. after all.
technically illegal. and could get him a whole lot of trouble if it was discovered.
He thought about this while he opened a can of dessert and decided it seemed perfectly reasonable. He caught a bus at the foot of the hill about 9:30. after freshening up and changing clothes; the precious case now nestled lightly in his shirt pocket. under sweater and coat. next to his heart.
He changed to another bus a few minutes later and rode east towards the bright lights. He wasn’t familiar with much of the north side of tOW11 except for Fisherman’s Wharf. and the area beybnd Chinatown was terra incognit,Qto him.
He got off at an intersection with an appropriate number of flashing lights and went at random into a place called Dinky’s. .
It was noisy and crowded. and the lights were dim. He took a booth and ordered two drinks. but there was no chance of privacy and he didn’t quite dare bring the case out of his pocket. He caressed its slick smoothness with the fingertips of his left hand after shifting it surreptitiously to a side pocket, and pictured the precious rod within.
Nobody had gotten off the bus with him, but he suddenly had the feeling he was being watched. He’d been there half an hour and hadn’t noticed anybody eyeing him consistently —but then he hadn’t-been thinking about it. He looked around covertly.
The place was so dark he couldn’t even be sure how many other people were there. He suddenly decided it was time to leave. .He finished his second drink, picked up his jacket from the seat beside him, and found a cable car headed north. He boarded it alone, and clanged and clattered off into the night with twenty tourists around him.
‘ A distant boat whistle hooted mournfully across the moon-silvered bay as they paused for a moment at the top of Hyde Street, then plummeted jerkily towards the waterfront below.