Mo Li was digging in her suitcase for something. “Here they are!” She pulled out two large packages and tossed them to us.

I looked at the bright red logo through the wrapping. She’d given us Boston University sweatshirts. “Wow.” I took mine out of the plastic. The material was soft and heavy. “This must have been really expensive.” We usually got each other things like candles or drugstore cosmetics. Zan tended to make her own things. I still had an embroidered heart with my name on it that she’d given me in high school.

Mo Li said, “I’m on all kinds of scholarships and working jobs on top of it. Besides, I’ll be a lawyer soon and then I’ll rake in the big bucks. Zan, do you like it?”

I looked at Zan, who was rubbing her sweatshirt against her cheek. The smile she gave me was strange, and then I recognized the emotion on her face as jealousy. There was something new in between us. Things were changing for Mo Li, and now for me too, but not for Zan, with her dreams of driving away out of Chinatown.

Before Mo Li could notice, I said, “Mo Li, what happened with your ma’s naturalization test?”

She broke out in a grin. “She passed! And you know why?”

“Because you helped her prepare so well?”

“Nah, she didn’t learn anything. I think it was because I kept jumping up and down outside the examiner’s door. The window was set so high, I couldn’t see through it otherwise, and I was so worried about my ma. The examiner finally opened the door and told me to either get a step stool or take a seat in the waiting area. I could tell he was trying not to laugh, though. I think he just felt sorry for us and let her pass.”

“Thank goodness for kind examiners.” I thought of Lisa. “I wish there was something like that for the Hunter test.”

“How’s that going for your sister?” Zan asked.

I lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “She’s practicing on her own, as always. I tried to help her but I just couldn’t understand the questions. I think my uncle’s doing some exercises with her too, but it’s hard for them to find time at his clinic. Her other friends have parents and classes and stuff to help them prepare.”

Mo Li shook her head. “No one expects you to be her mother, Charlie.”

“I know. It’s just there’s no one else. Pa, well, you know how he is. He’s off in his own world and so busy trying to make ends meet. I wish I could do more for her. She’s not happy, something’s wrong. I can feel it. If I don’t fix it, who will?”

We were all quiet for a moment. Then Mo Li said, “Hey, Zan, what’s up with that learner’s permit anyway?”

A big smile spread across Zan’s face. “I passed the written test! I was waiting to tell you.”

Mo Li and I whooped. Then Zan deflated again. “But I don’t know what to do now. I guess it’s the real reason I put off taking the written test for so long, because I knew I’d hit a dead end after that.”

“What do you mean?” Mo Li asked.

“It’s no use.” Zan echoed my past words. “Who’s going to teach me to drive? I could never afford a driver’s ed course. No one I know has a car. They wouldn’t be willing to risk my driving it even if they had one.”

I regretted all of the realistic things I’d ever said to her. “No, you were right. You can do it, you just have to take things one step at a time.”

“You think?”

“Look, whoever would have thought that I’d be doing what I am now? I don’t know what’s going to happen to me but I’m just trying my best day by day. Believe me, if I can become a dancer, anyone could do anything.”

Zan sighed. “I’m just the girl at the food cart and that’s all I’ll ever be.”

Mo Li said, “Ridiculous. One day, you’ll be waving at us from some big old truck.”

Slowly, Zan smiled. “Yeah. Hasta la vista, baby!”

Mo Li said, “In honor of this occasion, I’m going to make us some microwave popcorn to celebrate.”

As we followed her into the galley kitchen, Zan said, “Oh, have you heard about Grace? She’s in deep trouble.”

I thought back to the meeting with the Yuans at the Benevolent Association. “What’s happened?”

“Her mother caught her in bed.”

“No!” Mo Li put a hand to her mouth. We all hid our sex lives from our parents. Until we were married, there could be no exceptions. I wondered if Grace had been found with Winston.

Zan continued, “With a girl.”

Mo Li and I both screamed. “I never knew Grace liked girls,” I said.

Zan shrugged. “I don’t know the details. I only heard her mother stopped by her dorm at Brooklyn College unexpectedly and caught her. Now the family’s planning to marry her off, as soon as possible. They say she’s too wild.”

“She has the right to have a girlfriend if she wants,” said Mo Li.

I felt bad for Grace. I didn’t want to imagine how Pa would react if he ever found out my secrets. “I agree, but her parents will move heaven and earth to get her tied down to a guy now.”

“Speaking of men,” Mo Li said, “I have a mission this Christmas vacation.”

Zan and I groaned. We knew Mo Li and her projects. She got her heart set on something and we all had to do it. Last time, she’d dragged us all to a karaoke club and made us do vodka shots before singing. Thankfully we were in our own private booth. I didn’t really like the taste of alcohol and none of us had any aptitude for singing. Not at all. It was awful.

Mo Li said, “Next week, we are going to Decadence.” Decadence was an Asian nightclub on the outskirts of Brooklyn Chinatown. Rumor had it that all kinds of wild things happened there.

I said, “Mo Li, sometimes I think you’re shallow.”

Zan giggled. Mo Li answered with dignity, “No, I’m exploring what it means to be American.”

Zan and I looked at each other.

Then Mo Li said, “My Korean friend says that the most important thing we need to do to get in is to dress really slutty.”

Twelve

The following Saturday evening, we all met at Mo Li’s house again. Zan and I had told our parents that we were sleeping over at Mo Li’s house since her parents wouldn’t be home anyway. That way, no one would worry when we were out until late. We would sneak back into Mo Li’s apartment before her parents returned in the morning from their night shifts.

The three of us considered each other. We were sorely lacking in sluttiness. Since Mo Li had gone away to college, she’d developed a funky style of her own when she made the effort. She was wearing a fashionable short dress with shiny boots, but Zan had on pants with a high-necked flowered blouse that must have belonged to her mother, and I’d chosen one of Adrienne’s simple dresses.

Mo Li said, “Well, at least it’s the winter so we’ll have our coats buttoned up anyway. They probably won’t be able to see much on the street.”

“Who’s ‘they’?” Zan asked.

“The bouncers,” Mo Li said. “They decide who gets in and who stays out.”

I said, “Is that even legal?”

Mo Li said, “That’s New York nightclubs. My friend explained the whole system to me. When you’re in line, you need to put the skankiest-looking girl in the front.” She surveyed us. “That would be you, Charlie.”

“Oh, thanks!” Now I looked like a bimbo. “You’re dressed cooler than I am.”

“But I’m really short and chunky. You’re the sexiest.”

Zan studied me. “You do seem different, Charlie.”

In this context, I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not.

Mo Li said, “We should get there just as it opens, when the line’s not too bad. We have to try to appear Korean.”

“What?” I said.

“We’re Chinese so we’re borderline acceptable, but if there are lots of Koreans in line, we probably won’t get in,” Mo Li said.

“Why do we want to go to this place again?” I asked. In high school, the three of us had attended dances at school, and once in a while, we’d gone to parties other kids had given. None of us had ever been into the wild scene. We drank a bit, but said no when drugs, mostly pot, were passed around.