It had never occurred to me that Simone would leave. In the locker room, the teachers were abuzz, but I noticed again that Nina kept silent.

Katerina said, “Why would she go?”

Mateo said, “Sweetheart, those wet eyes of hers, the acne, the way she was so jittery. The nasal spray?”

When Katerina still looked blank, he said, “Cocaine. And probably a whole load of other stuff too.”

—

I talked to Nina alone as soon as we were both free. “You knew about Simone and the drugs.” It wasn’t a question.

Nina nodded. “Simone and I worked together at my old studio in the East Village. We used to be pretty tight, then I had to stay away from her for my own health because she was still using.”

“But why did she do it? She seemed to have everything.”

“Simone had a hard upbringing. I think she was sexually abused. She even worked in a strip club for a while.”

I gasped.

Nina wasn’t meeting my eyes. “I was embarrassed to tell you this before, but when the dance studios wouldn’t hire me back, I auditioned at a club to be a cocktail waitress too. I had a baby at home. It was so gross. I was still me and, God help me, I thought about taking the easy way out. Simone told me about it because she knew I was hard up. They’re not allowed to touch the waitresses at that place and it’d be a couple of hundred a night. I’d be able to clear out my bills, take care of Sammy, help out my folks. So it sounded okay to me, you know?”

“Did you go through with it?”

“Well no, because I bombed the audition. The guy just looked at me for a long time at first. I guess I passed that part, because then he asked me three questions. First: ‘Do you do drugs?’ I’d stopped so I could say no. Second, ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ I didn’t like that because it sounded like he was hitting on me but I thought, ‘Hey, I can handle guys,’ so I said no. Last one wasn’t really a question. He said, ‘Take off your shirt.’ I asked him why and he said the management wanted to know. I got it.”

I stared at her blankly. “I don’t.”

“The management was planning to have sex with me. They probably did all of the new girls and he needed to check me out first. I told that guy to screw himself and walked out. I have to live up to my little dude. I need to be a mommy that will make him proud when he grows up.”

“I can’t believe Simone went through that.”

“Like I said, the childhood stuff will mess you up. Her dad died when she was young and I think her stepdad . . . Well, all of her relationships with men were crazy. It was like she had no boundaries left.”

I thought of Ryan, who’d also lost his father. Nina had just shared so much with me and I trusted her too. I blurted, “I went to a party with Ryan this weekend. I really like him, Nina.”

But her reaction was less forgiving than I’d hoped. “Charlie.” Her face was stern. “Listen to me. I’ve been through it. You’re dancing with him. He’s your partner. You rely on him, he counts on you. It’s so easy to fall under the spell, but is it real? And what about being a dancer and a teacher?”

I pressed my lips together. “I know all those things and yet I still want to be with him.”

“Everyone wants to be with their partners. Take the energy and use it on the dance floor. Don’t make that leap and then regret it the rest of your life, like me.”

—

I braced myself to see Ryan again after our date in Spanish Harlem. Now that it was summer, he came to the studio fairly late in the evenings because he basically worked until the sunlight was gone. This was one of the busiest times of the year for him, yet he was still making time for our lessons.

Following everything that had happened and my latest conversation with Nina, I had once again resolved to be absolutely professional with him from now on, but the moment he stepped into the studio in his big boots and gardener’s outfit, I melted.

I stood by him as he bent to change into the dance shoes he’d bought. “Do you think anyone on earth has wider feet than you do?”

“I often think they’re like two loaves of bread.” Then he peeked at me through his hair, which had fallen into his eyes. “Sometimes I worry I might embarrass you when I come in straight from work. Not the kind of clothing Keith would wear.”

“No.” I cleared my throat. “I’m proud you’re my student. Come on, let’s get started.”

It felt better than right to dance with Ryan again, but I blocked any other thoughts from my mind and heart. He must have decided to do the same, because he didn’t bring up anything personal again. I told myself it was better this way.

—

Pa wasn’t home yet when I got back from the studio that night. I decided to wait until the next morning, when we both wouldn’t be exhausted.

At the breakfast table, Lisa poked at her steamed bun. Pa was praying long and hard at Ma’s altar. I knew he hoped her spirit would be able to help us. He’d been going to temple more often as well. When he finally joined us, I brought out the stack of forms that Mr. Song had given me. “Pa, I went to see Lisa’s guidance counselor yesterday about her health problems.”

They both looked up. Pa said, “Why did you do that? Now the school will think she’s a bad student.”

“That’s crazy. Why would they do that? She’s having a medical problem and they should be aware of it.”

“It’ll bias the teachers against her. They’ll think she’s a sickly child.” Pa had grown up in Communist China, where the less you said to any official, the better.

Lisa said, “I like Mr. Song. What did he say?”

“He told me that we could probably get low-cost or even free medical coverage for you. That means we’d be able to send you to doctors and get your tests. We could find out what’s going on.” I could barely contain my excitement. “The money wouldn’t be a problem anymore.”

Both Lisa and Pa looked taken aback. Lisa shrank into her chair. “I don’t know, Charlie. I don’t want to be tested by loads of doctors.”

“Who knows what they will do to her?” Pa added. “They told Mr. Lee he had asthma. He had needles, inhalers and then it turned out he had lung cancer. Within five months, he was dead. Almost bankrupted his family as well.”

“We’d be insured. We wouldn’t have to pay.”

Pa’s face was bitter. “They lie. When your ma was in the hospital, the doctors told me not to worry too. They didn’t tell me what the bills would be like. Those big companies tell you one thing, but when you owe the money, it’s a whole other story.”

I struggled to stay calm. “Pa, this is different from China. There are laws. They can’t say you’re insured for something and then suddenly, you’re not.”

“You don’t know the way the world works, Charlie. Uncle Henry doesn’t believe in it either and he’s an educated man. And I don’t want Lisa to disappear into a hospital where they’re doing all kinds of things to her. They can use her like a test rabbit.”

I finally understood. For Pa, it wasn’t even about the bills. It was about losing control to a foreign system and watching someone you loved die slowly. I felt my face soften, but I knew this was important. “All I want is to help find out what’s going on with Lisa and heal her.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do!”

“Pa, don’t you realize how much Lisa’s symptoms are like Ma’s? Aren’t you scared?”

Lisa drew in a quick breath. I immediately laid my hand over hers, regretting I’d frightened her.

The veins on Pa’s forehead bulged. “I’m thinking about it day and night. It would help me if you would work with us instead of deserting us for that foreign world of yours. Ever since you’ve started working at the computer company, you’ve changed. I don’t even know who my daughter is anymore.” He stood up, grabbed his keys and walked out of the apartment.

I clenched my fists. Lisa had her head down on the table. I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. “Lisa, why didn’t you help me there?”